The memories of a Tiger Lily
by BlueOwlEyes
Summary: "What was I supposed to see in James Potter? What did everyone else see in him? Me, I only saw his bloated head." how did Lily and James ever fall in love?
1. Chapter 1

Well, this is my first fanfiction, I hope you enjoy it ^_^ I've found a way to shorten the first chapter so it's not as long as it was previously, so the chapters after this have bits added to them from the first, but in the right order. I hope it's not too confusing to those who have already _read_ the first chapter.

P.S I don't own Harry potter, or his parents, and no matter how much I'd like to own a Remus or a Sirius they're J.K Rowling's and always will be.

* * *

><p>-FOURTH YEAR-<p>

"I don't get why you keep turning him down, Lily!" cried Willa as soon as we were out of the great hall, tailing me closely as I stormed away. I fumed silently, my mind still focused entirely on what James had said. He had the nerve to ask me out in the middle of an exam. It threw me off balance, it did sometimes. I didn't know why I was so irritated; I weaved my way through the thrashing throng of students in frustration. I had finished the paper early so it wasn't that he interrupted my train of thought. It was something else…was it because he just never quit? It wasn't _how _he asked me; he wasn't obnoxious about it…

"Lily! Are you listening? Seriously- what's so bad about Potter?"

This question snatched me back from my mind.

"He's arrogant! He thinks he's higher than everyone else, just because he can fly a broom well, there's more to life than having windblown hair and popularity, Willa."

I answered as I always did. My reply to why I constantly rejected James Potter always went like this, it was like I'd rehearsed and learned my lines by heart. I was tired of repeating my reasons- its not like people were asking James why he wanted to ask me out in the first place.

"Yeah yeah, I've heard that a million times- but seriously you have to admit he is a good Quidditch player and personally I think he ruffles his hair so he can attract your attention," Willa said nodding in a wise way. I felt my lips twitch like they wanted to smile. Instead I let out a breath of exasperation. Willa knew that was her signal to drop the subject of James Potter.

I burst out into the sunny grounds, sighing happily and breathing in the fresh air, loving the feel of the gentle breeze on my flushed face.

"Listen Lil, you haven't even given Potter a chance. Do you realize how many girls in our year that would practically poison and murder with muggle dueling to be in your position? There're even a couple _guys_…" Willa continued, trailing off as she turned her gaze in my direction, eyeing me beadily. We made our way to a towering willow near the shallows of the lake. _That's exactly why his head's so bloated. _I thought glaring at the grass as I walked. The sun danced on the clear surface of the lake, gleaming like the sparks from the tip of a wand. Willa let out a great sigh of relief and settled against the huge trunk, tugging off her shoes and socks, continuing to speak as she went.

"I mean, Maisie Mottlecough has been going on and on about putting amortentia in Sirius Black's pumpkin juice, what's to say the many admirers of James Potter won't follow suit?" she dipped her feet into the lake with a ponderous look on her fair features. I plopped down beside her, soaking in the refreshing shade of the tall tree like a sponge. I folded my legs and cradled my head in my hands, blowing at a stray chunk of hair.

"Willa, how did you do on your history of magic exam? I found it easy enough," I said in a colorless voice. It was a feeble attempt to change the subject.

She turned to scrutinize me; her eyes were narrowed with knowing.

"Lily, don't think I don't know what you're doing, you know I'd rather forget the exams as they finish, so stop trying to change the subject missy."

I sighed heavily and stared out across the lake, the giant squid lay a little further down from us, basking in the warm water, its giant eye sagging closed with bliss.

"Come on- answer me already, I don't want you stuck with someone like Severus Snape for the rest of your life!" Willa cried in frustration next to me. Sev…he wasn't that bad. He was easy to talk to, smart and understanding. He was proud and oblivious at times, but still a treasured friend. He had such value and specialness in my eyes; it saddened me to know that he refused to realize all his wonderful traits and tendencies. He stood out in every hallway, not for the silver and green Slytherin colors of his tie, not for the small silver snake emblem on his chest, but because he was Sev. He wasn't like the rest of the people in his house…I felt my shoulders sag thinking of his friends. The rumors flying around like a virus about them made a vile taste in my throat appear. What they believed in disgusted me. Surely it was the same for Sev?

Then again…I never did know what was sure about Sev anymore.

"Lily! Come on, please stop with the glazed look, you always get like this when I mention _him_! What do you _see _in him?"

I turned my gaze on her, my eyes flashing.

"What do you think I should see in James potter?" I said my voice sharp. Willa looked taken aback at my subtle fierceness. I felt a tinge of guilt at my tone, but brushed it away when I saw how fast she recovered.

"Look, I'll just tell you what I see Lil," she answered me seriously, looking me straight in the eyes.

"I see a boy with hazel eyes that could melt ninety chocolate frogs. I see a guy who's as crazy as a banshee for you, and is simply acting high and mighty to attract you. With Severus? I see a guy with a hairy heart, who is so aloof to the world, it's like he's frozen."

I felt my heart begin to ache at her words, that's what was happening to Sev, he was closing himself off to everyone. It was happening between us too, ever since he got himself involved with Lucius Malfoy. I ignored what she said about James pointedly…only because it was true. But I would rather swallow bubotuber pus than admit that. I had to squeeze my eyes shut against his warm ones when he looked me in the face. I couldn't stand to feel the butterflies in my stomach when I saw them, their wings flapping frantically against the walls of my stomach. The sensation confused me, a strange feeling of betrayal settling below the fuzzy warmth.

I unfolded my legs and pulled off my shoes and socks, discarding them behind me, Willa was watching me intently. I slid my feet into the cool sloshing water; letting the stifling heat of the day leave me momentarily as the refreshing chill touched my skin.

"I don't see it, I just notice his huge head," I answered her, smiling despite myself at her descriptions.

Willa grinned micheviously and nudged my shoulder.

"Well, now's your chance to observe Lil," she pointed past me, gesturing to the next tree a couple of feet away. I turned my head lazily; the summer sun and cool water had that effect. I gasped suddenly and hastily looked away, keeping my eyes on the giant squid, which was now snaking its tentacles to the surface to sneakily coil around a student's leg. The student batted the slimy limb away with a heavy revision book, looking horrified. I let my eyes flicker back to the oak tree.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew sat in a circle in the tree's shade, chatting comfortably. Remus Lupin had his head in a thick book and only dimly seemed to recognize the conversation. Sirius lounged against the trunk of the tree, smirking his arrogant smirk.

James combed his hands through his messy coal black hair and pulled a battered snitch from his pocket. Willa's smile couldn't have been any wider as she churned the water with her legs, sending ripples across the surface.

"Look, listen and learn Lily," she said, beaming at me, her eyes glinting deviously. I sent her a slight glare, but let the expression fall as laughter escaped my lips traitorously.

* * *

><p>"Prongs mate, stop acting like a muggle super model posing for the camera already, they haven't noticed you," Sirius smirked as James flashed a grin in the direction of the willow where two girls sat, chattering away happily and dipping their feet into the lake. James let the goofy smile slide off his face instantly to be replaced by an expression of mock indignation.<p>

"You should talk padfoot," James said his face changing to a crooked grin as Sirius winked wolfishly at two passing girls in Ravenclaw. Sirius simply shrugged, smirking airily.

"He has a point James. And put that snitch away it's distracting," commented Remus, turning a fragile looking page and continuing to devour each word. James reverted back to a look of mock hurt.

Peter however, just nodded furiously to what each of them said, wondering who to agree with. Sirius yawned suddenly and stretched his arms above his head, resembling a dog waking up from a long nap. James stuffed the snitch back into his pocket, letting his eyes stray over to the willow tree. Lily was splashing the water and laughing, a radiant smile on her face, her friend was grinning even though she'd just gotten soaked by the displacement of water.

He wondered what they had been talking about, but just as he thought it he saw Lily get splashed in a counter attack. As her laughter reached his ears, clear and bright like the chime of a bell, he managed to lock his gaze with her shining emerald eyes. He grinned stupidly. She looked slightly confused on how to react, but she quickly turned away. He sagged slightly at this, cursing his goofy expression for scaring her off.

He must have looked like one of those muggle clowns.

"James," asked Peter timidly, he had been watching him intently.

"I've always wanted to ask, why are you so hung up on Evans?"

Sirius let out a booming bark like laugh at Peter's question, his shoulders shaking from amusement.

"Don't we get that speech enough every time we mention anything that can be remotely traced to her wormtail?" Sirius said, regaining control of his voice.

James felt his cheeks color slightly. Sirius noticed he'd stepped on a nerve and back tracked.

"Its ok mate, I'm only teasing you," He said in a conciliatory manor. He only ever adopted this tone of voice for James. Never had it been used for anyone but his best friend, not teachers, not Remus or Peter, just James. It was a mark of how close the two actually were. James accepted the unsaid 'don't think I'm poking fun at you' conveyed in Sirius' voice.

"Peter, the question you pose is one that I can never answer due to the comments I'll make about truly soppy subjects. It just isn't good for my manly image," James smirked and leant against the trunk of the tree.

Peter looked impressed.

It wasn't hard to impress Peter.

* * *

><p>"Sorry!" I gasped as I accidentally splashed Willa by bringing my foot down too forcefully on the waters surface. Willa simply laughed and her grin showed only too clearly I'd pay for my slip up. Seconds later I found myself wet as well. Not that I cared- it was a hot day and I'd be dry in as long as it took to actually get wet.<p>

"Hey- look! Someone's eyeing you again!"

By "someone" I knew Willa meant James. But of course, being gullible, I followed her gaze before comprehending who she meant. James' grin was wide and goofy. I had to turn away quickly to stop myself from mirroring it in return. It was just that sort of smile. He may be a pain but his expressions affected everyone else. If Potter was sad, you'd feel it too. If Potter was laughing his head off, you'd find it hard to stop at just a tentative giggle. It was both annoying and fascinating how he affected people.

"You think we should warn Sirius about Maisie planning to put amortentia in his pumpkin juice?" I said, turning back to Willa who was trying hard not to laugh at my reaction.

"Hmmm, ok, you go," she said quickly. I gave her a look which clearly said: "I'd rather kiss the squid".

"Ok, ok! I'll go, but only because I think it would ruin Black's rep if he was found following Maisie Mottlecough like a lost puppy," She stood, ignoring the fact that her legs were still very wet.

Since the exams were over, everyone was outside, playing exploding snap in the shade or just having their own conversations. There was laughter and freedom in the air and I suspected that it had gone to Willa's head. I watched her walk the short distance to the oak tree.

* * *

><p>"Hark, a female approaches," Sirius commented, his wolfish smirk set on his face. James just grunted as he was laying face first in the grass, trying to take a nap out of boredom. Peter squeaked and tried to hide behind Remus who sighed.<p>

"Peter your fear of girls is going to bite you in the backside one day," he said in quiet disapproval, turning his gaze back on his book. Peter just squeaked with fright again and tried desperately to dodge behind the tree.

"Hiya," the mysterious female stated, plopping to the ground a little out of their circle. She had a fair face, with big brown eyes and caramel colored hair, Sirius noticed she was the one sitting with Evans. That and he'd watched her walk over. His eyes always noticed girls as pretty as her. That was his defense and he planned on sticking to it like a niffler on a galleon.

Peter stuttered an unintelligible string of words from behind Remus, then shut up, looking petrified. James just grunted again. Remus looked over the top of his book, gave a small smile and continued reading. Sirius, however, actually said a full sentence.

"Hello, what brings you to our inner sanctum, friend of Lily Evans?" He winked in her direction, his air friendly and curious. A bit like a dog meeting a new person. The girl grinned.  
>"I'm here to deliver some news that should be taken seriously," She said simply, folding her legs and observing the interesting group before her. A bit like a zoologist would a monkey in a habitat.<p>

"Ignoring the obvious pun on my name, I'd like to ask what news? Wait- don't tell me! Snivillus is finally washing his hair. Or is it that you're here to dare one of us to make out with the giant squid? Well I'll tell you now mysterious stranger, it isn't happening. Well- maybe Peter would do it, but I'm not that desperate."

At this the girl let out a chorus of giggles and shook her head.

"No, it has something to do with a Mr. James Potter," she said, smiling sweetly. Sirius was not fooled, Peter had probably peed his pants from being so close to a pretty female and Remus was too busy reading to notice.

"Yes, my dear companion over there would love his company," at this her eyes acquired a playfully devious gleam. She gestured to the remaining girl sitting by the willow tree, her long scarlet hair contrasting with the lake hugely. At this James practically leapt to his feet looking a mix between bewildered and hopeful.

"Really!" He asked, abandoning what he called his "manly pride". Sirius gave a bark like laugh at his friend's reaction and to his surprise the girl did also. James looked ready to rush over there but he contained himself well, sensing trickery. The girl smiled apologetically.

"Sorry James, I was only teasing. She'd kill me if I sent you over there and I like living."

James slumped to the ground, looking disappointed. He recovered fast though. Sirius was still doubtful of this girl's presence.

"I don't mean to be rude love, but I'm still out at sea as to why you're gracing us with your otherwise charming company," He stated, his black eyes twinkling.

"Oh I won't be for long, Mr. Black," she said, her eyes matching the sparkle in his. James looked back to Lily with a sigh. Remus looked up from his book to give him a sympathetic look. This seemed to revive James a bit.

"Are you blokes' familiar with Maisie Mottlecough? Tall fifth year girl, has more muscle than a mountain troll, quite admirable of her by the way, and straw colored hair?" the girl continued. Sirius nodded slowly, not really liking where this conversation was heading.

"Maisie Mottlecough, a girl in Slytherin who has a fondness for our very own padfoot, yes we've heard of her…Willa was it?" Remus cut in, looking up from his book and giving the girl a questioning look. She nodded.

"How'd you know her name Moony? Is there anything you don't know? You'll be trying to dominate the world next," commented James in a voice muffled by the grass, he was resting face downwards again. Staying upright had obviously been too much trouble for him.

"Remus, she doesn't have a fondness for Sirius, she has a total _obsession _with him!" chimed Peter. Sirius had gone very white. Willa giggled at these reactions.

"Yes, well, she's planning to put amortentia in your pumpkin juice, look forward to it Sirius," She sang, standing up and brushing grass from her skirt. Sirius looked positively faint. Remus seemed to muffle a laugh. James sat up quickly and gave Sirius a horrified glance.

Willa spun on her heel and danced back to the willow tree, humming cheerfully as she went to one of the Weird Sisters smash hits; "We live to horrify."

* * *

><p>I stared out across the lake, listening to the sounds of other conversations happening around me. I closed my eyes, breathing in slowly and savoring the weather.<p>

"You look radiant Lily," came a soft voice from behind me. I jumped and spun around, splashing a considerable amount of water on myself. Striding confidently towards me was Lucius Malfoy, Regulus Black and, my heart gave a jolt, Sev.

"Sev!" I cried standing up and climbing out of the lake. Severus gave me a helpless look. I blinked, confused.

"How rude of you Lily, to ignore my compliment like that," Lucius said silkily. I turned a venomous glare on him.

"Jump off a broom Malfoy," I hissed, folding my arms firmly over my chest. He tutted and shook his head slowly. Before Sev got involved with these two, I wouldn't have had the misfortune to have even noticed them.

"Let's just leave!" stated Sev fiercely. _Why Sev? I've missed you so much_, I thought desperately as he said this. Was our friendship nothing? We held on tight for four years after he got into Slytherin…did that mean nothing? Regulus looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here, his eyes kept darting to his brother nervously, who was lounging against a tree not too far away, having an animated discussion with Willa, who I knew was playing with her pray before going in for the kill. She was scary that way.

"What do you want?" I snapped at Lucius, trying to convey silently to Sev that I wanted to talk to him. He didn't get the mental message. Lucius smiled smoothly, showing a row of straight white teeth.

"Why, it's not what_ I_ want." At this he looked at Sev. He glowered at Malfoy.

"Shut up."

Was all he said, before turning on his heel and striding away. Lucius cast me a contemptuous look before following suit. Regulus looked so glad to leave he almost tripped over himself in his haste.

"Lil! What was all that about?" Willa was hurrying back over to me, a nervous expression on her face. I felt shaken, I hadn't spoken even a sentence to Lucius Malfoy before and I knew Regulus Black was quiet by nature from quick observations during dinner. But Sev, what did he want to tell me? I missed him, I missed my friend, was Sev still that friend?

I followed Willa back to the castle in time for the end of year feast. After we'd finished and I'd explained what had happened to her, I turned in early. She didn't question my actions. I flopped down onto my four poster, breathing in the familiar scent.

Next year was OWL year, and I knew the exams would be much tougher than they were this year. But my mind lingered on Sev's lost expression, on James' goofy grin and what Malfoy had said. I dug my fingers into the red silk duvet in frustration. Surely I wasn't just going to sit around and twiddle my thumbs? I felt my side table for a scrap of parchment and a quill. Finding what I wanted, I scribbled a quick message and folded it into a neat small square.

_Sev, whatever I did to make you ignore me so much, I'm sorry. See you this summer? At the park, first day ok?_

_~Lily._

I looked around the dormitory hopefully, to see if Aster had decided to visit. Sure enough Aster was sitting on the sill of the window overlooking the grounds. She was a beautiful spotted owl, with wide kind eyes and a shy disposition.

She always visited me in my dormitory, if she didn't she seemed to get separation anxiety. At least that's what Hagrid the caretaker said when Aster had gotten hurt one winter delivering a Christmas card to my parents. I felt so bad for Aster that winter. She really was a sweet owl.

I jumped off my bed and unlatched the window, holding out my arm. Aster hopped on with a small hoot of greeting. She nibbled my forefinger affectionately when I stroked her tawny head.

"You mind delivering something to Sev for me?" I asked her. She trained her large intelligent eyes on me and hooted her response. I set her down on the window sill again, she held out her leg obediently for me to tie the message to.

"Please make sure he replies, I'm worried about him," I told her as I did so. She gave my finger one last gentle nibble before taking off back into the night.

* * *

><p>I did have more bits with Sirius and James in this one, but it was transferred to chapter two so this one wouldn't seem so long and endless XD<p>

Thank you for reading this ^_^


	2. Chapter 2: Two encounters

Well here's chapter two! *applause*

I hope it's a more reasonable size but of course I always put a lot of unnecessary detail into everything I write! (I'm hoping it's more of a lovable quirk than anything else...) Thank you to NotJustAMuggle for the first review I've ever gotten, I'm very grateful ^_^

P.S as usual I don't own Harry Potter, but I would definitely make sure he had enough food and water if I did. (all jokes aside he belongs to J.K Rowling who I'm sure keeps him healthy enough)

* * *

><p>"Prongs, I'm <em>doomed<em>. Tell my mother I despised her!" wailed Sirius, falling back onto his four poster dramatically.

"I know it looks bad mate, but on the plus side she probably doesn't _really_ have troll blood in her," offered James in an awfully optimistic voice that was extremely faked.

"I know! I'll get Peter to taste test everything I drink!" said Sirius, sitting up and looking at Peter hopefully, who was sitting cross legged on his own bed.

Peter nearly choked on the chocolate he had accepted from Remus seconds before. Remus patted him on the back firmly.

"_W-what_?" Peter spluttered, regaining proper use of his throat.

"I don't want to be a-a _amortised _by her! Have you seen the size of her fists! She could kill me!"

"_Amortised_- really Peter, that's not even a word," Remus chimed in.

"You get what I mean!" squeaked Peter.

"Oh what a cruel, _cruel _world! When your own_ friend_ betrays you! All the girls I haven't wooed! And the sun! THE SUN! I shall miss the sun most!" Sirius cried falling back again, howling like a dog in pain.

"That's funny Sirius, because just a couple of hours ago you were complaining about it being too humid and warm outside," Remus said, raising an eyebrow in Sirius' direction. James chuckled from were he was leaning against one of the bed posts.

"It's so cold and dark were I'm going, I'll even miss your sympathetic remarks Moony!" Sirius choked, curling into a ball on his mattress.

"Just start drinking from a hip flask or something Padfoot," James offered, casting his friend an encouraging look which said: "You'll get through this Maisie business alive, no worries!".

"If she spikes the flask then what Prongs? THEN WHAT?" Sirius cried.

"You have to admire her persistence," Remus said with a chuckle.

"If you were in my position you wouldn't be so carefree!" Sirius moaned.

"Why does Remus always get the sane chicks! Why must I get all the crazies?"

"Because he's a sane person?" Peter offered. Remus grinned triumphantly.

"Oh so now I'm insane too? This day just keeps getting better and better!" Sirius groaned, burying his face into a pillow.

"You're not insane yet padfoot, but by the unhinged way you're shouting you could be considered crazy. I'm pretty sure they haven't heard you in Hogsmeade yet," James said.

"I'm fourteen! I'm too young to perish in the arms of an older woman!" Sirius continued, his wail muffled by his pillow.

Remus sighed irritably.

"Sirius, you do realize that the Hogwarts express leaves tomorrow? She won't have anytime to put amortentia in your juice as the leaving feast has come and gone and, shocker, you're still yourself," he stated logically.

James gave a whoop of laughter at this.

"You were acting like a drama queen for nothing Padfoot!"

Peter gave a relieved laugh.

Sirius sat up and looked at them all, his eyes narrowed.

"There's always next year, and the year after that, and the year after that! And when I do leave she'll probably stalk me!"

"Oh you don't give your admirers enough credit Padfoot; they'll all be tempted to stalk you," Remus chuckled.

"Yeah, but they're a good sort of crazy! Mottlecough is a dementor wearing a skirt!"

James gave another booming laugh. Remus just looked annoyed.

Peter, however, nodded furiously in agreement.

"Just give it a rest Sirius, you have a summer left to live and you can come and stay, my parents are used to having you around by now. My mum even _expects_ you to come," James said with a grin.

Sirius nodded, composing himself slowly, calming down.

"Peter- next year, in order for me to live, you're taste testing my pumpkin juice!"

Ok so maybe he _wasn't_ calming down.

* * *

><p>Willa came into the dormitory looking thoroughly pleased with herself.<p>

I turned from the window, from where I was staring into the grounds and observed her cheerful behavior.

"What happened that's so good?" I asked with a smile.

Willa returned my expression, grinning widely.

"I heard Sirius all the way in the common room!" She sang.

"He didn't take it well did he?"

"No he did not!" she said in a sunny voice.

"You know instead of tormenting him with pieces of gossip why don't you just tell him you like him?" I said wearily shoving things into my trunk. Willa froze, her eyes wide.

"How did you kno-"

I cut her off.

"It was a wild guess." I stated simply.

She fell back onto her bed, her eyes shut, frowning slightly.

"He's just not the sort of guy who will take being confessed to well," she said with a shrug.

"I can just picture his expression! Besides- I'm like him. There is no way I'm ever telling him I have a crush on him, it'd be like peeves picking flowers for the first years and saying 'sorry'."

"If he did hand out flowers they'd squirt water," I said with a laugh, sensing her air of hopelessness, even though she was hiding it expertly.

After that the conversation turned to what we were planning on doing this summer, Willa was going to France for a couple of weeks. Me? I had nothing planned. I'd probably spend the whole thing shut up in my room to avoid Petunia's constant hisses of; "_Freak_!" and only escape to go to the park.

With my trunk packed and ready I slid into bed, closing my eyes. It only felt like I'd slept a couple of minutes before a soft tapping sound woke me up. I sat up blearily and scanned the dark dormitory. All my other roommates had come back at some stage and were already snoring quietly. I spotted Aster at the window sill, looking at me imploringly. My heart leapt as I rushed on tip toe to the window.

"Thank you Aster!" I took the small note from her beak.

_2'o'clock at the swing set, I'll be there. _

_Sorry for ignoring you. I'll explain._

_-Sev._

I beamed at the message. He was still that friend.

* * *

><p>-SUMMER-<p>

"_freak!_" hissed Petunia as I rushed past her and fled to my room.

"Stop _calling_ me that Tuney!" I cried down the stairs, hoping tears hadn't seeped into my voice. There was a time when we were so close that I felt that she was a major staple in my life. I had the strongest affection for Petunia back then, the kind of love you can only have for someone like a sister.

Too bad that time was long over and I was surprised at how fast I'd gotten used to her cold treatment of me.

I was shocked when I realized that I didn't _really_ need her. But sometimes I got the feeling that _she_ needed _me_. That small, feeling of hope and reconciliation would soon be snuffed out like a candle. She would simply turn her nose haughtily up at me with a "_hmmph_!" I could only sigh and hope that time would mend things. I was confident it would, besides- I'm not one to despair so easily and I'm not starting now.

"_Tuney_? Stop calling me Tuney!"

Petunia was at the door, her face flushed with embarrassment and an emotion I hadn't seen on her face before. Was that relief? Annoyance? Happiness? A mix of all three? Surely it must hurt to feel three emotions at once? Should she see a healer? Wait no, a doctor. She'd never agree to see a healer. I smiled.

"I can't Tuney. I've always called you Tuney and I don't plan on changing the habit." I wanted to add: "because you're my sister and no matter what I still like you as one," at the end, but I felt it would be going too far as Petunia had pursed her lips, looking as red as a tomato. I think she got the message anyway. But just when I thought she was going to say the first nice thing she had said to me in four years she turned on her heel, _hmmph_-ed and walked away.

I grinned. I think I put a crack in the barrier between us.

Just as I decided to get an early start on my homework before seeing Sev, the doorbell rang. There was a squeal from Petunia as she rushed down the stairs. I cringed when I heard Petunia's high pitched shriek and the loud thumps of feet on the wooden stairs. _Why was she so excited?_ I got up cautiously from my desk chair and crept across the landing to peer down the stairs stealthily. Petunia was at the door beaming and fluffing her hair, her smile sickeningly sweet.

The door was already thrown wide. I felt myself gape at what I saw standing there, my eyes transfixed. I was left speechless.

There, standing in the doorway was the largest, most foul looking boy I had ever clapped eyes upon. He had hardly any neck, pale blond hair and dark stubble under his nose. His eyes were beady and the color of blue paint when you spill water on it, draining it of true color. He was smiling stupidly; he seemed even _more_ self assured than James! I didn't even think that was _possible_!

"Morning Petunia," the boy said heartily, flashing another goofy smile at my sister. She giggled girlishly, fluttering her eyelashes. Bile rose in my throat, I thought I was going to be sick at the sight of them. How _sweet_ and _flirty_ my sister was acting for that walrus! I didn't think I was being too cruel, he seemed perfectly _horrid_.

"Just delivering the paper as usual, here you go then Petunia," He said quickly, pushing the newspaper into Petunia's hands with a clumsy wink.

"Times are tough, I do need money you know!" he added before rushing away with a loud guffaw. _As if he had to explain his job!_ I snorted inwardly. It was obvious he came to gawk at Petunia; this thought triggered my gag reflex again. Petunia looked positively starry eyed, like she'd just glimpsed pure perfection and it had actually noticed her.

"Bye then Vernon!" I heard her call in a high, sugary voice, followed by more fluttery giggles. I shuddered. This was a scene of horror; I now know what killed the curious owl. It'll scar me for the rest of my days. Trying to pull myself together after witnessing such a disgusting display, I stood, brushed the dust from the floor off my long skirt and went down the stairs, casting my sister a reproachful look.

Petunia was leaning against the door, fanning herself with the newspaper, eyeing it like it was a sacred object made out of gold. I, however, stared at the thing like it was a rabid animal. I held back the urge to give my sister a good shake in the hopes it would knock some sense into her skull.

"What are you looking at?" Petunia snapped suddenly, looking truly embarrassed as she hid the newspaper behind her back.

"My once sane sister," I answered wide eyed, completely and utterly stunned. Petunia glowered silently at me.

"Vernon _happens_ to be the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen!" She hissed.

I had to hold back the urge to pretend to vomit in the vase standing near the door.

"Gorgeous? Really? Am I missing something?" I asked her, truly wondering what she saw in him. His personality certainly wasn't gorgeous by the sounds of it. Petunia bristled angrily like a cat.

"I didn't know you had such a different taste in boys! Maybe I really _am_ missing something!" I gasped, truly taken for a loop as I looked at her incredulously. I really hadn't meant to sound so shocked and rude. It just slipped between my lips as I thought it. Petunia pursed her lips and her eyes flashed. I sensed that hurricane Petunia was approaching.

"_Look who's talking!_ When you're sending googly eyes at that weirdo down the street almost every day! All _lovey dovey_, sitting on the swings and gazing at each other in a love struck way! It. Makes. Me. _Sick!_" she spat. I blinked in confusion.

"You mean Sev?"

"I don't know his name! But I know he's a_ total_ weirdo!" She answered, folding her arms and turning her head away from me haughtily.

"He's really nice you know, I'm off to see him now actually," I said brightly as I remembered the meeting we had set up. I scooted around Petunia and waved cheerfully at her from the foot path.

"See you Tuney!" I called, our previous conversation having flown in one ear and out the other at the mention of Sev.

Petunia gaped at me from the door way.

"Hey- _hey_! I'm not done talking to you! _Lily_!"

"It's ok Tuney! If I see Vernon I won't tell him you like him! I promise!" I called back airily, shooting her another cheery smile as I rounded the corner. I caught her expression from the corner of my eye. She looked scandalized, her mouth agape.

"_You won't will you_! _Don't you DARE Lily_!" I heard her shriek. Oh so she hadn't thought of that? All well. I've already said I won't, sadly.

I grinned down at the pavement, watching the shadows of the trees on the patches of grass next to me shift and dance across the concrete. Their soft green light was refreshing to see. The chirp of insects was loud and clear in my ears, occasionally drowned out by the deafening hum of a lawnmower.

Soon, I'd be at the park, able to swing as high as I could on the swing set, pretending I was still ten. I'd replay the first day I'd met Sev when I was high in the air, like I wanted to grasp the clouds and see for myself if they really were as fluffy as they looked. My memory of that day was only clear when I was on a swing and in the air. I could trust the wind with that precious memory, even if it wasn't flawless; Sev had looked quite dodgy that first time. I wonder if I could make treasured memories with James too?

Not just the ones where he asked me out and I rejected him, ones where I could look at his big smile and feel at ease. Where I felt safe to truly enjoy his loud bright laugh and join in without having to stop myself_._

I gave myself a mental shake after nearly walking into a tree, a dazed expression on my face. I didn't realize how deep in thought I was.

I gave myself another hard shake after re-counting those thoughts.

Why was I thinking of James like _that_? I was certainly going mad, thinking that things between me and James could change and in _that_ way/ James was in love with himself and to think he could share that love was crazier than the invention of cheese cauldrons.

Did I even _want _him to change? _Sev. Focus on Sev. He's who you're meeting right now._ I told myself firmly.

And that's what I did, I focused on Sev.

* * *

><p>Severus kicked at the ground moodily as he lent against the trunk of a tree. He Looked up every now and then at the gate at the other end of the park, a hopeful expression on his face. He sagged when no one was there.<p>

_Maybe she's not coming…_he thought in disappointment. But then again, he was a whole half hour early. He then began to fret about her thinking him creepy for being too early. His head rang with what Lucius had said.

"_You can't possibly like a Griffindor can you Severus? That would be most…shall I break it with kindness? Or should I be blunt? That would be most distasteful. And a mudblood like her! Surely you could do better Severus." _

Severus remembered pulling his wand out of his robe pocket at this, his eyes flashing murderously.

"_Don't you DARE call Lily Evans a mudblood Malfoy_!" He had hissed.

It had been the wrong move. The corners of Lucius' mouth curved upwards cruelly.

"_Why, then you should tell her. The sooner she rejects you the sooner you may choose someone more fitting, ah but then you'll probably be too ashamed to face the common room. Alas such is life!_" At that Lucius had begun striding across to where Lily sat, sunning herself peacefully with her legs dangling in the lake. Severus had no choice but to follow, casting mental daggers at Lucius' back, thinking of all the curses he'd use on him if he called Lily a Mudblood to her face. But then knowing Lily she could probably hex Lucius to oblivion with the flick of her wand.

Not that she ever did, even when someone deserved it.

Severus found it hard to choose between admiring her for that or scolding her for being too merciful.

He sighed with content, his heart warm with thoughts of Lily. He had begun to think she'd forgotten him. But when that note came he couldn't hide his grin, even from his moody dorm mates. Surely he could tell her soon. Soon but not now. Lucius had only been taunting him that day, annoyed at Severus for some inexplicable reason.

Who knows anymore?

Severus didn't bother to keep track of what he did to irritate Lucius.

He could stand getting scolded by Narcissa Black if she could trace the source of Lucius' coldness to him. He could stand Bellatrix's crazed rants to Lestrange about how no one understood her. They were usually so loud that people standing on the astronomy tower could hear her. He could endure all that, with just one thought of Lily. That was all it took to reassure his heart and let him settle into his surroundings like he'd just had forty-two goblets of a calming draught. That was all it took.

But then _Potter _strode onto the scene, stealing Lily's secret glances filled with something Severus had never seen on her features before. She always turned the troll butt down though.

Even so, Severus couldn't help but conjure up a picture of Lily's face when she stole a quick, almost non-existent glance at Potter. Her pretty, kind features were curious and almost affectionate. It was enough to blacken Severus's heart for the remainder of the day. Potter didn't deserve those looks of raw affection... did he?

_Oh and you think you do?_ _You think she should only give them to you? _A little voice asked him imploringly. It wasn't a voice of torment, it was a curious voice. _Well, she should at least give them to someone more deserving_. Severus thought venomously. He could never hate Lily no matter what she did. She could slap him, with a look of pure loathing on her features, call him detestable, call him an acromantula's hairy behind, and he wouldn't care in the slightest.

He could _never_ hate Lily.

But Potter, he was a whole other story. He thought his hate for the boy would never run out. If he had to hate just one person, he would hate Potter. He couldn't stand Black either. But he never gave him the special dislike he saved_ just_ for one insufferable four-eyes. He knew his feeling was shared by Potter as well and it suited him. He didn't care what he thought of him.

And he never would.

* * *

><p>Well that's chapter two done and dusted and I've finished chapter three already so that should be out soon as well, I really hope I've got my information straight about the series as well but I apologize if you spot any mistakes :D<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: A thought provoking reunion

Okay, here's chapter three! We jump over to James for a bit, but then we go back to Lily from were we left her last time ^_^

P.S I think it is fairly obvious I don't own Harry Potter, but I know Dobby and Colin Creevy would jump at the chance to.

* * *

><p>James sneezed as he opened the door, after hearing the doorbell ring persistently at least ten times in a row. A muggle device his father had enthusiastically installed for some bizarre reason.<p>

"I'm coming, I'm _coming_!" He said as he pulled it open, wondering what the sneeze was all about. Sirius stood in the doorway, looking bedraggled, a broom over his shoulder.

James stared at him wide eyed as he took in an unfamiliar version of his best friend's usually suave, arrogant self.

Sirius's shaggy black hair was viciously tangled; his eyes were blood shot and wild, sporting large purple bags underneath. He was trembling, the hand that steadied his broom shook as he shuddered violently; his trunk lay on its side, discarded on the steps to the door.

"Padfoot! What _happened_ to you? I thought you were getting here by floo powder-" James cut himself off as he swooped forward, seizing Sirius under the arms as he swayed precariously, nearly keeling over right on the doorstep. James was shaken mentally; he had never seen his best friend in such a state, it was like he was looking into a parallel universe, never mind that he could actually feel the limp, heavily convulsing Sirius slumped between his own arms. He denied the fact that the sharp, labored breath that reached his ears was his best friend's lungs at work.

"The- the old woman kicked me out and t-tossed my broom out with me, too bad she said she'd see me next summer," Sirius gasped, trying and failing to stay upright. James supported him heavily. What Sirius didn't know was that his legs had already given up on standing and that James was the only thing keeping him from meeting the floor.

"Ok- so you're a little early, I think it's a new record personally. You got away much earlier than last year mate," James answered gruffly as he attempted to heave and drag Sirius up the stairs to his room.

"I can do it Prongs, stop manhandling me," said Sirius hoarsely although he made no attempt to encourage his muscles to move and carry themselves up the stairs.

"These stairs are not carpet covered Padfoot, if you crack your head open from smacking it against them don't blame me in the afterlife," James grunted.

"Oh take the room on the upper story James; it has a nice view James, its bigger and more comfortable James! Well it certainly isn't _convenient_ mum!" he grumbled to himself as he struggled onwards with his semi-conscious friend weighing him down. Sirius gave a feeble chuckle then seemed to lose what little grip he had on the world around him, relaxing in a dead faint. The staircases in Potter Manor where unusually wide and steep, a fact which James cursed as his best friend slipped in his arms slightly. Battling to regain a firm grip on Sirius, James paused.

"What in Merlin's name am I playing at? DAD!" yelled James frantically into the house, his voice strained from keeping his very heavy, very unconscious friend in his grasp.

"What is it James? Really, screaming this early in the morning, do you not have any consideration for a sleeping person? I thought we got past that stage after you were toilet trained," yawned his father, appearing at the top of the stairs, wearing a navy dressing gown, his slightly balding black hair messy as always.

"Dad, I was never past that stage, now stop making unnecessary statements and _come help me_," gasped James, quietly begging his father for assistance. James never begged anyone for anything, but right then and there a tinge of urgency crept into his voice. His father was soon at his son's side, peering at the boy in his arms.

"What happened to him? Is he homeless or something?" His father asked looking closely at Sirius's pained face.

"He's _Sirius_ dad! Grab hold of his other arm before I drop him!" cried James in irritation at his father's slowness. His father did as he was told, easing James' burden considerably. James sighed in relief.

"He doesn't look like Sirius, what _happened_ to the boy?" His father asked as they carried Sirius easily up the remainder of the staircase. James felt extremely thankful that his father had taken most of Sirius's weight.

"That's exactly what I'd like to know," James answered as they deposited Sirius gently onto the bed in the guest room. The color scheme of the room was red and gold, the colors of Gryffindor.

"I thought he was only coming next Thursday, by floo powder," His father continued his expression serious with an edge of concern.

"Change of plans obviously. The old lady kicked him out early," James said with a shrug.

"James, we do not speak of other people in such a manor! Even if they're pureblood maniacs," His father scolded, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. James knelt next to Sirius's sleeping form; he seemed to have curled his legs up a bit like a dog. James examined him closely.

"Yup, he's in a bad way pops."

"I'll fetch my wand and rap him across the forehead shall I? That'll heal him in _no_ time," His father answered, rolling his eyes and folding his arms.

"Dad, this is really no time for sarcasm," James said, smirking slightly.

"Well, he really just looks extremely exhausted. I'll bet twelve galleons that he flew here through the night."

James turned his gaze back onto his friend. Sirius's mouth sagged open slightly, stretched into a smile at the corners; he seemed to be murmuring something in his sleep.

"Ladies, _ladies_ one at a time please, all the sane ones may report to moony over there, he's great fun at parties as long as he's drunk."

James laughed upon these words, shaking his head slightly.

"What am I gonna do with him dad?"

"I don't know son, he's your best friend, meaning you're saddled with that baggage. Speaking of baggage I'll go fetch his trunk," His father answered barely suppressing a grin as he left the room.

"Nooooo! I_ refuse_ to marry the giant squid! Do you have _any_ idea what that thing would look like in a wedding dress!" Sirius said suddenly in his sleep. _What in the name of Merlin is he dreaming about?_ James thought casting his friend a look of perplexed amusement. He leaned over and shook his shoulder.

"Hey, come on padfoot, wake up will you?"

Sirius stirred slightly, his brow furrowing in annoyance as he cracked open one rainy gray eye.

"_What_ is it prongs, it had better be good." He answered groggily, sitting up. James felt guilty for waking him up but he was worried for his best friend.

"I'll let you sleep later, what happened over at your place to get you kicked out this early in the summer, you barely spent a _day_ with the woman," James continued.

He had waited until his father was occupied before he roused Sirius. He knew it was something Sirius would like to discuss with him. The boy in question suddenly looked wide awake.

"You know when I said 'it had better be something good' I meant like muggle supermodels had just entered the room or Snivillus was having his hair forcibly dyed neon pink. Not a mention of that hag."

James cast his friend a look of utter seriousness, one which read; you can't fool me.

"Spit it out Padfoot."

Sirius let out a long sigh, raking his hands through his crop of black shaggy hair, casting his friend a mutinous look. Why oh why did they have to be so close? Why did James have to know that he had wanted to mention the whole sticky situation to him?

If they hadn't been such good friends Sirius could have postponed it until it suited him. But he did owe it to his anxious looking mate, who had taken him in every summer since first year.

"Fine. So maybe I upset the miniature dark prince. The old bat really lost it this time. She kept screaming at me about what a _disgrace_ I was, about how _unworthy_ I was to even be in the same room as my suck up brother, about how _ashamed_ she was to have me as a son, you know, her usual raving."

James nodded slowly; he was used to hearing tales of Sirius's mother. He had gotten over the first shock of how his mother treated him after finding out that Sirius couldn't care for a sickle.

"Anyway, it was really boring so I might have called her something I shouldn't have-"

"_Padfoot."_

"Fine, fine! Don't do a Moony on me Prongs, sheesh. I _might_ have called her a 'rotten, bitter, wrinkly old bat'. I suppose that's why she threw me out, can't say I'm not pleased about it though."

Sirius looked down at the bed uncomfortably upon ending.

James shrugged, feigning indifference.

"It's no big deal. I was just wondering how bad it was this time Padfoot."

Sirius looked comforted by these words. It was true- he couldn't care less for his wretched mother, he'd sell her to a group of mountain trolls for two knuts if he could. Heck he'd probably just hand her over for free. As for his brother Regulus, he had a more merciless attitude; it wouldn't be too late for him, if only he wasn't such a shameless suck up.

"OH! There you two are! Your father just told me about Sirius, James."

James' mother was standing in the doorway in her red dressing gown, beaming at the two boys in the room. Her hazel eyes were bright and eerily like James's, they were framed with laugh lines. She had kind, pretty features.

"You should get some rest Sirius, you look exhausted. I'll be starting breakfast soon, so I hope you can hold out for a bit dear," She said before continuing on her way.

"James, don't disturb him, he needs some rest!" She added firmly from down the hall.

"It was like I wasn't even there," James said, turning a curious look onto Sirius, who was smirking in an amused way.

"Nah, it's just because your mum fancies me," Sirius said with a bark of laughter at the expression on James' face.

"Ew, Don't even suggest that, that's disgusting!"

"She must have been rather attractive when she was younger though Prongs."

"Merlin, you have no boundaries do you? That's my mum you're calling attractive!" James said with a shudder, secretly happy that Sirius seemed to be turning back into his old charmingly arrogant self. Sirius shrugged.

"She's a-heckva lot easier to look at than the soul-sucking dementor that calls herself my mother."

James laughed at that statement, severely relieved to see that there was no long term damage done to his best friend.

* * *

><p>"Sev!" I called breathlessly as I ran through the park gates, waving cheerfully when I spotted him dozing off against a tree near some bushes. He jerked awake and shot me a small, crooked smile in welcoming.<p>

"Good to see you Lily," he said when I stopped in front of him, leaning on my knees puffing. I had broken into a run not too far from here just to shake the sleep from my legs; I had been inside all day after all.

"Yes, you too Sev!"

At my words his smile got wider and I found myself beaming at that small movement of muscle. He really didn't know how wonderful he could be. He really didn't. I went over to the swings, gesturing him after me.

"I've been missing these swings, I honestly love them," I said to him, slipping onto the plastic seat and kicking myself into motion.

I felt two hands on my back giving me a push and I grinned.

"Thanks Sev!" I called as I swung forward, my stomach dropping; the sensation was heart-warming and familiar. He didn't say anything; he usually didn't if he felt there was no need.

"So wasn't there something you wanted to say Sev?" I asked as I came closer to him again, enjoying the soft breeze against my cheeks.

"Yeah, I wanted to tell you not to worry about what happened near the lake that was nothing honestly," he answered sincerely.

"Really? You seemed pretty peeved, it sort of hurt to see you walk off without at least saying 'hello'," my tone of voice plainly said; you can't fool me. He gave me an extra gentle push while considering what I'd just said.

"Lucius is simply an irritating person that's all."

I fell silent at that. I knew that wasn't the only thing he wanted to say from the tone of his voice, but I also knew it was futile to push the conversation further.

I let myself swing back and forth; trying to feel the same happiness from being on the swing set as I had moments ago. It just wouldn't come. Instead I felt rather dull and frozen inside, Sev told me everything, everything that bothered him, everything that he found interesting, anything. Everything he knew, I knew.

But that wasn't the case anymore. It hadn't been the case since the start of fourth year, and I was just realizing that now. It took everything I had to swallow a dry sob that was crawling up my throat. It was like words had died in my mouth, I didn't have even the faintest idea of what to say next.

"Why were you alone, you know that day at the lake," Sev suddenly asked from behind me. His voice had an edge of desperation, like he was also being crushed by the sudden awkwardness in the air and wanted to revive our conversation.

"Oh, Willa went to tell Potter and them something she thought Black needed to know," I answered, more than willing to ease back into an easy and comfortable atmosphere like I usually enjoyed with Sev.

"Oh, I see."

He paused, like he really didn't know how to go on and I found myself begging inwardly for him to somehow continue the halting conversation. I thought there was so much I wanted to tell him, but it all seems to have evaporated in my mind.

"So, is _Potter_ still bothering you?" he said finally, his voice was dangerous and he spoke the name 'Potter' like it was a disgusting foul word that he sincerely hoped would never pass through his lips again.

"I'm the one who should be asking you that Sev." I answered barely concealing my relief that the conversation was beginning to flow again.

"I can take care of that _troll butt_ on my own Lily, there's no way I'd let him do something to you, and if the arrogant toe rag is annoying you then I swear-"

"Sev- he's really _not_ that bad he's jus-"

"Why're you defending him? I thought we both agreed on hating him ever since we made the mistake of sitting in the same compartment on the train in first year- we both _agreed!_" Sev cut in suddenly, when he said the last few words there was even more desperation laced in between them than there had previously been. He wasn't the only one shocked at what I'd just said, I was stunned.

I hissed insults inwardly at my mouth, _what a traitorous thing it turned out to be!_ I didn't even think, I didn't remember how obnoxious Potter could be; I just remembered his stupid, goofy smile and rushed to his defense. I was furious with myself, Sev hated James and he had good reason. It was almost like I'd betrayed him by letting those words carelessly tumble from my lips.

"Sev, you know I don't exactly like him- I-I just thought I'd give him a fair chance is all," I said, digging my heels into the ground to stop the swing and turning an anxious face in his direction. I wanted desperately to mend the rip I'd made by saying those words. Sev looked back at me, his bright black eyes, filled with something I hadn't seen before, examined my own.

"You didn't say 'hate'."

His voice was so quiet I barely heard him.

"Well- I don't feel right saying I 'hate' someone anymore…" I bit my lip nervously as I said that, hoping like mad he understood.

"You always said you couldn't stand the way he treated people."

"I didn't say I accepted that about him, I-I've just decided that I'll give him a chance, everyone deserves a chance don't they? I-I haven't given him one…so…" I trailed off, furrowing my brow. The words turned into cowards in my throat and fled back to my voice box in terror. I couldn't continue. I didn't trust myself.

What if I admitted to not actually hating James all that much anymore? I absolutely detested the way he treated others, hexing people because he could, changing from perfectly decent to a total jerk in less than seconds and messing up his hair on _purpose_.

It all irritated me and grated on my nerves.

But I was beginning to see small tendencies and habits that turned him into a completely different person. Thinking of them practically made my heart giggle and fill with warmth. Some of them were so childish! He always pushes his glasses up his nose and digs his hands into his pockets when he gets nervous. His eyes would always light up when he laughed, like not only was he physically laughing but his heart was too. His smiles were never forced or fake. He would always refuse to eat some types of food at lunch no matter how many times Remus Lupin told him they were good for him, he would pout slightly and glower at his plate.

I couldn't help it- I noticed it all. I was horrified at myself for knowing so much. But beneath all my feelings of stunned disbelief, my heart was giggling and a warm fuzzy feeling snaked into its center at the mention of James' habits. I didn't know what to do with this intruding emotion, so I stuffed it into the deepest, darkest corner of my brain. It would stay there forever if I could help it.

A tense silence greeted my words, I kept my eyes on Sev, he looked down at the ground, a shadow falling over his face. His mouth was set into a straight line and I could see his forehead crease severely.

"Sev…" I hopped off the swing and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't protest.

"You've said yes then? To going on a date with _him_," his voice was shaky, but when he looked up into my face his expression was completely composed and normal, albeit a bit strained. I knew something was eating at his insides and that it was the cause of his tense face. But no matter how I tried I couldn't comprehend why he wasn't something other than 'OK'.

"Of course not! I didn't mean _that_ sort of chance!" I cried, my eyes widening at the very suggestion. Relief suddenly enveloped his straining features and I felt myself let out a breath of air I hadn't realized I was holding in. But just when I thought I'd healed the situation his brow dropped and a questioning expression crossed his features.

"So you're going to try and make friends with him?"

"I don't see why I can't!" I said, getting annoyed now. My rebellious side kicked in as fast as it took for me to answer. Yes, he and James hated each other more than a doxy hates a pixie, and yes James is forever picking on him but both were guilty in that aspect. I didn't see why I couldn't try and make a truce between the two, even if that was just wishful thinking. I didn't want to explain myself; I was suddenly so confused and unsure. It must have shown on my face because Sev's expression softened.

"Sorry Lily, I didn't mean to let Potter get to me; even the thought of him annoys me."

"I know, its ok Sev."

"If you say so Lily, look lets just go for a walk, would that be ok?"

"Yeah, that's fine," I let a smile slip onto my face; I needed to focus on something else.

_Anything_ else.

* * *

><p>I calmed down considerably after my walk with Sev and it seemed to have the same affect on him. I got home just as the sun was setting. Petunia was onto me as fast as it took to close the door and open my mouth to announce my arrival.<p>

"I _swear_ Lily if he saw you-"

"I didn't see Vernon Petunia, I have no _interest _in Vernon and I couldn't care less what goes on between you two so you might as well _drop_ it."

I wasn't in the mood. I was serene after the walk I'd taken with Sev, our previous conversation buried at the back of both our minds during that time. We managed to enjoy ourselves like we usually did together because of that. But I just wasn't in the mood to deal with Petunia.

I pushed past her, ignored my mother's call for me to come to dinner and rushed to the safety of my room. I promptly threw myself onto my bed and buried my face in my cool, soft pillow.

Why was I so confused? I didn't even know what I was so muddled up about. My relationship with Sev used to come so easily, it was almost like breathing once we got used to each other. I blamed the day he got into Slytherin, I blamed Malfoy and all his stupid cronies like Lestrange and Bellatrix Black. They were the reason Sev was turning into a polar ice cap, he wasn't distancing himself on purpose from me, I knew that much.

It was probably also my fault. I would never regret getting into Gryffindor but ever since I did, I began to think differently. It was like my whole process of thought was turned back-to-front and inside out. I suddenly ached to see Willa and ask advice. She always had all sorts of approaches to things; she had different angles and opinions on every tiny situation. But then she definitely _didn't_ like Sev.

Whenever she saw him in the hallway she would dodge behind me and whisper dramatically "The warlock with the hairy heart approaches!" My other two dorm mates weren't too bad either; they're quite nice although they giggle constantly and squeal whenever Sirius Black is mentioned.

Maybe _that's_ why Willa gets on with them so well, even though she rolls her eyes at them. Estelle Flourish and Violet Patil are probably the best people to see if you need to talk about something pointless. They'll turn it into something that makes you giggle so much your sides hurt. And Alice Prewett is also a very good friend, its nice having her sanity in the dormitory amongst the chaos that is Willa and the other two.

For the first time in my entire life I felt alone struggling in the dark, groping for a hand I couldn't see, hoping and dreaming it was Sev's…or _James's_. What? I sat up suddenly, why did I just think of James? I hugged my legs to my chest and squeezed my eyes shut. I let my mind go blank.

Just as I was beginning to come to grips with myself there was a timid tapping at the window. I glanced up and felt a smile transform my stricken face. Aster ruffled her wings and focused her large, calm eyes on me, hooting softly behind the glass. I jumped to my feet and threw the window wide. Aster flapped into the room and perched on my desk chair. Upon seeing my expression of deep confusion through the window she hooted again gently, like she was trying to reassure my troubled mind. It was enough.

I stroked her tawny brown head, feeling myself being tugged away from sadness and returning to my normal self with one swift movement. She held her leg out and hooted again as if saying; "this will definitely make you feel better." And like when a child accepts a kiss and a hug from an adult on the promise that the affection will heal them, I untied the envelope.

_Lily flower!_

_Please tell me your sister isn't making you feel like wilting already? I know I'm writing sooner than usual seeing as I just saw you yesterday at Kings cross but I had some free time while I waited for Ted to magically shut my trunk. By that I mean I made him sit on it because it was so full and also to irritate him. He's much bigger than me anyway- plus he was visiting, him and his wife- Andromeda. She's lovely and so is my little niece. Her hair keeps changing colors when she giggles and her little hands are always tugging on Teddy's hair. _

_It's quite annoying when he shows off about being able to use magic, he's been doing it for so long, yet it still gets to me._

_I thought some manual labor would do him good. But boy did he grumble! He's a married man, I expected him to be mature about it. _

_What a useless brother he turned out to be, he can't even follow his younger sister's orders without complaining. Oh-snap-my-wand he just saw what I wrote. Well that just proves what a terrible brother he can be, peeping over his sister's shoulder! _

_Anyway, I miss you loads already and I just had a suspicion you would need guidance this summer._

_What you're thinking about James Potter isn't something you should be worried about. Just go with it. Don't stress your pretty little head, Ok?_

_~Willow Tonks,_

_A.K.A Willa._

I stared at the envelope in disbelief. That girl was scary sometimes.

* * *

><p>You know the sneezing thing? With James at the beginning? It may have sounded like a random thing to throw into a sentence, but it's something else altogether ^_^ they have it a lot in manga. The superstition goes that if someone sneezes and they're not sick- it means someones talking about them...<p>

Until the next chapter!

P.S Thanks to everyone who has favorited this story and put it on alert, I'm very _very_ grateful!

P.P.S OHHHHHH SNAP! I completely got Ted's age _wrong _the first time round- it has now been edited so the letter has been changed and it is all correct now.


	4. Chapter 4: Stalkers beware

Well here's chapter four, I feel so proud of myself and I'm not even that far into the story, all well! I'm not going bore you with my ramblings and I think its_ very_ obvious I don't own Harry Potter (you can even check my closet to see if I've stashed him away somewhere, I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE!)

P.S The changes in the previous chapter follow through here, I'm sorry if it's confusing, but it's all been corrected by these changes and keeps the story Canon.

On with the glorious glorious story! Golly.

* * *

><p>The summer went by in a blur of homework, sunshine, cruel hisses and fewer meetings with Sev than I bargained for. All in all it was a droning, colorless summer. I was beyond relieved when it was less than a week before I could hop onto the scarlet Hogwarts express and escape the gray cloud that shrouded the life I lead in the muggle world. Of course it was wonderful to be near my parents, and it was <em>always<em> delightful to listen to Petunia hiss at me like an angry cat and purr sickeningly whenever the post was delivered by the Walrus Vernon.

Actually, I could live without the last two parts, no problem.

I _definitely_ couldn't wait to be back in my four-poster at Hogwarts, back with all my dorm mates and Willa. Back where I belonged. Even though I was born into the muggle world I felt like a mismatched puzzle piece among everyone else, my neighbors, people I passed on the street, I didn't fit anywhere except in the wizarding world. I could get comfortable in muggle surroundings but I would never truly feel satisfied with them.

I was so eager to get back to Hogwarts that I even missed peeves. I even missed _Potter_.

James, why was it that even the thought of him made confusion explode suddenly in my mind? I didn't know where I stood with him anymore with my sudden and almost unfair change of heart. My heart was never considerate these days. I didn't know where I was with Sev either. It was like I was on a shifting staircase at Hogwarts. I would jerk and move about, spinning and drifting in all directions.

I finished all my homework within the first week and was left in a lazy stupor, answering letters sent to me from my dorm mates and Alice. Willa wrote the most letters though, so I knew almost every minute of her holiday as well as she did.

I went for walks with my dad and helped him in the garden. He would always want every single detail of my year, laughing at all the right moments and praising me when it was needed. He was good that way, kind and considerate as always. I went grocery shopping with my mum, helping her pick out watermelons that didn't look dry and shriveled up like giant raisins or the bezoars we were shown in potions class. I packed away all the frozens into the refrigerator before the popsicles melted afterwards and that was my good deed for the day.

In some ways it was peaceful. But I craved the bustling beehive that was Hogwarts, full of activity and bursting at the seams with life.

"Lily! We're leaving now, hurry up dear!" called my mother from downstairs, her voice shocked me from my thoughts.

"C-coming!" I answered, hastily pulling a brush through my stubborn hair and pulling it into a loose ponytail. I flew through the hallway and pretty much jumped three stairs at a time to reach the door. My mother stood there shaking her head and hiding a smile.

"We don't want to keep your friend waiting now do we Lily?" she said, digging through her purse to find the car keys.

"Willa said she'd wait in the Leaky Cauldron mom," I answered her briskly, purposely ignoring her statement. My mother grinned, extracting the car keys from her pocket and jangling them in front of my face.

"Found em'."

"Is Petunia and Dad coming?" I asked as I opened the door and made for the car.

"No, Petunia pulled the most unattractive face when I asked if she wanted to come and your father went in to the office to finish off some paperwork, you know how he is, so forgetful," she said from behind me.

I smiled as I slipped into the car seat, my father was _very_ forgetful. He has trouble remembering names and faces; I swear he mixed me and Petunia up more than once when we were young. The car was comfortably silent after that, apart from a few questions from my mother about how school was. Both my parents were always shamelessly interested in the wizarding world and I was very proud of them for it. The trip to the leaky cauldron didn't go fast enough in my opinion. We were finally walking into the dusty dark interior of the Leaky Cauldron when I spotted Willa's familiar explosion of caramel colored curls headed straight for me.

"Hi Lily! I'm so glad you're here! You can tell Ted off for teasing me!" she gushed when she was close enough.

"It's nice to see you too Willa," I answered, very amused. My mother walked over to talk with Willa's parents and I saw Ted detach himself quickly and rush over.

"Whatever she says, she's lying Lily!" He cried pulling Willa under his arm and pinning her to his side. Ted Tonks was tall and stocky, with fair hair, not the exact caramel of Willa's but a wavy mellow color all the same.

"_Hey! _See how he treats me Lily? He's eight years older and he uses the advantage of his miraculous growth spurts over his young, defenseless sister!" she gasped in mock irritation, shooting her brother a good natured glare. I laughed at her words.

"I can't help puberty little sis," He said, releasing her. She rubbed at her arm in feigned annoyance; a small smile curled the corners of her lips upward.

"Yes, yes, you should leave us girls alone now dearest brother, don't you have a wife to get to? We have much shopping to do and a boy's presence is just not acceptable," she said briskly, coming to my side.

"You're so sexist sis, but if you say so. I guess I'm stuck with the group of parents over there. But I'll gladly get back to Dromeda and Dora," He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder at my mother and Willa's parents, who were all involved in an animated discussion. There were two other people present; one was a willowy woman, with rich curly hair falling past her shoulders. Cradled in her arms was a giggly little baby. She was talking happily with Ted's parents and noticed him gesturing her way. She beamed and waved the little girl's hand at us.

"I'd love for you to meet her Lily, but I'm afraid my sister is all too intent on getting out of here, yeah?"

"Yes I am, have fun bro!" Willa said with a sweet smile.

She coiled her arm through my own and began dragging me through the dark bar to the back door.

"A-alright Ted, bye! I'll meet up with you later mum!" I called just as I was disappearing through it.

Once we were alone in the small courtyard Willa turned a beaming face in my direction.

"You've been thinking of him haven't you Lily?"

"By 'him' who do you mean?" I asked indifferently as I walked up to the brick wall and tapped the brick that was three up and two across three times.

"Do I _have_ to describe him again? The guy with eyes that could melt ninety chocolate frogs, does he ring a bell?" she prompted with some impatience.

"Oh him, he hasn't crossed my mind," I said with a shrug, feeling my cheeks begin to glow scarlet at my obvious lie. Willa laughed when she spotted my red face. A hole in the brick wall appeared and began to grow larger and larger.

"Oh Lily, you're an awful liar!" She said through her giggles. I just kept silent as I looked at my shoes and felt my warm face with one hand.

Willa smiled knowingly in my direction as we walked into Diagon alley, the sounds and smells twisted through the air, deafening to the ears and nose.

"I wonder if we'll see him, Potter strikes me as a procrastinator he'll probably be here to buy his school things too. It suits him, buying his school supplies three days before the school term starts!" She said sounding utterly delighted. I shot Willa a wide eyed look of terror. _I couldn't see him here!_ I don't know how I should act around him anymore!

Willa grinned at my reaction, looking more eager than ever to go Potter hunting. I had a sudden, vivid image in my mind of Willa chasing James down Diagon alley, swiping at him with a large butterfly net in her dainty fingers. In this image she had a wicked glint in her brown eyes.

I grimaced inwardly to myself; this was going to be a long day and it was barely halfway over.

* * *

><p>"Stand still will you!" scolded Madam Malkin as James took a deep breath. Madam Malkin liked her customers to remain stock still while she pinned their robes in place. James froze immediately, not daring to breathe again. He saw Sirius snicker out of the corner of his eye and felt cheated that he couldn't even shoot him a dirty look, he'd have to turn his head to do so. Sirius tried to look interested in the pre-made dress robes or the many colors of fabric on display while he waited for James but just couldn't pull it off. Instead he leant against the counter looking bored and brain dead.<p>

"I swear you boys grow like _weeds _on engorgement charms! Make my job easier please and stop growing Mr. Potter; you're almost a whole head taller than you were _last_ time!" Madam Malkin said frowning as she carefully stuck a pin in the sturdy black fabric draped over James's shoulder.

"I can't help what my body decides to do! If it decides it would like an improvement then it does it against my will, I'm completely innocent here!" James retorted while Sirius doubled over in silent laughter.

"Yeah, that's a good excuse James! I must remember that excuse

whenever I-"

Madam Malkin shot Sirius a disapproving look that would have charred the fabric piled on the counter if Sirius wasn't in front of it. His mouth clamped shut immediately. James felt the corners of his mouth twitch in amusement. What Sirius had wanted to refer to was definitely not meant for this middle-aged woman's ears. Madam Malkin sniffed haughtily as if saying; that's right, keep your mouth shut.

"You're done," she said dryly as she whipped the robes over James' head and folded them neatly on the counter along with all their other purchases. James tipped some galleons onto the table, not caring if it was too little or too much, Sirius making a small contribution along the way. His dear mother hadn't bothered to throw the family's vault key out with him so he could pay for his school supplies. But then, when did his mother ever act…_motherly? _James and Sirius left the store weighed down with school robes wrapped in brown paper.

"Padfoot, I really don't want to know what you were going to say in there," James said casting a crooked grin in Sirius's direction. Sirius returned this expression with a wolfish upturn of his mouth, a sort of half smile.

"Yeah, lucky I stopped myself; she would never let me back into the store again if I'd finished that sentence!" He answered with a bark like laugh.

Suddenly James saw a flicker of scarlet curls amongst the crowd and twisted his neck to get a better look. Lily was standing in front of Eeylops Owl Emporium looking curiously through the window and talking animatedly with a girl next to her. James was so mesmerized by Lily that he didn't even bother to remember the girl's name. Then as if coming sharply to his senses he dived behind Sirius and attempted to hide behind him.

"Merlin's pants James! What are you doing!" Sirius hissed as James dragged him behind a barrel outside a nearby apothecary. James peeked around the side of the barrel; Sirius followed his friend's entranced gaze and burst into hysterics. His bark like laughter rang through the already noisy air. James whipped around and clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Will you shut up Padfoot!" he whispered, glaring into his friend's amused face. Sirius was trying very hard not to rip James's hand from his mouth so he could continue laughing. It hurt to swallow it down and the situation was just too funny.

"Why are you suddenly so bashful mate, you're never self-conscious around her at school," Sirius gasped when James lowered his hand.

"I don't know ok? Stop asking stupid questions Padfoot!" James said quickly as his whole face flushed red, even his ears. Seeing the color creeping over James's cheeks made Sirius think of those muggle devices they called thermometers. Sirius shrugged as he too peered around the wooden barrel. He immediately jumped back like he'd been burnt.

"_She's_ with Evans! That girl Willa!" he said, his expression unreadable. James guessed it was something along the lines of shock-horror.

"Oh so that's her name. What about her?" James asked. His interest was half-hearted; he only had eyes for Lily.

"She-she well…oh _never mind!_" Sirius said hastily, his tone had an edge of irritation.

"Damn, they're moving, come on Padfoot!" James said hurriedly, springing to his feet and rushing after them. Sirius had a split second to absorb what was said before he jumped up and followed James. They followed them down the cobbled walkway and into Flourish and Blotts, where they crouched behind a teetering pile of thick, leather bound books.

"So, we're stalking them now are we? Fine with me, I need to observe this Willa person, she's too bright for her own good and that could be trouble for us this year," Sirius whispered as his eyes followed her around the store as fixatedly as James's did with Lily. James had no idea why he was acting this way, if Lily saw him spying on her she would definitely think he was a creep.

That was the last thing James wanted, she already avoided him at all costs at school and cold shouldered him whenever possible. After four years he should have been thoroughly discouraged. But he found no matter what she did to him he couldn't stop liking her. Lily Evans was just that type of person, charming and kind. She was like a kitten or chocolate, you just couldn't hate her. That was what James thought at least.

When they left the store Sirius and James followed, this time they went into Gringotts. The two of them decided that they couldn't possibly follow them in there and hid themselves behind a towering marble pillar to wait for them. They peered around the corner hopefully every few seconds and pulled their heads back looked dejected every time.

"_What_ are you two _doing?_" asked a familiar voice from behind them. James and Sirius jumped simultaneously and turned their heads guiltily in the direction of the firm voice. Remus stood behind them, brown paper packages tucked under his arm. His expression was searching and he eyed the two of them suspiciously. It was hard to get anything past Remus.

"N-n-noth-" James began but Sirius cut him off.

"We're stalking Willa and Evans," he said matter-of-factly, shrugging as a sly grin slipped onto his face. James gaped at him.

"Have you no shame Padfoot!"

"Of course, that's why I get all the crazy chicks."

Remus sighed testily.

"You two are incredible you know that? Have you _any _idea how suspicious you two look?"

"Shut up Moony, here they come!" James hissed as he yanked Remus roughly down beside him and Sirius.

"I can't believe you've dragged me into this, don't you have any respect for people's privacy?" he said in hushed, exasperated tones, casting them his signature look. It was a raised eyebrow that plainly displayed his disapproval of anything they did when they received it. They got that expression very often.

"They're heading to Madam Malkin's store Prongs," Sirius pointed out to James, totally ignoring Remus. Remus simply shook his head, a small smile sneaking onto his features, he was_ very_ amused. James and Sirius sprung to their feet and wove between the thronging crowd of shoppers, Remus on their heels.

"This is just sad," He said when he was within ear shot. James and Sirius shushed him and hid behind a rack of robes. _This can't end well._ Remus thought to himself as he crouched down next to them. Both seemed captivated by their subjects. It was something Remus found both creepy and admirable.

"Well I haven't actually had my new robes fitted, Madam Malkin always gives me a fair price for some reason, so I'll just-" Remus made to stand up but was pulled roughly back into a crouching position by James, who shot him a burning look behind his glasses.

"You'll give us away!" he hissed. Remus cast him a blank look.

"I'm not spying on them though, that's all you not me…" He said, tilting his head to the side ponderously. Sirius snickered.

"He has a point mate!"

"Hmmm, he really does doesn't he?" said a female voice coolly from behind them. All three of them froze stock still like statues. They turned their heads stiffly towards the voice. They all gaped in horror as they looked up into the newcomer's, sweetly smiling face.

"If you three aren't careful your faces will freeze like that," she said as she scanned the three boys in front of her, each looking like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car. Each was frozen like sculptures, all gaping like dimwits and in James's case, flushing guiltily. She especially enjoyed the expression on Sirius's face. Since everyone but her seemed incapable of speech in that moment of time, Willa decided to not only break the ice but to smash it into tiny shards.

"So why are you lot spying on us?" she said curiously, cocking her pretty head to the side, looking the picture of innocence. Her voice was sweet but there was a dangerous undertone. Willa did not believe in beating around the bush, she was always straightforward and blunt. Nearly Headless Nick, the Griffindor ghost at Hogwarts, always said that she was as blunt as the axe that had failed to part his head properly from his shoulders. It was at this time that Remus realized he was more involved in the situation that he had thought himself to be.

"Well? Are you just going to gawk at me or should I bring Lily over to coax it out of you?" she said threateningly, placing her hands on her hips and raising a slender eyebrow. From where the three of them were crouching she looked very intimidating. _Well, as intimidating as someone with her looks could be._ Sirius thought slyly to himself.

"Well its kind of obvious that we're spying, isn't it love?" Sirius said suddenly, he seemed to be getting over the first shock of being caught in the act. He was returning to his usually arrogant self, a wolfish grin transformed his face as he got used to her presence. Willa smiled so sweetly in his direction that Sirius could practically feel the sugar rush at

the back of his skull. Remus also seemed to be composing himself slowly

but he still looked very awkward. James snapped out of his horrified trance at the mention of Lily. He cast Willa a badly disguised look of worry at her threat. She giggled under his anxious gaze.

"Don't worry James; she never noticed you and I won't get her now. She's getting fitted; she thinks I'm looking at dress robes. But next time you stalk us please be less noisy, it's like you boys don't know how to whisper," she said cheerfully in answer to all of his unasked questions.

"So you don't mind being stalked?" Sirius asked with a bark of laughter.

"Special circumstances seemed to have made me enjoy it," She answered, her eyes sparkling mischievously. Remus cleared his throat from beside James.

"What makes you think there will be a next time?" he asked, giving her a searching look. Remus was always gathering information; he was rational with a curiosity that seemed to never be satisfied. She cast him a small smile of knowing and superiority.

"Oh, I know there will be lots of next times if James is given the chance."

James stuttered a string of words that seemed to have blended together as his face mimicked a thermometer, much to Sirius's amusement. Willa seemed to enjoy their discomfort.

"Anyway, I'll distract Lily so you can make a clean getaway," she said airily, as she curled a strand of honey colored hair around her forefinger absent mindedly. Sirius noted she still looked sweetly innocent with her bright brown doe eyes and non-threatening appearance. He was learning quite fast she was anything but. James and Remus seemed to have caught onto her act as well and were looking at her in a sort of impressed reverence.

"Why are you helping us? Not that it's not appreciated or anything," asked James, shooting her a curious look and adding the last part hastily.

Her eyes seemed to gleam deviously as she examined their three questioning faces, as if weighing her options.

"Oh, there's definitely a catch," she answered silkily. Sirius looked caught between being impressed and irritated at her superior air. Remus looked politely grateful while James looked full on relieved.

"Wait- what 'catch'?" He asked suddenly, his relief changing back to suspicion. Willa just giggled and waved her hand dismissively. There was something ominous about the way that she laughed that made the group of boys shudder. Sirius looked acutely impressed now; a flicker of amusement flashed across his expression.

"You'll know when I want you to know, anyway next time I catch you three snooping on us I won't be so merciful, Lily will get involved," she said in a charming sing song voice.

"How in Merlin's name did you not get into Slytherin?" muttered James under his breath grudgingly. Another enchanting smile graced her face.

"I'm as surprised as you are- too bad I'm not a pureblood psychopath. That and I'm muggleborn," she answered cheerfully. Sirius's expression instantly changed into one of complete bliss and approval at her words. James cast him a questioning look. Sometimes he just couldn't understand his best friend at all.

"You don't strike me as a Slytherin," Remus said suddenly.

"Of course, I've got the wits and the cunning but I can't _stand_ the prejudice, I hate it. I'd rather poke a wand in my eye before I become a Slytherin," She said with a shrug. Sirius looked quietly delighted; it was such a discreet happiness that it seemed only James could notice it.

"Well I'm off to distract Lily; I can guarantee you half a minute. I don't make a habit of lying to her after all." And with that she brushed past the group with the calm and grace of a dancer. James had to nudge Sirius very hard in the ribs to make him stop staring.

All three of them peered around the rack of robes and waited for some sort of signal to make a run for it. Willa was standing next to Lily talking animatedly and pointing to some robes at the back of the store, her one of her hands was behind her back.

James found he was holding his breath with the building suspense; he really just wanted to get out of there. Suddenly she began flicking her hand frantically towards the door and they took that as the green light they'd been waiting for. They scrambled as quickly and silently as they possibly could out of the door, doubled over and frantic. Remus bumped into a pile of fabric and almost tripped himself up.

Once they were outside they bolted down the cobbled walkway, dodging between shoppers and keeping within a reasonable distance of each other. They stopped when they were just outside Ollivanders. James leant against the doorframe and attempted to catch his breath, Sirius and Remus were both bent over and panting.

"Well she's going to be trouble," James said suddenly when he'd regained control of his lungs.

"Definitely, we'll have to be extra discreet around her, we've worked too hard to stop progressing," Sirius said with a shaky gasp.

Remus remained silent as he looked at his friends, feeling both enormous guilt and warmth for the two of them. They would never know how grateful he was to them.

"Evans is also really observant so we have to be very careful to cover our tracks when the transfiguration is complete," James said as he straightened up and cast an affectionate glance at the wand shop he had been leaning on.

"Yeah, but we would have anyway we've never been caught yet," Sirius added with a smirk.

"How about all those times Filch caught us coming back from the restricted section?" Remus pointed out with an amused smile.

"Oh Moony nothing gets past you, you've really bruised our ego's there!" Sirius said with a bark like laugh. Remus just grinned triumphantly.

James had a feeling that fifth year was going to be a big one.

Especially when he thought of their plans.

"How many school rules are we breaking again Moony?" He asked folding his arms and leaning against the display window, an arrogant smirk playing on his lips.

"About thirty…oh and expulsion," Remus answered matter-of-factly, he couldn't help but feel slightly alive, it was obviously James' confidence, it was very catching. Sirius smirked wolfishly in appreciation.

"Perfect."

* * *

><p>Well, I think its progressing nicely! Anyhoo I just really want to thank everyone who has favorited this story and put it on alert and all that other touching and awesome stuff! THANK YOU! Reviews are welcome but really I am very grateful already to the people who just take time to read this!<p>

There might be a slight delay in chapter five (I need to just put the rest of the story in order in my mind!)

But it will be comming out soon! (what? I'm on a roll and I'm going to finish this fanfiction if it KILLS me!)


	5. Chapter 5: Just some harmless humor

Not much to say except on with the story and its obvious I'm just playing in the great world of Harry Potter :D

WAIT! I do have something to say! Oddment, blubber and tweak! (gotta love Dumbledore.)

* * *

><p>I was glad that I hadn't seen even a glimpse of James Potter down Diagon alley. I was glad and that was what I was telling that stupid pang of disappointment in my stomach. Willa came out of Madam Malkin's even more cheerful than when she'd gone in, she was practically glowing. I knew that sort of joy by now. It was a triumphant happiness, a joy that Willa only got when she managed to either get revenge on someone or freak them out.<p>

She has a very eccentric personality if you ask me, but I guess that's why we get along so well, she never fazes me. She could easily intimidate Estelle and Violet, but not me; I'm wise to her lies. After four years of friendship I should be, Alice never takes her seriously either. The trip to Diagon alley was extremely relaxing; I had fun looking at Eeylops Owl Emporium and the joke shops. We bumped into Ted and his budding Family at Florean Fortesque's Ice Cream Parlor; Florean was there in a flash; he always gave me free ice cream sundaes for some reason. Willa would tease that he fancied me, but of course that's as creepy as suggesting that my father was good looking for his age- which she has.

Needless to say we both went home with stomachs full of toffee ripple and nuts. My mother wasn't hard to locate, she was talking animatedly with Tom the bartender when we got back into the leaky cauldron. She was asking all sorts of questions about the Wizarding world and Tom looked all too pleased to answer, he seemed to feel rather chuffed with himself.

When I got home I made sure to scan for any sign of Petunia waiting in the hallway, ready to pounce as soon as I opened the door and begin to hiss as many insults as possible. She had missed out on a lot of berating time this summer after all. When the coast was clear I fled up the stairs, called a breathless thank you to my mother as she closed the door behind me, and threw myself onto my bed in a happy daze.

Aster was sitting obediently on her cage's perch, the barred door open as always. She flapped to the wooden head of my bed and sat there elegantly, looking down at me with a welcoming hoot. I looked up at her with a grin and I could have sworn she smiled back with her big kind eyes.

How could I not be happy?

Two more days and then I'd be off-back to Hogwarts. Sure I'd miss my parents, and maybe even Petunia (I suspected her coldness was born out of affection) but every year at Hogwarts was an adventure, a new year meant a new story I could tell when I came home.

I enjoyed both the experience and the tale I could spin from it.

* * *

><p>"<em>Mum!<em> Cut-cut it out! Seriously!" James said as he jerked away from his mother's lips. She got like this every year when James was all set to get onto the Hogwarts express. He wished she would have some decency and do it when all his peers weren't watching.

"Come on James, I hardly ever get to kiss you goodbye anymore!" She frowned, her brow creasing and tears collecting in her warm, honey colored eyes. James gave an exasperated sigh. His parents had been rather emotional recently. They seemed to have got it into their heads that he was very close to coming of age. His mother had reacted badly to this news, pouring over his baby pictures and shooting him looks of bemusement, probably wondering where baby James went.

"Mum! I haven't let you kiss me since first year! And even that was under protest!" James answered as he dodged her arms and scampered behind Sirius, who stepped to the side smirking in amusement. James shot him a burning glare. Sirius put up his hands in mock defeat.

Mrs. Potter was just as fast as her son. She managed to swoop forward and plant a kiss on his forehead looking triumphant.

Mr. Potter just chuckled heartily and shook his head. James scowled and rubbed his face moodily. This seemed to make Mrs. Potter even more pleased with herself.

Sirius laughed so hard that he was very nearly doubled over in stitches- that is until Mrs. Potter gave him a suffocating hug and planted a kiss on his cheek. Sirius looked stunned and stiff as a board. He seemed to have swallowed his laughter and it was now lodged in his throat. James smirked and folded his arms. He knew that Sirius was not used to such acts of raw motherly love and that his facial expression would be frozen like that until some normality returned to his world.

Mrs. Potter then went on to blow heavily into a lacy handkerchief and blubber, leaving Mr. Potter to say the formalities that always accompanied leaving for Hogwarts.

"Now you two behave yourselves, I don't want to be drowning in owls from school again this year, I've gotten so many letters from Professor McGonagall that we're basically _pen pals_," He said, putting an arm around his emotional wife and attempting to eye the two boys in front of him in an intimidating way. James just shrugged, his eyes gleaming mischievously. His father knew very well what that meant coming from his son; "I hold no promises". Sirius still looked like he'd been kicked in the stomach by a Hippogriff's hind legs.

A whistle blew somewhere and the throbbing crowd became even more noisy and frantic as parents called hurried goodbyes and reassurances. The noise seemed to mold together to create a loud buzz of voices, steam from the trained floated over the crowd as students hurriedly shook off their parents.

"Well I'll see you two soon then, bye mum, later pops!" James said when the shrill train whistle met his ears; he grabbed his trunk and Sirius's sleeve and proceeded to pull both into the scarlet train after him.

He heard the last few sentences of his Father's unfinished speech and his mother's call of goodbye as she blew her nose nosily. He rushed to a window and waved to his parents, just an extra precaution in case his mother burst into even more tears; he hoped secretly that that would reassure her a bit. Sirius blinked and seemed to come back to reality as the train jerked and chugged into life with a loud scratchy hum and shrill whistle. James joined him and his trunk smiling widely.

"Well mate, the year begins, now where do you think Evan- I mean Moony is at?"

Sirius smirked.

When was James' mind on anything but Evans?

* * *

><p>There was a loud burst of fire and smoke billowed into the compartment punctured by a surprised squeal and sudden laughter.<p>

"Sorry Alice!" I gasped as the black smog cleared and the window was visible again displaying rolling fields and blurred hills. Alice was holding the playing card, her cheeks stained with black dust, looking both shocked and amused.

"Its ok Lily, it is exploding snap after all," laughed Willa in answer to my apology. I rifled in my pockets and drew out a crumpled handkerchief and handed it over to Alice, who took it gratefully from my outstretched hand. Willa watched me with some bemusement, folding her arms and raising one slender eyebrow.

"You know Lil; you're way too nice for your own good," She stated after scrutinizing me closely for half a minute.

"And _how_ is that a bad thing?" I asked bristling like an angry cat and collecting up the cards into a neat pile.

"You're a prefect; you have to be _ruthless!_" Willa said, making the word "ruthless" a ferocious growl. I laughed and waved this comment away.

"Its OK to be nice isn't it?" Alice asked as she folded the now blackened handkerchief into a neat square and tucked it into her pocket. Willa pursed her lips and pretended to consider.

"Nope, people walk all over you," Willa said finally.

"People don't walk all over Lily though," Alice countered promptly.

"Alice dear you have much to learn about the world," Willa answered with a superior smile. Alice just cast her a look of confusion, but behind her furrowed brow I knew her brain was running through possibilities. Alice was much sharper than she let on.

"So, who else is a prefect this year Lil?" Willa went on, turning the conversation back onto me.

"Remus Lupin," I answered, surprised she hadn't guessed already for herself.

"I thought as much!" Willa said in triumph as she took off her shoes and folded her legs on the seat that she had to herself.

"Maybe Dumbledore thought that making him a Prefect would help him exercise some control on Black and Potter?" Alice said ponderingly.

Willa nodded in agreement, looking impressed. Now this is why Alice was accepted instantly by Willa, the two of them together was a scary match. Both had powers of deduction that could rival Sherlock Holmes. I shudder to think of all the evil they could use that power for; I never could hide anything from them. It was _very_ irritating.

I rolled my eyes.

"Like that'd happen, those two are already as uncontrollable as a pair of wild bowtruckles."

Willa snorted with laughter.

"When you said that I could just mentally see the two of them wearing fairy costumes!"

"How did you get that from the word; 'bowtruckle'?" asked Alice, trying and failing to swallow her giggles from the image that Willa put in her head. Willa shrugged as she giggled uncontrollably. I couldn't help but laugh along at how ridiculous James would look wearing a tutu and throwing glitter at passers by.

"Wow, is this what girls talk about? We should have started eavesdropping sooner James," said a smug drawl as our compartment door slid open.

"I don't know Sirius, should being compared to bowtruckles be taken as a compliment?" James asked, a smirk playing on his lips. Alice stopped laughing immediately. Willa however did nothing to stop her hysterical giggling. I shot to my feet, glaring at the both of them.

"Have you no consideration for anyone's privacy?" I asked my eyes flashing dangerously. Sirius nudged James looking amused.

"Hey she sounds just like Moony!"

James nodded stiffly in agreement. I turned my glare onto him, challenging him to a silent mental battle. To my frustration he answered my venomous glare with a crooked grin.

"Yeah, but Moony isn't half as appealing," James said. Sirius gave a bark of laughter at his words. I don't think my glare could get anymore murderous. I bent down and picked up one of Willa's shoes and threw it at the two of them, Sirius seemed to have spotted this danger faster than what was humanly possible and quickly slammed the door shut. The shoe hit the glass and fell to the floor with a depressing thud.

"We'll take that as a polite 'get lost'," said James's voice from behind the compartment door pleasurably.

"So? What are you waiting for!" I said, returning to my seat and seething silently. So much for trying to become "_friends_" with James Potter. I guess it's too heavily ingrained in my mind to act aggressive around him. And I really wanted to act civil too, but then if I was going to become less cruel around him shouldn't he compensate by being less obnoxious?

"For the record I totally called that," Alice said, trying to hide her amusement. Willa laughed and put her shoes back on after rescuing the left one from the floor.

"Lil, I thought we'd gotten past all this 'aggressive female' stuff?"

I huffed and folded my arms.

"I don't know, I guess I just wasn't trying to be civil this time round."

Alice let a small laugh escape her lips.

"You can say that again Lily."

I sighed.

* * *

><p>"That went well," Sirius said as he dragged James away from the compartment's door, he seemed very against leaving.<p>

"Yeah sure, the girl of your dreams starts throwing footwear at you! That's just wonderful Padfoot! _Just peachy!_" James retorted, sounding both crushed and hysterical. Sirius gave a booming laugh at his words.

"Oh so you think it's funny do you?" James huffed. Sirius clapped a hand onto James's shoulder grinning wolfishly.

"Only because it is, it's not everyday that you get assaulted by a shoe."

James couldn't help but laugh.

"Besides it's not the strangest thing I've had thrown at me- my mother once threw a cursed sauce pan at me; it wouldn't stop trying to crack me over the head. I had to walk around with a pillow strapped around my skull for five days straight. It was _horrible_ for my hair."

James burst into a chorus of loud laughter, he was laughing so hard that tears sprang to his eyes. People in the compartments near them poked their heads out to curiously observe them.

"_What?_" Sirius asked in mock indignation.

"M-Merlin's beard Padfoot! Only you'd care about your _hair_ when you're getting bashed over the head with a saucepan repeatedly!" gasped James, trying hard to swallow his laughter. Sirius grinned and ran his fingers through his shaggy black hair as if emphasizing an unspoken point. A girl who was peering around the door of her compartment didn't even bother to hide her fluttery giggles when she saw that.

"Well after a while I sort of got numb," Sirius said with a shrug.

"At least we know who to blame for those blank, vacant looks you get sometimes." James said with a smirk.

"You can say that again James."

"Hey, there's no need to gang up on me I'm sensitive!" Sirius said, turning to where Remus was standing, having just sought them out moments ago. Remus just grinned and folded his arms, a shiny prefect badge gleaming on his chest.

"Is this whole 'popping out of the blue' thing going to become a regular habit of yours Moony?" James asked with a questioning smirk.

"I was patrolling the train, it's what I'm supposed to do," Remus said with a shrug.

"Always the studious little wolf, aren't you Moony?" Sirius whispered so that only James and Remus could hear, folding his arms with his signature wolfish half-smile playing on his lips. Remus shot him an exasperated look, but the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement.

"Now now Padfoot, you and I both know it's only a furry little problem, nothing we can't handle, right Moony?" James said, his eyes flashing deviously.

"If we do everything right, then I suppose so…" Remus answered.

He had spent the best of two years fighting these two, trying to steer them away from their plans, even if they were for his benefit. He tried persuading them at first by telling them he was perfectly fine on his own, playing down the obvious pain of transforming by acting as normal as he possibly could the next day. This proved to be too difficult, he passed out in his second lesson of the day because of the strain he was putting on himself. This didn't help his point at all and only made Sirius angry at him for doing something that stupid. He usually spent the day after the full moon recuperating in the infirmary, but he somehow managed to avoid Madam Pomfrey in his attempt to persuade them to not undertake such a risky endeavor.

That stunt just seemed to make them dig their heels in even more. His second attempt at making them abandon their plan was by showing them gruesome pictures of fake side effects. Peter practically peed his pants from horror; Sirius just laughed and seemed very intrigued by the detailed sketches. But when he showed James one particularly foul side effect he just shrugged, seeming to become more determined than ever.

Remus came to the conclusion that they were all stark raving mad. What if he hurt them? What if he _bit _one of them and contaminated them too? He wouldn't be able to live with himself; the guilt would eat at his insides until the day he died. His worst fear was endangering the ones he cared for; his anxiety for his friends would plague him through his sleep in the form of nightmares and hunt him relentlessly through the day. But no matter what, James just became more and more resolute on his plan.

He would do it no matter what Remus said or did.

He would stubbornly persist, reading mountains of books the size of paving slabs, practicing and memorizing every last detail to the letter, Sirius following determinedly in his wake, devouring every last piece of knowledge he could. Remus watched in amazement as his friends, who barely ever picked up a book, read through half the restricted section for him. A part of him was desperately glad and soaring with relief that he would never have to go through it all alone ever again.

James grinned at Remus when they reached their compartment, shocking him from his thoughts.

"We'll get it right, there's no way I'm giving up," James said with a wink, an arrogant smirk playing on his lips.

How could Remus ever begin to describe how grateful (and full of guilt) he was?

* * *

><p>After breakfast the first day at school each and every fifth year was held back and given their time tables for that year. I got a warm smile from Professor McGonagall as she handed me my timetable but I saw her expression change immediately when she moved on to do the same for James.<p>

"I hope you take your studies seriously this year Mr. Potter, this is O.W.L year and I _sincerely_ hope that you put your talents to good use," She said as she placed his timetable in front of him with a brisk flourish. James grinned.

"Of course Professor, I have big plans for my _talents_ this year."

Professor McGonagall eyed him suspiciously; by now she sensed rule breaking before it even happened when it came to James Potter and his friends.

"_Of _course, by that he means trying out for the Griffindor team as usual Professor," Remus said, his composure was impeccable, but Lily noticed that his air was tense. He had practically tripped over himself to explain James' words, like he was covering up an unspoken secret that was not meant to even be _implied_. James shot Remus a look of apology so quick that I barely caught the turn of his head before the conversation was flowing again.

"Certainly, I expect to see James as Chaser or Seeker like he usually is, he _has_ helped the team enormously after all…"

Professor McGonagall trailed off as she handed Sirius Black his timetable and continued down the table, casting the group of boys' a curious glance every few students.

I raised an eyebrow in James's direction, his head turned absent mindedly my way and his eyes locked with mine. His gaze was probing and alert, as he studied me closely I did the same to him. Was that boy's hair _ever_ neat? I had to stifle a laugh at the answer my mind supplied, a sly grin slid onto his face when he saw the quick, tell tale smile flash across my face, as I swallowed my sudden laughter. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, I shot to my feet, startling a chatting Alice that was sitting just next to me.

I made a hasty excuse about leaving some ink up in my dormitory before racing off. I almost walked through the fat Friar in my haste as I sped up the marble staircase before remembering I had all the ink I needed. I was so flustered that I had begun to believe my lie. I heaved a deep sigh and turned on my heel to head to my first class of the day- potions. I was among the first to arrive, pleasing Professor Slughorn considerably. I sat with Estelle and Willa, sinking low in my seat to avoid being spotted by Potter.

I tried to focus only on the bubbling of my cauldron, and how ineffective it would be for me to stir the potion only twice in a clock-wise direction. It was a thick mixture and could do with a couple vigorous stirs anti-clockwise. I soon drifted off into my usual routines. It was nice to be back at Hogwarts, every Professor never lost a chance to bury us alive with essays, Peeves was still terrorizing first years and Potter was still an arrogant jerk.

It was nice to see some things hadn't changed.

* * *

><p>Phew, that was chapter 5! I apologize if it seems a bit boring, I'm getting to some interesting bits, just bear with me! I should have chapter 6 out soon (three days, count on it!)<p>

OH and again I'd like to thank those of you who have reviewed and put this story on favorites or anything like that, I really appreciate it! Thank you MiuHana and QuidditchSeekerGal12 for the awesome (and useful) reviews :D

P.S I will be doing a time jump next chapter, so don't be alarmed, it needs to be done, its near Christmas at Hogwarts after this, in Lily's fifth year still.


	6. Chapter 6: Observation and sucess

Blah blah blah, Harry potter doesn't belong to me, blah blah, all credit goes to J.K Rowling, blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. (I'm running out of ideas of how to do this originally and I'm only up to the sixth chapter! That's just sad...)

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last few chapters! (lightningscarpotter and roflshvakomail :D) for the really encouraging comments!

ON WITH THE (decidedly short) CHAPTER!

* * *

><p>In the end, despite my resolve at 'making nice' with Potter, I didn't go farther than handing him a steel bucket in Herbology and warning him not to trip on the sprouting venomous tentacula's feelers. I realized I couldn't act any different around James at all, not when he was still hexing everything that moved.<p>

He _never_ lost out on a chance to jinx Sev in the hallways.

"Lily, your sleeve is in your ink well," Willa said lazily, shocking me out of my thoughts. I blinked and took a few moments to remember what I was doing. I looked down at a smudged essay on the behavior patterns of fire crabs and everything snapped into focus again. I pushed it away from me, blowing at a lock of hair that had fallen over my eyes irritably. Willa smirked and leant back against the arm chair.

"What were you thinking about Lil? Wait don't tell me! I think I can guess!" She said, still smiling smugly. I shot her a wary glare but didn't protest. The common room was buzzing with fifth years completing mountains of homework with no sign of turning in any time soon. The sky outside the tall, foggy window was studded with stars; the moon was full and cast an eerie silver light over the snow covered grounds. Willa pretended to ponder her answer.

"You were thinking about Ja-"

"Why should I be thinking about Potter Willa?" I asked as I sunk onto the low table, resting my head on my arms and watching her drowsily. She was starting to irritate me.

She sighed shortly and folded her arms. When she spoke next her voice had an irritated edge.

"_Because_, you said you wanted to try and be less cold around him. So far _zilch _improvement, but the boy still fancies you so there's time yet."

I let my eyes drift shut, waves of exhaustion washing over me; it was so tempting just to pass out then and there, on the coffee table. Professor McGonagall had been merciless with homework; I had so much of it I felt like I was up to my eyeballs in parchment.

"He's still obnoxious and his head hasn't deflated at all, I can't find the effort when he's like this," I answered sleepily.

Willa gave another sharp sigh of impatience, but dropped the subject.

"Hey… Lily, where are they tonight anyway?" she asked after a moment's silence, after four short seconds of sleep on my part. I jerked awake. It took another few seconds for her question to register; I didn't need to ask who "they" were.

I sat up straighter and scanned the common room for signs of messy black hair, a reading Lupin or a sound of bark like laughter. It was devoid of all of them. No wonder it had been so _quiet_ and _dull_.

The three of them usually kept the warmth of the common room blazing by cracking jokes, huddling together, discussing who knows what and just laughing their heads off. It was for that reason that everyone gravitated towards them on nights like tonight, nights where the silence of studying students was so thick you could feel it against your skin. I found myself missing them sorely, it was not unusual for them to be absent, but I felt that I needed to listen to Black's lame jokes and Pettigrew's wheezy laughter just then. They had quietly become a huge part of what made Hogwarts comfortable, even if two of them had heads that could rival that of a giant's big toe. Everyone in our year would agree that they were huge contributors to the charisma of the place.

"I don't know… they've been missing from the picture a lot lately…" I said quietly in response, remembering the night before last and the one before that. Their absence wasn't so pronounced then, but it definitely was tonight, three months into the school year and stress was already riding high, after all, the teachers mentioned O.W.L's at least twice during _every_ lesson they taught. The whole of fifth year was practically aching for Christmas break to arrive.

"They have haven't they? It's not like Black to be boiling the midnight oil in the library for homework and it _certainly_ isn't like Potter or Pettigrew either. I could believe it for Lupin."

I bit my lip nervously as I scanned the room over one more time. Alice was getting Frank to help her with her charms essay; Estelle and Violet were both looking thoroughly bored over near the fire and Willa's fat tabby cat was taking up half of the couch where James, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew normally sat.

"It's strange isn't it? Really _surreal_," Willa murmured.

I nodded slowly in agreement.

James had better not be doing something that would end him up in the hospital wing.

* * *

><p>A blood curdling howl punctured the still night air. A bony wolf hunched over on its long hind legs, whimpering with pain. James slowed down beside him, his breath arriving in small puffs of fog at his nostrils. He turned his large, elegant head to nod at a huge coal black dog at his heels; it immediately turned and sprinted in the other direction. A rat scampered between James's four strong legs, squeaked in terror when it saw Remus and scuttled away to hide behind a nearby tree root. James watched in regal concern as the convulsing skeletal creature before him heaved with suppressed cries of agony. James had easily gotten used to his new form, finding the weight of his tall twisting antlers easy to withstand and the newfound sense of smell and hearing of great use. It seemed to be the same for the other marauders; Sirius had found his legs faster than James had, running circles around him and Remus, barking madly. Peter had squeaked in shock and sat completely stock still, trembling as he observed his new enlarged surroundings.<p>

It had been true torture watching Remus transform. The pain that seemed to blot out all of his friend's sanity cut into James like knives, and by the way Sirius had flinched in his dog form... it had done the same for him. Peter still seemed too transfixed by his own transformation to be concerned for the thrashing Remus. James found that when he was a stag he was always calm and calculating. His large ears twitched when Sirius's paw snapped a twig in half, and followed the sounds of Peter's pattering paw steps from just under him when they ran. He heard every small sound and for once he was completely in control of the situation. He was secure in his stag form, he never wavered once. But still, when Remus was fully transformed, he felt a sharp stab of panic, one he would feel guilt over for the rest of his life. At the sight of the three animals Remus growled viciously and swiped a razor sharp claw at Peter, who promptly squeaked his fright and dived behind an elated Sirius. Sirius simply barked with excitement and began chasing his tail. This reaction seemed to relax Remus, who regarded them with curiosity instead of defensive violence. The shock instantly left James when he saw this.

A sharp shuddering breath from Remus brought James back to where he was. The sound of thudding paws sounded from behind and Sirius returned, dragging a thick woolen blanket in his mouth. Remus was slowly returning to his human state, his snout was shrinking back into his head as thick bristly hair shot inwards on his arms and legs. James took a deep breath, preparing to change at will. When he was back, he was kneeling over a convulsing Remus crouched in the snow, shivering and turning blue.

"Hurry it up will you Sirius? We don't have long until _dearest_ Poppy comes to fetch him," James hissed.

"Don't get your tighty whitey's in a twist James, I'm back," Sirius said with a wolfish grin, wrapping the blanket tightly around Remus.

"I'm a boxer man Sirius, get your facts straight," James said, smirking his usual arrogant grin. Remus gave a shaky laugh, thinking dimly that these two could never be serious about anything. He was, for once, glad for it, he didn't think he could stand pity and nervous grimaces at that moment, especially from his friends.

"Is it safe to come out yet?" said Peter, poking his normal human head around the trunk of a tree. They had all agreed that Peter had better not pay much attention to himself when he was transformed; he was a nice snack, should the werewolf Remus feel peckish.

"Yeah yeah, get over here and help me Petey," Sirius said rolling his eyes and grabbing hold of one of Remus's arms. With Peter's help they managed to get Remus back on his, somewhat wobbly, feet. Remus's face was stricken with the effort, his breath was still hard and labored but a feeble smile played on his lips.

"T-thanks," he said as they began to make their way back to the shrieking shack, Sirius and Peter supporting him heavily.

"No problem mate," Sirius said with another grin. James took over for Peter, who didn't have enough strength to hold Remus up, and shot him a wide, triumphant smile.

"I _told_ you we'd get it right."

Remus gave another shaky chuckle.

"And so you did."

"Come on Prongsie this isn't an appropriate time to gloat, but we _do_ deserve a lot of 'we told you so's' Moony," Sirius said with a bark of laughter. His booming laughs were sounding more and more like barks these days.

"Yes, you've got the t-transfiguration right, but we_ have_ to be careful of the side a-affects until your bodies adjust," Remus prompted jerkily.

"That crunching sound? Yes, that was our ego's, Remus just stepped on them," Sirius said.

James laughed at that, spotting the back of the Shrieking shack in the distance. The dilapidated hub of their activities was starting to grow on him.

* * *

><p>James's head felt like lead the next morning. He had fallen asleep straight away, collapsing onto his four-poster, not bothering to remove his glasses. His eyes fluttered open, feeling heavy, his eyesight was hazy as he struggled to his feet with a groan that spoke of three hours sleep and no more. He heard Sirius doing the same, yawning loudly, exposing his abnormally pointed canine teeth, he heard him stretch, his back cracking slightly as he tried to shake the sleep from his limbs. James stumbled past his bed in an attempt to reach the bathroom, but his limbs gave away and he found himself sprawled on the floor, face down. <em>Hey, this isn't half bad<em>, he thought drowsily as his eyelids fell shut. _The floor's actually quite comfy._

He only half heard Sirius walking over clumsily while stifling another yawn.

"Get up J-James," he said rubbing sleep from his eyes. When he got no response, Sirius swung his leg back and gave a sharp kick to James's side. James gave a half-hearted groan of pain.

"No mum, its still the bloody holidays, _go away!_" he moaned, not making a move to retaliate.

"Fine, have it your way momma's boy," Sirius mumbled, stepping gracelessly over a semi-conscious James and heading for the bathroom. He caught his foot on one of James's arms and almost tipped over in the process.

"What day is it?" Peter asked groggily, sitting up in his own bed looking like death itself.

"September! Now _shut up!_" James answered, his voice muffled by the floor he refused to move from.

Peter stumbled from his bed, his eyes wide, he was trembling slightly, like those dogs muggle celebrities are particularly fond of called 'Chihuahuas'. James lifted his head an inch from the ground to peer uninterestedly up at him.

"What's up with you Wormtail?" He asked colorlessly, his eyes falling shut against his will again.

"Oh, I-I think I may have eaten too much when I was a rat- there was this weird gooey stuff I found on the common room floor- something called lip gloss- I think it was watermelon flavored- and then-then this other stuff-"

"I didn't ask for your life story," James mumbled, cutting Peter off and letting his head fall with a muffled thump back onto the floor. Peter was dancing on the spot, like he'd eaten twenty sugar quills and was hyper from the combined sweetness. He was going a very odd shade of lime green. James knew Sirius was back when he stepped on him to get to his trunk, knocking the air out of his lungs and bruising his spine. James let out a sound like he'd been punched in the stomach.

"Sorry Professor," Sirius said drowsily.

"OH N-NO!" Peter cried, his hands flying to his mouth.

"I-I think I need to g-go throw up a rainbow!" He squeaked as he raced towards the bathroom, stepping heavily on James as he went. James let out another "Oooffff!" but still didn't stir. Peter ambled back half a minute later, his face going from very green to very white to ruby red, like a stop light. He fell back onto his four poster and clutched his large stomach whimpering. Still, James made no move to get back onto his feet.

"That's it, get up mate, come on you meat sack- up!" Sirius grumbled, pulling James up by his shirt collar. James spluttered, groaned and dug his heels into the dormitory floor, refusing to move until Sirius dragged him forward. They came to the bathroom and, ignoring the odd smell of watermelons, walked in. Sirius was still very groggy and half asleep on his feet but he managed to turn the tap on at the basin with fumbling fingers. When it was almost overflowing with freezing cold water, he shoved his head into its depths, bubbles bursting around his tangled black hair. Water splashed to the tiled floor with loud sloshes as he jerked his head back, gasping and combing his hair out of his eyes. The jet of water from Sirius flipping his damp, reduced to dreadlocks, hair out of his eyes whipped James across the face, but still his knees showed every sign of crumbling.

"Right," Sirius said, straightening up and seizing the back of James's head. With another loud splash James found himself submerged in icy water that stung at his eyes and pricked his skin. The bridge of his nose bumped the white bottom of the basin and the metal of his glasses screeched against it. He pulled himself violently out of its depths, sucking in air and feeling like his face had been coated with ice.

"OK! OK! I'm awake now!" He cried, shuddering from the chill. He took his glasses off his nose and wiped the lenses on the part of his shirt that wasn't damp, getting over his shock enough to send a good-natured glare Sirius's way.

"You know you could at least have taken my glasses off for me," He added, furrowing his brow and examining his lenses. Sirius snickered.

"Excuse me for being half asleep and walking pretty much walking walls at the time."

"Oh and thanks for nearly drowning me mate, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome Prongs," Sirius answered with a wolfish smirk.

They re-entered the dormitory, James felt much more alert due to having his head shoved into a basin of cold water. Granted it hadn't been very pleasant, but it woke him up. Peter was still on his bed, looking ill and moaning his little heart out. James peeled off his wet uniform and quickly dressed himself, feeling the dryness of his clean robes wake him up further. By his bed Sirius did the same, tossing his clothes carelessly behind him. After making sure they didn't smell like animals, they made their way to the door, Sirius pausing to stuff a slab of Honeyduke's chocolate into his robe pocket. Another loud groan from Peter made them stop.

"Should we cart him off to the infirmary?" Sirius asked, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder to gesture towards their ailing friend. James pondered this for a few seconds, weighing up his options- go to breakfast and see Lily _or _drag Peter to the hospital wing and see Remus early? He gave a sigh of defeat and walked over to Peter in two strides.

"Come on mate." He gripped Peter's arm and hauled him to the door.

Sirius smirked.

"After you," he said with a bow.

"Finally some respect, I _am_ the one with antlers after all."

* * *

><p>Chapter six! Yay! Rah rah! (man am I on a roll :D I just had to praise myself)<p>

Expect chapter seven in another couple of days!

And as usual, me being the person who MUST show her gratitude, THANK YOU (for reviews, for alerts FOR READING THIS :D) I am a Hufflepuff through and through after all!


	7. Chapter 7: Side effects?

Well this chapter is much shorter than the others but I'm quite fond of it, I've had most of it bouncing around my brain for a long time.

(Its kind of obvious I don't own the universe I play in!)

Toodle pip then, don't you have a story to read?

* * *

><p>"You're looking <em>exceptionally<em> pale this fine morning Moony," Sirius said as he settled himself in a chair next to Remus's bed. James snickered from his seat next to him. Remus just rolled his eyes, a small smile of amusement on his lips. Peter had been tucked into a bed not too far away and had Madam Pomfrey fussing over him at that moment. He was still as green as pickled frog spawn.

"How you got Madam Pomfrey to let you in here this early is _beyond_ me. I thought she would have whisked Peter to a bed and slammed the door in your faces," Remus said, he had been propped up on a pile of pillows, looking extremely weakened and white as chalk. Despite this, his voice was strong and back to full lecturing power. Sirius smirked.

"You underestimate the power of the puppy dog face, god like good looks-"

"And a few fake tears," James added, grinning deviously.

"That, and we happen to be cracking actors, right Prongs?"

"Right you are Padfoot, Madam Pomfrey couldn't possibly stand a chance."

Remus laughed, it was feeble but full of amusement.

"And an up-chucking Peter present had nothing to do with it? She was too preoccupied with him to care about you two."

Sirius looked hurt.

"No one can resist my charming model student act! No one!" he cried dramatically, casting Remus a dejected look.

James laughed, clapping a hand onto Sirius's shoulder.

"Just drop it, Padfoot. We've been found out."

Remus just chuckled again weakly.

"That reminds me Moony…" Sirius rifled around in his robe pockets for a few seconds, before producing the chocolate he'd grabbed before leaving the dormitory.

"Here you go mate, a get well soon gift," He said with a grin, handing it over to Remus. Remus accepted it with another feeble smile.

"Thanks."

He unwrapped it and began breaking off a few chunks. Remus seemed to have developed an extreme fondness for Honeyduke's chocolate; he always had some when he was stressed out, sick or studying. Some days it seemed like he couldn't function right without it. James grinned and bit into the piece he had just received.

"So? How was it?" Remus asked Sirius, who had taken a savage bite of his chunk of chocolate. Remus folded the rest neatly in its wrapper and placed it on his bedside table.

They didn't need to ask about _what_ it was he was talking about.

"It was good, much better than our last attempts."

James painfully recalled when he'd only managed to get himself a pair of antlers while the rest of him stayed completely normal. That was nothing compared to Peter's screw ups though; one time he got a huge version of his rat tail. That took a lot of explaining whenever he bent over, the tail wasn't exactly discreet, even if it was hidden under his robes.

"Yeah, I feel like I can really let loose when I'm a dog, I'm a handsome pooch might I add. I can just let it all out," Sirius said, leaning back against his chair with his arms behind his head, smirking wolfishly.

James snickered.

"Yeah, all over the trees, lamp posts, buildings-"

"Don't forget I tried Wormtail once too, nearly gave him a heart attack it did."

"Plants, people (that old lady remember?) Post boxes-"

"I noticed. There's no way I'd forget the pong of Padfoot," Remus said wryly. Sirius sniggered.

"You flatter me Moony."

Remus laughed, it was less feeble this time.

"Just don't _'let it all out'_ when you're not an animagi. That's all I ask of you Sirius."

"Yeah Padfoot, because if you do, we don't know you," James said jokingly, nudging Sirius and laughing heartily.

"Like Merlin's lacy underpants I won't!" Sirius answered, joining in with the loud laughter.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO _DOING _HERE! And making such a _ruckus_ too! This boy needs _peace_ and _quiet_ to regain his strength! Out both of you!"

Madam Pomfrey came bustling over, practically breathing fire. _She obviously isn't a morning person._ James thought with a smirk as he and Sirius were kicked out of the hospital wing.

* * *

><p>"No sign of Black this morning, huh Willa?" Alice said, slipping in line next to me and immediately sensing Willa's dismal air.<p>

"Nope, none," Willa answered with a wistful sigh. I wrapped my robes tightly around me, feeling the cold chill tug at the fabric persistently. Herbology did not stop just for the weather, unless there was a blizzard or it was hailing chunks of ice the size of cannon balls. The white grounds were refreshing to stare at absent mindedly from a window, _inside_ the warm castle. But if you actually ventured out, within minutes your hands would turn blue if you weren't wearing gloves. Estelle and Violet were rubbing their hands together, looking very annoyed at the weather; Frank was having an animated discussion with a few other students, looking completely immune to the cold. Alice cast him an envious glance.

"How does he act so-so…_energetic_ when it's this freezing out?" she asked, pulling her red and gold scarf tighter around her neck.

Waiting at the greenhouses during this time of the month was just cruel. No one could focus as it was, what with O.W.L's and the anticipation of the break weighing heavily on their minds.

"_There_ they are!" Willa said suddenly, pointing towards the castle. Potter and Black were striding casually towards the group of frozen students, discussing a mysterious subject in hushed tones as usual. James was smirking. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance and turned my attention back onto Alice. Willa, however, marched straight up to them, stopping them in their tracks. She bent closer to scrutinize their faces, her hands on her hips.

"You both look _awful._"

"Gee thanks Willa," Sirius Black answered, a sly grin spreading across his face.

"No really, it looks like you two have had your souls sucked out through your mouths."

"I haven't seen Mottlecough, if that's what you're implying."

I examined them for myself out of the corner of my eye.

They both had dark puffy bags under their eyes, making them look a bit like two panda bears. They were both pale apart from the tips of their noses and ears, which were tinged pink from the chill. James's hair was even more bedraggled than usual, sticking up at the front in crazed spikes. They had a crumpled, just-out-of-bed look. James's usually arrogant air seemed to have been dented by his drowsiness; his hands shook slightly as he rammed them into his robe pockets. I recognized the body language.

_He was nervous._

I hadn't realized I had been walking up to them until I was right next to Willa. I noticed my eyes had been fixated on James. He immediately pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looked down at the icy ground. I put out a hand and took hold of his wrist before he could return it to his pocket. His hand was warm and larger than my own, but still it trembled in my grasp.

"You're shaking," I said as I switched my gaze up to him. It had been a bad idea, my eyes instantly met his. The bright hazel was curious and elated at the same time. I drank in as much of them as I could in a second before I shifted my gaze. I began dragging him back up to the castle, grabbing Black's collar as I went.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing Evans?" He complained after making a choking sound.

"You're both dead on your feet. What makes you think you can handle being so exhausted?" I said in response.

"Willa! Tell Professor Sprout I'm taking care of these idiots!"

"Roger that Lily!" She called back.

Just as we reached the oak front doors I felt James's wrist slip from my hand. I instantly let go of a choking Sirius Black and turned to face him. He gave me a crooked grin.

"Sorry Evans, I know you're head over heels for me and care _deeply_ about my health, but we're both fine."

Black was massaging his throat and casting me a filthy look. I poked my tongue out at him before responding to James.

"Fine, do what you want," I said before turning on my heel and storming back towards the green houses.

"And who said I was head over heels for you?" I called over my shoulder.

I couldn't help but smile to myself when I turned back.

* * *

><p>"She nearly <em>strangled<em> me prongs!"

"And you wonder why I fancy her," James replied with a laugh, his eyes fixed on a retreating Lily, her scarlet hair contrasting with the white snow heavily. Sirius, although used to his best friend's love sick ways, still found it disturbing how tender his eyes got whenever he looked at her and how he seemed to turn into a complete prat whenever she was near. But that didn't mean he couldn't use that for his entertainment.

"I thought you were gonna pass out back there mate," Sirius said, casting James an amused look.

"I'm not _that_ tired Padfoot."

"That's not what I meant Prongs, you looked like you'd died and gone to heaven."

James immediately looked at the ground, kicking at some ice laced between the castle steps. Sirius thought he looked a _lot_ less pale just then.

"What did you have to go and stop her for anyway? I kind of fancied myself a nap," Sirius continued his cool voice probing.

James looked up and gave his friend a confused look, like he should have known that for himself.

"What kind of questions do you think we'd get if we pitched back up at the hospital wing? Nah, it's much better if we stick it out mate."

Sirius shrugged.

"I can sleep during charms I suppose."

James grinned.

"Don't you always?"

* * *

><p>James and Sirius were there for all the days' lessons, acting just as they normally did, although I could see the strain on both of them. The only ones who weren't present were Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.<p>

It was hard seeing James hiding his exhaustion. It made me wonder what they could possibly have done to make them both so run down. Whatever it was, it hadn't been homework.

All the same James was determined to hide the cause of their exhaustion, and plastered on his usual grin to do so. At dinner I gazed down the table and found him while Willa and Alice prattled on. I'd been casting him worried looks all day, I couldn't help it; I wanted to check on him. It made no sense to me, but I decided not to question it, if I did I was in turmoil and it was so much easier to just go with it. He was playing absentmindedly with his food frowning down at it. Sirius's plate was piled high with roast beef. James's plate was devoid of all the normal things he usually ate, and was full of all the things he detested. He picked at the salad and sniffed his forkful before even thinking of eating it. I felt my worries grow even more pronounced, but I kept it to myself. I couldn't concentrate on my homework and decided to turn in early. Forcing all thoughts of James out of my head, I changed and slipped under the silky red duvet. It was so warm I found myself drifting off into a deep, untroubled sleep…

There was a loud terrified squeal, followed by more high pitched screams of panic. My eyes fluttered open immediately and I shot to a sitting position. Bright sunlight was streaming in through the dormitory window- it was morning. I looked around the room. Alice and Willa were both standing on Willa's bed, scanning the ground. Both were still in their night gowns with tangled hair. Estelle and Violet were cowering together on one bed, holding each other and pointing blindly at the floor.

"What's all this about?" I asked sleepily, rubbing at my eyes.

"There-there's a _r-rat_ in the dormitory!" squeaked Estelle, her eyes wide.

"It's so huge and disgusting!" Violet cried, looking faint.

"Especially its _tail!_" Estelle put in, making both of them shudder. I climbed out of bed; Estelle and Violet looked at me like I had gone mad.

"Where is it?" I asked Willa and Alice.

"Over there," Willa said, pointing vaguely in the direction of Alice's bedside table.

"It scampered over there when Estelle and Violet started chucking shoes at it," Alice added.

At these words both cowering girls bent down and took up whatever object they could reach from the safety of the bed, Estelle a thick transfiguration text book and Violet a fuzzy pink slipper. They both needed ammunition in case it showed its whiskered face again.

"The poor thing," I murmured as I walked over to the offending bedside cabinet. It was a squat piece of furniture with a small gap between it and the floor; it was in view of everyone in the dorm. I got to my knees and peered into the small dark space. I saw a fat, furry little lump, quivering and pressing itself against the wall. I slid my hand in after it, feeling the dusty floor as I neared it. Estelle and Violet gasped at my actions. I tried to gently capture it in my hand but it gave a petrified squeak and scratched at my fingers. I flinched but didn't stop my efforts, I managed to get a hold around its large belly and drag it out from under the cabinet. It gave another shrill squeak and frantically wriggled free from my grasp. I scrambled to re-capture him fully, but only caught his long, scaly tail.

"There," I said as I stood up, the chubby rat swinging from its tail, its beady black eyes wide with horror. I held him up to show my gaping audience. Estelle and Violet both screamed blue murder and clutched at each other, looking at me with shocked disgust, probably stunned that I actually touched it.

"GET _RID_ OF IT!" They shrieked.

"I say we throw him out the window," Willa said, glaring at the creature swinging from my hand.

"I say we feed him to your cat Willa," Alice chimed in, looking at the rat with complete dislike.

"Ohh I like that one!"

This triggered a stream of suggestions of how to get rid of it from all sides of the room, all more violent than the last. I kept silent, glancing down at the poor creature. It was frozen with shock, its ears twitching. Did it _understand_ us?

"We could give it to the giant squid!"

"Wouldn't it drown then?"

"_So?_ Who cares!"

"I don't think Squids like rats Estelle."

The rat seemed to gulp, its eyes swiveling in all directions, as if looking for an escape. I felt a rush of sympathy.

"I say we just put it out in the hall, it'll be gone then," I said loudly. The bickering stopped abruptly and four pairs of eyes turned to scrutinize me.

"The poor thing. It just got lost is all; its not doing anything wrong is it?" I continued. The rat turned its head to give me a wide eyed look of gratitude. I smiled kindly at it and hoped it didn't hurt to be held by the tail. There was a murmur of agreement from all four people in the room, I grinned triumphantly and strode over to the door. Once it was safely out in the hallway, Estelle and Violet both heaved sighs of relief and got down from the bed.

"I _still_ say we should have tossed it out the window, something about it was off," Willa said, she was already back on the ground and getting into her robes.

I shrugged as I opened my trunk at the end of my bed.

"No one deserves to be judged like that."

* * *

><p>Well we're comming close to some major events! All I can say at this point is stay tuned and some creative critism is <em>greatly<em> appreciated, without it I won't get any better! If a characters OUT of character I'd like to be told, if I've missed an important detail from the story I'm desperate to know, but other than that thank you (the wonderful reader) very much!

Until next time!


	8. Chapter 8: Tasty shoelaces

Wotcher readers! Here's chapter 8! Whoohoo! *invisible crowd cheers in the background, complete with fireworks* heh I'm so proud of myself XD

This chapters a bit well..._bitty,_ but I think there's lots of humor and depth in it, SleepyHanaHime (my unofficial beta and annoying sister (just kidding I love her) has been a huge help on this story so far, so big shout out to her XD)

I don't own you, right Harry? Harry: Blimey, I didn't know I was for sale! Me: *chuckles* Harry, Harry, Harry... poor thing just doesn't understand the world of fan fiction... Harry: yeah I do, I'm a huge ball of angst in these things.

ON WITH THE SHOW!

* * *

><p>"Do you think Wormtail came back from the Hospital Wing last night?" asked James as he pulled on his robes, casting a curious eye over Peter's bed. Sirius shrugged and scratched his ear in a very dog like manor.<p>

"You know prongs, my largest regret, actually my _only_ regret, in life is that I can't scratch my blooming head with my foot."

James tried to swallow his sudden burst of laughter, covering his mouth just in time.

"It just doesn't bloody _reach!_" he said in frustration, scratching his ear furiously with his hand and frowning.

Sirius seemed to be receiving the full blast of what Remus had meant by: "side effects." He only ever ate meat and had taken to sniffing the air, James was worried that he'd bend down and sniff someone's behind if he didn't watch him carefully. Sirius noticed all this of course and tried his best to act normal when it happened; luckily his confident laughter was contagious. James wasn't worried about his friend, who could churn out excuses like nobody on earth, but he did get a good laugh out of it all. He pulled on one trainer and reached for the other, only to find that it had disappeared, he did a small double take.

"Uh Padfoot mate, have you seen my- MERLIN!" James leapt to his feet and wrenched his shoe out of Sirius's mouth.

"Bloody hell mate, if you're going to chew on my shoes at least go for the scuffed up ones, these are new!" he said, holding his shoe protectively against his chest. Sirius was silent for a few seconds, his eyes flickering from James to the shoe in his hand. Then, out of nowhere, he burst into loud booming laughter, doubled over and wiping tears from his eyes from the force of his amusement.

"Blimey mate, this is just too hilarious!" he managed to choke. James laughed along; there were really only two words to describe what was happening to them; bloody comical. The sound of a slamming door barely made it to James's ears through Sirius's bark like laughs. Peter was pressed against it, his arms spread wide, gulping in air, his chest heaving.

"What the- what happened to _you?_" breathed James, noticing Peter's presence. His round face was as pale as chalk, beads of sweat gathering on his brow. His watery blue eyes were huge with terror.

"Woah Petey, you look like you've seen something truly _horrifying._ You haven't met my mum have you? Because if she's in the castle I'm going to need a clove of garlic and a wooden stake," Sirius paused.

"And if that doesn't work; a bucket of water to _melt her with!" _he continued, miming throwing a bucket of water over a shrieking Mrs. Black. James chuckled in amusement. Peter just let out a small squeak of what should have been his usual wheezy guffaw.

"Padfoot mate, you're thinking of the muggle movie," James pointed out, clapping a hand onto Sirius's shoulder. Sirius cast him a scandalized look.

"There you go- _shattering my dreams_, why did you do that to me mate? Why?"

"Because- Moony isn't here to do it." James laughed, smirking good naturedly.

"So Wormtail, what made you almost pee your pants this time?" Sirius said, smirking roguishly and turning back to Peter. Peter's features suddenly relaxed into a look of pure bliss, smiling stupidly.

"I saw an _angel_," He said sighing with adoration.

Sirius and James shared a curious glance. Sirius pretended to throw up at Peter's soppy remark, completing the with effect with fake, choking retches.

"Do you mind elaborating for us Wormtail?" James asked, hiding his appreciative smirk.

Peter launched into his story. He explained how he explored the girls' dormitories and how the girls in Lily's would have almost killed him if it hadn't been for her.

"Peter, what were you doing up there?" James asked when Peter had ended his story; his hazel eyes were narrowed behind his glasses. Peter gulped.

"I w-was, um, just curious about it; it was cleaner and smelt like that gooey watermelon stuff."

"You had better not've been doing what I think you were doing," James continued calmly, ignoring his reply. Peter looked visibly nervous now.

"W-well Evans looked really angelic asleep, b-b-but I wasn't spying on her, I mean- I uh-"

"Peter."

"Y-yes James?"

"Come here." James's voice was quiet with a dangerous undertone.

"W-why?"

"Give me your neck."

"B-b-but w-why?"

"_So I can strangle you!_" James leapt towards him; Peter squeaked shrilly and dashed out of the way. He scrambled over the four-posters, stumbling on stray shoes, his eyes wide with terror as James pursued him around the dormitory.

"I was just curious!" he shrieked as he dodged a pillow James had thrown clear across the room at him. Sirius just leant against his bed post, his arms folded, watching with amusement as James and Peter destroyed the dormitory. For the second time that morning the dormitory door opened and closed with a click.

"Do I _want _to know?" said Remus, looking healthy again and observing the damage done to the room. James and Peter froze immediately. Sirius snickered.

"Peter's turned into a peeping tom, James is attempting to murder him and my new favorite food is Prongsie's shoes," Sirius said with a shrug.

"That's it in a nutshell Moony," James muttered, straightening his glasses and putting down the well of ink he had been preparing to pelt Peter with. Peter looked relieved and cast Remus a look of extreme gratitude. Remus sighed and shook his head.

"I can't leave you three alone for two seconds let alone whole _days _can I?"

"Nope. You're saddled with us!" Sirius said cheerfully.

"Yeah Moony, you'll never get rid of us," James continued, grinning.

"We're like a rash or virus that just keeps coming back!"

Remus laughed and returned James's goofy grin with a reserved smile.

"Doesn't Madam Pomfrey see me enough?"

* * *

><p>I waited in the courtyard, rubbing my hands together and glancing around hopefully. This was the day before Christmas break started and I was eager to catch up with Sev. I let out a long sigh, my breath a burst of fog in the chilly air.<p>

"Lily! Sorry Lily, I-um- it was hard to get away."

Sev was rushing towards me, a thick Slytherin scarf wrapped around his neck. I brightened at the sight of him. It seemed like months since I had last seen him; I had almost forgotten how comforting his presence was.

I remembered with a pang of guilt our most recent encounter; it had been about a week ago. I stopped to talk to him in the library but Willa and Alice dragged me off before I could even say hello. I wanted to try and reconnect after our chaotic summer; I'd tried so many times before already.

"Its fine Sev, what kept you so long?" I asked, positively glowing. His small smile melted instantly. I felt my own grin die on my lips.

"Well…Wilkes and Rosier wanted to have a word, it was important."

I felt a frown tug at the corner of my mouth, but I managed to hide it, pulling my features into a look of blank indifference.

"What was it about?"

There was a short strained silence. I had made it crystal clear in the past what I thought about his Slytherin friends. I knew whatever they wanted to discuss with Sev was definitely bad news. There were rumors flying everywhere, ones only Willa ever tuned into, and they weren't innocent tales. I feign deafness when I hear them, but I can't stop myself remembering the hushed whispers.

Sev's interest in the dark arts never troubled me before. He just knew a huge array of hexes; it never went further than child like curiosity... that is, not until now.

Jellyleg jinxes, Bat-boogey hexes, his fascination with them never worried me, but soon he got into stinging hexes, hexes that hurt and caused suffering, like engorgio skullus. Spells that didn't just cause discomfort…

"Honestly Lily, it wouldn't interest you, it's just-"

I sighed and felt my eyebrows knit together. It was his polite way of saying: "none of your business." For five years I was self-assured enough to believe I'd never be shrugged off like that by him.

"They're not good people Sev…" I said quietly, suddenly very interested in my shoes. I saw him clench his fist and heard rather than saw him tense up.

"Lily…I...I know they're not...not exactly _saints_, but we share the same interests, its good to have someone to talk to about this stuff."

I bit my lip and stared hard at the straps of my shoes.

"Lily?"

His voice was desperate, pleading me to look at him. I glanced up, meeting his black eyes that were so misunderstood. I knew his story, for me it was like his face was the page of a book; I could read the words hidden behind his pale skin. I could comprehend the cryptic messages, the codes and symbols.

I would interpret him and understand.

"Sev, you said you wanted to show me something?" I said finally, flashing him a hesitant smile. His timid grin reappeared again, it was an awkward upturn of his lips, but Sev never smiled unless he truly meant the gesture of happiness.

He started digging around in his side bag and produced a small, battered black notebook.

"I've created my own spell, it took awhile but I managed it."

I watched him curiously as he rifled through the pages and lifted his wand.

"Muffliato," he said sharply, pointing it at a nearby group of fourth year Hufflepuffs.

"Sev, what did you do to them?" I asked in a rushed whisper, not seeing any visible effect.

"You don't have to talk so quietly anymore, they can't hear us. Their ears are now filled with a mysterious buzzing noise, we can say anything."

Sev was talking loudly enough to draw their attention and still they didn't turn, one of them was patting the side of their head curiously, frowning at the sudden impairment of their hearing.

"Wow Sev, that's-that's brilliant…" I said, trying my best to be encouraging. _It's a harmless spell, nothing damaging,_ I told myself firmly.

There was a short silence, I couldn't decide if it was uncomfortable or not.

When did this happen to us? When did this stupid trench appear?

Where was the rope bridge?

How could I get back to him?

* * *

><p>James turned away from the scene in front of him, his hands balled into fists, his breathing hard. Lily…with Snivellus.<p>

Her face was curious as she talked with him; he was practically drinking in her attention. Why did he care? James Potter never got jealous, he never wished for more; he was created to be _envied_, not the other way round. The only thing he felt he needed was Lily in his life. He didn't just like her appearance; he didn't just want to be with her because she was the first person to say "no" to him. In fact until Evans he didn't have the word "no" in his vocabulary, sure his parents said it when necessary but he felt he had a pretty good set up at home, it was comfortable and he was well cared for, even adored.

Why then?

Looking at the two of them standing together in the courtyard, both speaking in hushed voices, Lily's smile radiant while Snivellus lapped up every ounce of her attention made his heart plummet to his stomach. It wasn't a feeling he liked _or_ was accustomed to.

A burning desire to hex Snivellus to the moon and back blotted out his rational little voice, which sounded strangely like Remus. _What good would that do?_ It scolded loudly. _It won't make Lily smile at you like that!_

Still the hatred for Snivellus boiled his blood and pounded in his ears.

Heck, he had to work his antlers off just to get her to _glance _in his direction!

"Prongs! _A little help mate?_" yelled Sirius from down the corridor; James had paused to peer out at the courtyard after catching a flash of scarlet. They had been exploring the castle, marking down every secret passageway they could find on a sheet of parchment. They decided to get cracking on their other project that morning after Remus had returned from the hospital wing. James's vexation with Peter had been buried at the back of his mind, but by no means had he let it go. James tore his gaze away from the glassless windows and made his way over to where Sirius was. He was struggling with Peter.

"I swear I'll _kill_ you Wormtail if any girls see you doing this!" he growled angrily.

Peter dropped Sirius's foot immediately, beginning to chew on his nails instead.

"Blimey Wormtail, at least Padfoot didn't chew on my shoe when it was _on_ my foot."

"I can't help it!" he wailed.

"He really can't. The side effects should wear off after awhile, you'll just have to suck it up and try not to panic," Remus said, appearing from behind a corner and marking off something on his piece of parchment.

"Great, this is like ruddy puberty," Sirius grumbled.

"You were laughing about it before Padfoot," James said with a smirk.

"I'm a nutter, what can I say?"

"Yes, you're all raving. Have you seen Lily?"

All four boys leapt a foot into the air in surprise.

"What are you? Do you just melt out of nowhere or something!" James cried, turning to face Willa. As usual her sweet smile was silently devious.

"No, you're all just deaf."

"How long have you been standing there for?" Remus asked immediately.

She turned an amused expression on him.

"Not long, but I do agree that you're all mental."

They just gaped at her stupidly.

"I see I'm not getting many answers, shame on you James I expected more of you. I thought you had a sort of Lily-dar or something," She said with a tinkling laugh, brushing past a wide eyed Peter and disappearing down the corridor. James opened and closed his mouth like a stunned goldfish.

"Is-is it that obvious!" he said, turning a shocked expression onto a snickering Sirius. Remus shook his head sadly, trying extremely hard not to smile. Peter looked like he was going to pass out any second now.

Sirius cast a gaze filled with dog like curiosity down the corridor; like Willa was still in sight.

"Prongs, Moony," he croaked suddenly, his eyes wide with dawning terror.

"What is it mate?" James asked, yanking himself back from his own thoughts.

"I feel all warm inside and my palms are all wet, am I dying? I'm dying aren't I? Oh it's too late for me!" he cried, clutching his heart.

James burst into another round of loud laughter, doubling over at his best friend's ignorance. Sirius cast him a scandalized look, one which clearly stated his pain about being laughed at in his diseased state. Remus smiled pityingly at him. Peter looked up, suddenly curious.

"Do you want to explain to him Prongs?" Remus said calmly.

James swallowed the rest of his laughter with great difficulty.

"No Moony, this is more your department of you ask me," He said with his trademark smirk.

"Shall I start with the birds and the bees?"

"Merlin no, back track a bit mate, we don't want to scar any innocent ears." James jabbed his thumb at Peter.

Sirius was looking pleadingly at the both of them, still convinced the fuzzy feeling in his stomach was secretly killing him from the inside.

"Right then," Remus said briskly, turning to face Sirius.

"What you are experiencing is called a 'crush' or more endearingly put 'puppy love'. You, Sirius, are in love."

James couldn't believe Remus said that with a straight face, he, on the other hand, erupted into more booming laughter. Sirius blinked confusedly for a few seconds.

"'love' you say?" he said slowly.

Remus nodded, much like a teacher would to a particularly slow student.

Sirius let out a chorus of bark like laughter, joining in with James.

"Sirius Black is _not_ that soppy!" he managed to choke through his hysterics.

Remus just sighed and rolled his eyes, a small smile of amusement on his lips. Peter looked utterly lost.

"But seriously- take me to Madam Pomfrey, I want to live."

* * *

><p>The train slowed to a stop, steam drifting out onto the platform, Willa, who had been staring out the window the whole time, sighed and began yanking trunks down from the rack.<p>

Our conversation on the way home for Christmas had been centered entirely on O.W.L's, but Willa had obviously wanted to discuss another matter. Whenever she began to mention her subject of interest though, I cut her off at the knees. I couldn't bear to think about James, I'd kicked him out of my mind and replaced him with worries about Sev. Willa was relentless, but she knew when to stop. She was wistful now though, for an entirely unknown reason. Alice and I didn't question her mood, we were both lost in our own thoughts. I collected my trunk and stepped off the train, Alice and Willa trailing behind me. We weaved through the crowd of excited students, all of them relishing their short period of freedom.

"Bye then, see you soon," I said when we were through the barrier.

"Yeah, have a merry Christmas, Ok?" Alice said, attempting a chirpy voice. She spotted her parents, waved and, after casting us a last smile, rushed over to them. Willa let out another exaggerated sigh, but gave me a grin.

"Don't think too much ok Lily?" She said her smile mischievous, before walking over to a waving Ted, pulling her trunk along after her.

"Come ON Lily!" called a shrill voice from behind me. I smiled pleasantly as I turned to see Petunia.

"Why didn't you stay at that freak school? Then I wouldn't have to risk being seen with you."

"It's nice to see you again too Tuney."

I spent the whole Christmas break being anxious about Sev. I had successfully managed to kick James Potter out of my head ever since the rat affair.

Thinking back, I should have seen this all sooner. Sev and I used to study in the library together every Tuesday and weekend. I should have started to worry when he forgot to turn up once, not waited until he didn't show five times in a row. I should not have let all my chances to strengthen the bond between us slip between my fingers. He would always turn up at dinner, repeating sorry in my ear like a chant, and he truly seemed to mean it. I wasn't upset with him at all; I knew it wasn't his fault. Seeing him in the courtyard tucked away in a secret corner, his nose buried in a thick, dusty book was never a nerve wracking experience; but then his choice of literature didn't usually include the titles: "Shrunken head chronicles: the marvels of dark objects", "Confronting the faceless" And "The dark arts: Its hidden beauty". Ever since he showed me his spell in the courtyard, I couldn't shake the feeling he was hiding something, more spells and meetings with his friends he didn't want to divulge. But I was getting paranoid, I knew I was. I shouldn't obsess so much. But I did.

The feelings of unease he brought to me every time his name crossed my memory were a constant reminder that he was being dragged further and further away from me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I had to believe his childlike interest would return, that this was all a phase.

_He will pick the right road in the end_, I told myself consolingly.

_He'll pick the path that makes him happy. _

* * *

><p>I'm truly sorry this took longer than usual, but I wanted to get some things straight in my brain. Thank you <strong>very<strong> much for **ALL** of your encouraging comments and for putting this story on alert or me even, I'm honestly very grateful!

Stay tuned! (ON POTTERWATCH- sorry couldn't help it!)


	9. Chapter 9: Fall from grace

**PLEASE READ:** (pretty please with honeydukes sweets on top?)

OK! It took a whole day but its done! If my writing seems any better than it usually is then it's because... **J.K ROWLING WROTE THE SCENE THAT IS FEATURED IN THIS CHAPTER. It's from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix." chapter twenty eight- Snape's worst memory. **I did it from various points of view so I'm hoping I won't be sued XD but really I needed to portray this scene in order to move on, because it's a very big turning point and contributes a lot to how Lily and James fell in love, I'm trying to stick to what J.K said about them and this scene was just too important...its basically Lily's point of view and Severus's. (I've had Lily's point of view firmly in mind for a long time when it came to this scene.) I hope J.K Rowling doesn't mind me borrowing it for the sake of this story...

**So all credit to her!**

On with the turmoil!

* * *

><p>When I got back to Hogwarts after my cripplingly,<em> normal<em> Christmas with my family, it was all about exams.

I was studying so hard and wading through so much homework there was no room to even notice Sev. But from what I did see, the tension between him and Potter couldn't have been stronger; it was like an ultimate hex war.

So much so I couldn't recall what I saw in James, all those endearing qualities- where did they go?

He, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew still went missing now and then. James and Black hardly ever seemed to touch their textbooks.

Willa and Alice were so worried about their avalanche of homework that they didn't share any new theories about the four of them. Everything seemed to go in a blur. Soon it was just one month until June- exam month.

The weather was growing warmer as spring caused the grounds to burst with sudden life. The lake sparkled when hit with sunlight and the greenhouses flourished as umbrella flowers blossomed, exploding into sudden being. The forbidden forest glowed a hazy green in the heat.

I looked longingly out the window in the History of Magic classroom, biting my lip and casting my watch an urgent plea. Willa was examining her nails and ignoring every word Professor Binns said, while Alice scribbled down a sentence every now and then. Everyone was being cooked alive and slowly bored to death. I had given up following his droning voice as soon as I sat down, I could read the text book later anyway.

I heard a faint snoring from behind me, turning my head curiously around I found it was Black. He was drooling onto his blank parchment and seemed to be having a good dream. I sighed and rolled my eyes, turning my attention back onto my watch, now mentally begging the minute hand to speed up.

Alice had stopped paying Professor Binns any attention at all now and was wringing her quill in her hands, looking frustrated. Estelle and Violet were having a whispered conversation a few seats behind me and Frank Longbottom was trying to catch Alice's attention. Alice's eyes widened when she saw him, and she quickly began scribbling a particularly long sentence Professor Binns had just said. Willa cast him a sympathetic look before focusing on her nails again.

Potter was folding his parchment into a paper plane, looking every inch too cool to even_ be_ in class, like he was above suffering through lessons like the rest of us. Remus Lupin was writing diligently and having a whispered conversation with him out of the corner of his mouth. Just as Professor Binns changed the subject to Giant wars the bell rang, cutting across his monotone voice and startling a few sleeping students to their feet.

Black was more graceful, he opened one bleary eye and groaned, stretching his arms up, yawning; he looked uncannily like a dog waking up from a nap in the sun. I stuffed my things back into my bag hurriedly, desperate to escape my boredom. Willa and Alice both gave loud sighs of relief as Professor Binns floated backwards into the wall and melted through it.

"I swear if I have to sit through another lesson like that I'm going to start pulling out my hair," Willa said, giving the chalk board Professor Binns had disappeared through a filthy look.

"Don't do that Willa, you have lovely hair," Alice said with a laugh, glancing back at Frank. I shook my head when I noticed that, letting a small smile slip onto my lips. Black had rejoined Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew and had already left the classroom.

"I'm so glad we get to go outside for a bit- the castle is like a boiler," I said with a sigh of content, already outside by the lake in my minds eye.

"Yeah we have care of magica-" Alice began but was cut off by sudden screams coming from the corridor. There were many voices now, all screaming something. I ran to the door of the classroom, my heart jumping into my throat, dodging around Longbottom and elbowing my way through the crowd.

"Excuse me, excuse me!" I managed to say in my haste, Alice and Willa on my tail. In the middle of the group I spotted Potter and- with a feeling like I'd just swallowed my heart- Sev. They were circling each other; Potter looked amused, smirking and messing up his hair. Sev's lips were pursed, his brow furrowed, looking like he was ready to murder.

Their wands were drawn and the crowd was eagerly urging them on. Feeling numb, I began making my way through the throng again, heading towards Lupin, who was standing next to a grinning Sirius Black. I grabbed his elbow, my eyes blazing.

"Do something Lupin, you're a prefect too aren't you!" I yelled over the sounds of the crowd. He gave me a startled look, one which told me clearly that that thought had never once crossed his mind until now.

"Ok Evans, but they won't listen to me-"

"I'll _help_ you then!" I cried, gesturing to my own badge and pulling him with me to the front of the crowd again. Sev dodged a jellylegs jinx and was getting ready to cast one himself, his eyes flashing dangerously. I saw words on his lips before he even said them and fear mixed in with annoyance flared in the pit of my stomach. But just as I screamed "_Stop!_" Professor McGonagall came bustling through the crowd, looking mutinous, her mouth a very thin line, like she'd just swallowed a lemon wedge.

"That is _quite_ enough!" She said shrilly, grabbing the collar of both Sev's and Potter's robes in both hands, her eyes boring into them. James looked vaguely startled by her arrival. Sev ignored her presence entirely and just kept glaring daggers at James, looking ready to strangle him.

I dropped Lupin's wrist and sighed inwardly. Both Willa and Alice looked lost for words. Professor McGonagall began dragging them off towards her office and, sensing that the excitement was over, the crowd dispersed.

"Really Mr. Potter, I can barely say that I'm surprised! But I'll tell you what I _am- _gravely disappointed! And you, Mr. Snape, I shall be having a word with Professor Slughorn about this and _he_ shall be the one to decide a fitting punishment!"

Her voice disappeared down the corridor. I felt myself tense up, anger bubbling like a burning cauldron in my chest, spitting sparks in my stomach.

My hands clenched into fists and I felt my nails digging into the flesh of my palms.

Now all I had to do was figure out whom I was more annoyed with.

Sev for feeding James's fire and letting it get to him or James for just being who he was.

A boy with an ego the size of a fully grown, female dragon. Why did I ever think he'd come off his high hippogriff long enough to actually be _likable?_ Except, in his case, his hippogriff was his ruddy broom and that was _always _above the clouds.

Severus wasn't innocent either, I found myself wishing on many occasions before this one that he wouldn't let James's words into his heart, that he wasn't so easily provoked.

But it was like they were hyper aware of each other, like just by loathing one another they could sense when the other was about to sneeze. My compassion was for Sev, he was my best friend after all. I had none left to waste on Potter, even though, secretly, I wished there was some, even just a drop.

I avoided both Potter (which was easy, as I usually did anyway) and Sev.

June came and I woke to find Alice shuffling through all her notes on the dormitory floor, looking like she'd hardly slept. T

he last exam to sit was defense against the dark arts. Everyone was aching to be out in the mercilessly sunny grounds. I was beginning to think the weather was taunting us by being so refreshingly warm but slowly frying us in the stuffy castle. By the sounds of it both Willa and Alice breezed through everything, which wasn't a surprise as Alice had been revising like mad and forcing me to drill her on her notes, which was good practice for me so I didn't complain.

I wrote down everything I knew on question ten: "_Name five signs that identify the werewolf_" and felt my eyebrows knit together when I thought about writing something about the full moon in my answer.

I glanced up and saw Sev scribbling away at his own answer sheet, looking so absorbed he didn't notice that his nose was almost brushing against it. I finished off a few more questions, the answers coming to me easily and in well formed sentences, allowing my mind to be anywhere but on the exam paper I was currently writing.

Polishing off the last question I settled back in my chair, satisfied. The great hall's normal house tables had disappeared and had been replaced by small desks. The sun shone through the large windows in rays, making me feel uncomfortably warm in my bulky black robes.

I saw Potter, who was sitting a few tables across from me, turning in his chair and giving Black a thumbs up. I quickly looked down at my parchment again, just in case he caught me glancing at him.

"Quills down please!" Professor Flitwick squeaked moving down the row next to mine.

"That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_"

He stumbled backwards with the force of the hundreds of rolls of parchment in his arms, a couple of students hurried forward to help him while others laughed in amusement.

"Thank you… thank you, everybody you're free to go!" He said, righting his crooked glasses and nodding towards the students who had helped him back onto his feet.

I heard my heart sing as I jumped to my feet and hurried over to where Willa, Alice, Estelle and Violet were standing.

We headed out into the grounds, and settled under the same Willow tree Willa and I had sat under last year, relishing the sudden freedom. My heart felt lighter than it had in months.

Estelle asked Alice what she found hard on the exam and normal conversation ensued, the responses were comfortable and lazy.

I peeled off my socks and shoes, remembering how nice it was last year to dip your feet into the lake, Willa already having doing so. The smell of the water was one of damp grass and rain. Breathing it in I relaxed entirely, forgiving the weather for nearly slow roasting me inside the castle.

"The exam was so hard and Black just looked completely bored," Estelle said with a giggle. Willa, as always, rolled her eyes.

"Black always looks bored, he's not a complicated bloke," she said with a shrug.

"Yeah well, I was surprised, he barely studied and he finished before I did," Alice chimed in.

I churned the water with my legs, moving them through the chill and watching the ripples the movement created cascade across its surface.

I noticed James sitting under the beech tree with his usual group, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew, not too far away, playing with a snitch. Pettigrew was definitely feeding his ego by gasping like that whenever he made a good catch.

"Sheesh, boys never do change do they?" Willa murmured next to me, following my gaze. I jumped and quickly turned my gaze away from them.

"'Spose not." I said quietly.

I tried to focus on the conversation again, but couldn't no matter how hard I tried, I was too busy trying to ignore Potter. For some reason that wasn't working very well either. I must have zoned out for a bit, nodding to what Alice said and keeping my eyes trained on the lake.

Suddenly I heard someone scream a long string of swear words mixed in with hexes and curses. My head turned in the direction of the anguished out cry, Willa, Alice, Estelle and Violet mimicking me. I got to my feet, feeling the grass tickle the soles of my bare feet as I walked to the Willow tree and peered around its trunk.

I saw Potter and Black, their backs turned to me and Sev, on the ground, struggling viciously, like he was bound by invisible ropes. I felt my breath catch in my throat and my nails dig into the bark of the tree.

Willa was on her feet in no time, seizing my arm.

"Lily, don't-" she began, but I shook her off, advancing on them, pushing past the group of laughing students.

"Wash out your mouth," James's voice was like an arctic wind and it only added to my boiling anger. "_Scourgify!_" he directed his wand at Sev, who already looked like a caged animal ready to maul James and Black to the best of his abilities.

Pink soap bubbles erupted from Sev's mouth, making him gag and splutter, gathering in his throat, choking him. I felt myself quiver with uncontrollable hatred.

"Leave him ALONE!" I yelled, moving into the circle, my anger thumping in my ears like the flow of blood through my veins. Potter and Black looked around immediately and to my annoyance James's hand jumped instantly to his hair.

"All right, Evans?" James asked his voice pleasant and removed from any guilt.

"Leave him alone," I repeated, glaring at James, threatening him to do anything different. "What's he done to you?"

I found myself truly wanting the answer to this simple question.

"Well," James pretended to be thinking over his answer, "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…"

Black and the surrounding students laughed cruelly.

"You think you're funny," I said quietly, my voice dangerous, "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toe rag Potter. Leave him alone!"

"I will if you go out with me Evans, go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again," James said quickly, looking straight at me now. I saw Willa clap a hand to her forehead at James's words, shaking her head and casting him an incredulous look from beside the willow tree, like she couldn't believe what he was doing.

The jinx was wearing off on Sev now and he was crawling towards his wand desperately, leaving a trail of soap suds in his wake.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," I said bluntly, my voice filled with hidden venom, wondering how many times he had to get rejected before he was satisfied.

"Bad luck Prongs," said Black, James looked like he'd been punched in the stomach.

"OI!"

Sev pointed his wand at James and a slash appeared in his cheek, blood splattering his robes, I felt my heart stop as James whirled around on the spot, there was a flash of light and Sev was in the air, hanging by his ankle, his robes falling down and displaying his underwear. I felt the corners of my lips twitch involuntarily, but still I closed my hand over my wand.

"Let him down!" I ordered angrily.

"Certainly," James said with a smirk, lifting the spell. Sev fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs. I had to restrain myself from running forward to check if he was alright. Sev scrambled to his feet, Black caught him before he could even open his mouth.

"_Petrificus totalus!"_

Sev stiffened and fell backwards, rigid and unmoving.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Things were going downhill fast.

* * *

><p>Hanging upside down in the air by his ankle, with his underwear showing, Severus would agree that he's had better days. And rubbing salt into his wound was the fact that it was <em>his <em>spell that he was currently under.

Severus was never safe when Potter was within range, he couldn't even sit safely in some shade next to a clump of bushes, poring over an exam paper undisturbed.

He was ready for it when Potter and Black advanced, his wand came out fast but Potter had the upper hand. Of course, Severus would have preferred to choke on soap suds than get Lily involved.

He was blissfully happy that she cared but also bitterly enraged at Potter for putting him into this situation. It was like the boy lived to torment him, but Severus didn't care- it gave him another reason to try to curse that smug look off his face.

Oh how Severus wished he could do non-verbal spells, watching Potter talk to Lily and actually ask her to go out with him in such an obnoxious manor, made his blood boil. He swore under his breath when his sectumsempra spell missed its target and instead just cut Potter's cheek.

Now, hanging in mid air, feeling an uncomfortable breeze around his legs, he hated Potter more then what was humanly possible. His mind was running through a list of curses that he'd use on him as soon as he was let down.

On Lily's command Potter lifted the spell and, with a sickening thump, Severus met the ground, feeling his stomach squirm as the air was knocked out of him. His whole body ached with the sudden impact, despite this he got to his feet, floundering for his wand, the blood drumming in his ears drowning out Lily's beautiful voice and the screams of laughter.

"_Petrificus totalus!"_ Blacks voice broke through the barrier, Severus felt his legs snap together as he keeled over backwards, stiff as a marble statue.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily screamed, seeming beside herself.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." Severus heard Potter say, he didn't want to hurt another person more than James Potter in that moment.

"Take the curse off him then!" Lily cried.

Severus couldn't see anything but the cloudless blue sky, but he heard the quiver of her voice, she had her wand out. His ears caught the sound of Potter letting out a long sigh. He muttered the counter curse hesitantly.

Severus leapt to his feet, feeling beyond himself with frustration and anger, he was humiliated. Rage at Black and Potter caused him to tremble.

"There you go, you're lucky Evans was here, _Snivellus_," James said haughtily. There was it again, that bloody name! He didn't need Lily to fight his battles, in fact he would have preferred it if she hadn't been there _at all_ to witness him in such a vulnerable and idiotic state.

Clenching and unclenching his fists, words, faces, morals and beliefs running through his head, his breathing heavy he spat the first words that came to mind.

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"

His resolve snapped cleanly in half, he felt nothing but a vile mixture of regret and fury pumping through him like poison. Lily blinked.

"Fine. I won't bother in future and I'd wash your pants if I were you _Snivellus_."

His whole body went numb as his world shattered into a million small pieces, her words echoing in his head like a chant.

His worst memory, the one that would torment him in his sleep, would definitely be this one. Forever burned into his subconscious, this day, this moment, her indifferent face.

He hated his foul mouth that formed the words that murdered his friendship with Lily Evans.

* * *

><p>My breath caught in my throat and I felt tears cloud my vision, singeing my eyes painfully. A vile taste rose in my throat as I fought the urge to say more to Sev, something that would make him see the turmoil my heart was in. But no, there was no chaos, there was a thin crack, but that was it. That was all that blemished my heart. That was all the damage his words caused, a small tear that numbed my senses.<p>

"Apologize to Evans!" roared James, pointing his wand between Sev's eyes.

"I don't want _you _to make him apologize; you're as bad as he is!" I yelled, my anger rekindling and licking at my insides like a flame.

James looked startled, a hurt expression flitting across his features, his hazel eyes dark.

"What?" he yelped, looking alarmed, "I'd never call you a- you-know- what" he looked desperately at me as if trying to make me see sense.

Then it happened, words tumbled from my mouth, never stopping once, everything I thought of him, everything I_ disliked_ about him, all came to my lips in a rush. Now it was like I was trying to make _him_ see sense. I didn't stop until my last few words.

"…you make me SICK!" I finished in a yell, feeling tears prick threateningly at my tear ducts. I turned on my heel and ran, pushing through the crowd and heading blindly towards the greenhouses.

"Evans!" I heard James call after me, a desperate edge to his voice.

"Hey, EVANS!"

I didn't look back, I'd had it.

* * *

><p>Willa, having watched from the sidelines the whole time, had been fighting the urge to run out there and give both James and Sirius a good shake, now that Lily was gone she could.<p>

James said something Willa couldn't make out to Sirius, he replied with a shrug. Willa thought hard then marched straight through the crowd, making people scatter like beetles. She was seething and wouldn't have been surprised if her hair was on fire with the force of her emotions. Snape was in the air again, Willa rolled her eyes at him and kept walking- making a beeline for Sirius.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James called out.

"Uh I don't _think_ so!" Willa said, gritting her teeth and grabbing Sirius's collar.  
>"I'm borrowing this idiot for a few minutes, if you don't mind <em>Potter<em>," She said, dragging Sirius off towards the school. Sirius cast James a wide eyed look of terror, but didn't struggle.

"Prongs, I'm being kidnapped! _Don't save me!_" he mouthed.

She let go of him roughly when they were in the shadow of the castle, having pulled him around the back of the structure.

Folding her arms she turned on him. Sirius could have sworn he saw smoke coming out of her nostrils.

He rubbed his neck and eyed her wearily, wondering what on earth she could possibly want from him.

"Why the ruddy hell did you go and do that for!" She cried, placing both hands onto his shoulders and giving him a good shake.

"Lily hates him enough! Why go and fuel the bloody fire!" she continued.

"I was bored," Sirius managed to say, he was shocked by her actions but pleased in a weird way that she was touching him, even if it meant she almost cracked his neck.

"Wrong answer!" she said, looking him straight in the eye, her nose an inch from his. Sirius gulped inwardly, wondering why he felt so uncomfortable, he never felt nervous or awkward, so this was new for him. On the outside he seemed perfectly composed; he even managed to smirk roguishly like he normally did. She gave a short sigh of irritation and released him, massaging her temples.

"Merlin Willa, would you please slow down and tell me why you're nearly breathing fire? If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to mentally strangle me," Sirius said with a nervous chuckle, Willa, with difficulty, stopped glaring at him. It was hard to stay mad at Sirius Black; anger seemed to rebound off him, like he had a permanent shield charm cast around him.

"Lily definitely hates James now, the only good that's come of this whole scenario is that she's seen Snivell- I mean Snape's true colors," she said with a sigh.

"And I'm included in this conversation again…why?" Sirius asked, looking blank.

She seized the front of his robes and examined his eyes, her own, warm brown ones burning.

"Because YOU started it!" she hissed.

"Woah, Willa love, you're starting to scare me," he teased, letting out a bark like laugh. _I sure can pick 'em_ he thought in amusement. The corners of her mouth twitched and she let go of him reluctantly.

"Ahhh, cleaning up this mess is going to be hard; James is going to go through the mill trying to get Lily to like him now."

"But I can't make you feel any guilt, can I?" she added, eyeing Sirius with one of her sweet but devious smiles.

Sirius grinned and shook his head.

"'Course not."

* * *

><p>Well that's all I'll have to replicate from the books and I threw in the Willa and Sirius part for fun XD the next few chapters should be very interesting to write, thank you for bearing with me!<p>

Until next time!


	10. Chapter 10 Silent scolding

**EDIT:**It's been made a bit longer now, thank you for your paitence!

P.S there are a couple of lines from Snape's memory in book seven used but that's it! :D

Sorry! and ON WITH THE (ridiculously short) CHAPTER!

* * *

><p>"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."<p>

"No-listen, I didn't mean-"

"-to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" my voice was cold and resolute.

Severus struggled to answer my argument. It seemed the debate was finally over. I turned, pulling my sleeping gown tighter around me and stepped through the portrait hole without a second glance.

"Thanks for telling me, Mary," I said quietly as I walked past a girl in my year.

"Sure thing Lily, boy was I surprised when he threatened to sleep out there!"

She said with a grin, turning back to her own conversation.

Not saying another word, I walked straight back up the stairs to the girls' dormitory; ignoring James's beckoning hand, which flopped down to his side when shown no attention.

I'd ignored the rumors and swallowed back my protests for so long; I thought it would have been a relief to get them off my chest. But it wasn't, it just made reality clearer. Severus and all his friends- Avery, Mulciber, Lestrange...were all Death-Eaters-to-be. Combine the front page of the Prophet with the twisted humor of Bellatrix Black and her cronies and you'd be seeing the future. I had been so hopeful, so _sure_ that Severus would pick the path that made him _happy_, that thought was naïve, but it consoled me for a while. I was also sure I'd be crying right about now. I didn't _usually_ cry, but I thought after losing my best friend the proper thing to do was bawl my eyes out.

But no, I just felt numb, and I liked it better that way. It was a wonder how much damage one word could do. There was no time to live in the past anymore though, as much as I wanted to cold shoulder the rest of the world I couldn't. The whispered rumors, the grim stories in the daily Prophet were becoming a bit _too_ frequent. I wasn't prepared to brush Severus aside, but if I thought harder about it, the Severus I wasn't willing to let go was the one he was at the swing set. He was still there _somewhere_, but the 15 year old Severus has made a decision, a choice he's going to follow through to the very end.

"Wotcher Lily flower," Willa said when she saw me come in the door. She was sitting on the floor against the side of Alice's bed. Alice was sprawled out on top.

"What was it that Mary wanted?" Alice asked drowsily. She'd just finished packing her trunk. Willa's stuff was still lying everywhere and her own trunk was gaping open expectantly. She ignored its silent command to be packed. I gave a deep sigh and perched on edge of my own four poster.

"She came to get me; Severus Snape was outside the common room. He wanted to apologize is all. He needn't have bothered."

"Is that so? He's got some guts. Anyway, who here will be lovely enough to help me pack?" Willa said, looking from me to Alice hopefully. Alice gave an exaggerated groan, but got to her feet and started collecting Willa's things.

"I'll do it; the way you pack is just horrendous."

Willa grinned, unperturbed by Alice's statement.

"It's true; I just stuff everything in and hope the lid shuts. I'm sure Ted's owl is in there somewhere."

I looked at her trunk in bemusement.

"Don't believe me? Ok, you can carry it off the platform tomorrow- if you knock it against something it hoots."

"You just want some free labor!" Alice scoffed, folding a sock neatly and popping it into Willa's sinister trunk.

Willa shrugged.

"Can't blame a girl for trying."

* * *

><p>James was once again in disgrace. Remus was an expert when it came to inducing guilt in James, it usually worked on Sirius as well, but he seemed to have become impervious to Remus's silent scoldings. Peter was being his normal self and never seemed to need Remus to quietly reprimand him; he was nervous about everything already.<p>

James and Sirius had been sent to an invisible corner by Remus, and their compartment was quieter than the grave.

"Excuse me, warden? Am I allowed to breathe?" Sirius asked suddenly, leaning back and putting his arms behind his head jauntily. Remus, who had been tapping a piece of parchment with his wand, muttering under his breath, looked up. Sirius smirked; James was trying hard not to do the same.

"No you may not Sirius, I don't care if my prisoners suffocate," Remus said, turning back to the parchment. Peter's eyes widened at Remus' words.

Sirius scoffed.

"You do _so_ care if I die from suffocation!"

"Can we care if he turns blue Moony?" James piped up.

The two of them could only see Remus's eyes over the top of the parchment and by the way the corners were crinkled, they knew he was smiling.

"Fine, do you want to have a last look at this James? I think it's about right now," he said, leaning over and holding out the parchment to James.

Just as he reached over to take it, the door to their compartment burst open.

Peter squeaked and jumped a foot in the air. Leaning against the sliding door's frame was Willa.

Remus, James and Sirius had been expecting an attack from her, after her little stunt after the Defense Against the Dark Arts exam.

Upon seeing her Peter's eyes bulged out of his head, he scrambled to his feet and flew out the door. Willa looked indifferent as she watched him scamper down the train looking terrified.

She had her wand held lightly in her hand; three pairs of eyes fell on it. There was a simultaneous intake of breath- she was serious. She walked into the compartment, her eyes travelling over each of them, closing the door behind her.

"Will you lot stop gaping at me? I'm not the grim reaper you know!" she snapped.

There were sighs of relief from all three boys. Willa massaged her forehead with one hand, mentally counting to ten.

Sirius put up his hand slowly, like he was answering a question in class.

"Yes- Sirius?" she said, pretending to pick him.

"Can I be excused? I'd rather not be told off a second time if you don't mind love-"

Willa narrowed her eyes and pointed her wand between his eyes. Sirius went quiet very quickly.

"I'm sorry Sirius- did you say something?" she said, her voice deadly.

Sirius grinned, showing his abnormally pointed canine teeth.

"I s'pose not." He sounded entertained.

She retracted her wand and folded her arms. Remus was watching her wearily.

"I'm really here for James," She said, turning to scrutinize him. James looked defiantly up at her from his seat.

"Why didn't you just kidnap me with Sirius? Two birds with one stone and all that?" James asked. Obviously Sirius had filled him in- with great detail.

She paused, and seemed to be thinking over her answer, pacing the small compartment.

"Well, I fancy Sirius, so I went for him first naturally. Besides I figured if you were going to torture Sniv- Snape, then you might as well do a good job," she answered with a shrug, turning to face them all again.

Sirius froze in his seat- exactly like he had when Mrs. Potter had hugged him before he boarded the Hogwarts express, at the start of the year. His expression was one of shock; he looked like he'd been stunned. James waved a hand in front of his face; he didn't stir.

"Yeah, Moony, we've lost him," James concluded, sitting back. He could barely hide his amusement. Remus had put the parchment down now and was also trying hard to stifle his grin- a grin he had aquired from spending too much time with the Marauders. Willa, however, looked like she hadn't noticed.

"Anyway, I came to-"

James cut her off.

"I already know I acted like a git, but I don't regret what I did to Snivelly, he's had it coming for a _long_ time."

Willa faltered, pursing her lips.

"Why'd you have to go ruin it for me! I had a whole speech prepared!" She sighed in frustration.

"I was really going to have a go at you three! And then _you_ had to go and come to your senses _by _yourself; you know how frustrating that is? That is _very_ unlike you James!"

She paused.

"It's progress."

James shrugged.

"You done yet?" he asked. She turned a silencing glare his way.

"No! I am _not_ done!"

"What else could you possibly have to say?" asked Remus curiously.

She rounded on him.

"Oh I have plenty! You know Lupin I thought you were pretty sensible, but no-"

She poked his prefect badge.

"You-just-sat-there-and-watched- it-happen!" with every word she prodded his badge. When she was finished, Remus hung his head in shame.

"In retrospect I'm actually madder at_ him_," She pointed to Sirius with the tip of her wand; he still looked rigid with shock, his eyes staring into the distance. James snickered.

"And you too! You're not off the hook either!" She said, her eyes blazing.

"But I've _made progress!_" James answered wearily. He didn't want to have someone to scold him about what happened, he'd done that to himself enough already. But he was still having a hard time repenting, it wasn't _his_ fault Snape's tongue slipped! He had had a hard enough time with Remus breathing down his neck- _silently. _

It was this quiet disapproval that truly got to James and Remus had learned that early on in their friendship.

"Oh no, you're not on _my _hook, you're on Lily's. I didn't think it was possible, but now she dislikes you even more," Willa said with a sigh, losing some of the crackling electricity that was her anger.

James drooped at that. Now instead of three carefree youths there was one stunned boy and two gloomy ones. Willa had done her job well. She smiled with satisfaction inwardly.

"Ok. Now I'm done. If you'll excuse me," She grinned and opened the compartment door, sliding out gracefully. James ran his fingers through his hair and massaged his forehead, feeling Willa's words cutting into him painfully. He had known that already of course, but hearing it stated out loud was like a punch to the gut.

"Moony?"

"Yeah James?" Remus answered solemnly.

"I feel rotten mate."

"That's called 'guilt'."

"I know what it's called!"

"Embrace it, she's right after all."

There was a short silence, both boys drowning in their own regret. It was then that Sirius came to, blinking and looking around the compartment in bemusement.

"Blimey, who died?" He asked when he saw James's face.

"My chances with Lily, that's what died," James mumbled dejectedly.

"I already knew that mate," Sirius said with a chuckle, clapping a hand onto James's shoulder.

"_How is that supposed to make me feel better!_"

"To put it simply- it's not." Remus said with a shrug.

"Oh don't sugar coat it for _my_ sake, go ahead and make me feel _worse_," James muttered darkly, his eyes flickering from Sirius to Remus.

Sirius's face split into a sly grin.

"That's what friends are for! Right Prongs?"

Remus smiled apologetically at James.

"There's no use in lying to you is there?"

James folded his arms over his chest and proceeded to sulk slightly.

"I s'pose not Moony."

"Don't pout mate; it'll hurt your 'manly image.'" Sirius put in with a bark of laughter.

James glowered at him, but quickly admitted defeat and let his trademark smirk form on his lips. Sirius looked satisfied at that.

"So Padfoot, you sure you're OK after what Willa said?" James asked. Sirius looked confused.

"She just came and had a go at you lot, why would that bother me Prongs?"

James and Remus glanced at each other.

"I think it's the shock James," Remus said.

"What? What'd she say? It wasn't about another girl wanting to poison me right? Because I don't think my poor heart could take it," Sirius said his eyes wide. He looked truly puzzled.

James laughed heartily.

"Never mind mate, never mind."

He'll come to his senses sooner or later. James was banking on "later".

* * *

><p>Wild green hills rolled past my window, the sky a streak of blue and white as the train rushed past.<p>

Alice sat quietly opposite me, paging through today's Daily Prophet, her frown becoming more pronounced with every headline she muttered out loud.

"Three missing, baffled ministry unable to give answers, Wizards paralyzed- the growing paranoia…"

I felt my eyebrows knit together as I folded my arms over my chest, keeping my gaze fixed on the blurred landscape as I listened to Alice's troubled voice. Suddenly she gave a short sigh of irritation and flung the paper down beside her, crumpling the pages and throwing it a filthy look.

"_Honestly!_" she murmured.

"What did you expect Alice? It's only the beginning you know; there won't any good news for a long time," I said quietly.

"I know, but it's frustrating! And anyway Lily, stop scrunching your eyebrows like that, it doesn't suit you."

I let my face relax, but a small frown lingered around the corners of my lips.

The compartment door opened and Willa threw herself into a seat next to me, positively glowing.

"Welcome back Willa," Alice said dully, picking up the Prophet again and, after giving it a scathing look, scrunched it violently into a ball.

"Thanks Alice," Willa replied. She cast me a look of quiet concern out of the corner of her eye. I answered her with a smile of reassurance; it was enough to satisfy her. I was fine really, just smarting a bit, like after you pull off a band aid lightning fast- it twinges every now and then, but the sting doesn't last.

I suppose, for the first time in five years, I was glad to be going home, just to take a few deep breaths. I knew very well I'd be yearning for Hogwarts quite soon, but I needed my house's calming qualities.

"Did you go and freak Black out again Willa?" I asked, turning my concern onto Willa's radiant smile; it positively _oozed _joy.

"Maybe," she answered mysteriously. I raised an eyebrow in her direction, sensing concealment. She quickly changed tack.

"That last torture device I used- you know that rumor about Mottlecough?- it was_ awfully_ outdated by the time I got around to telling Black. She probably got cold feet at the last second," She said quickly, knowing this new piece of information would steer our conversation into safer waters.

"So why did you bother mentioning it to the poor boy! And _why_ keep doing it?" Alice cried, throwing her arms into the air in exasperation. Willa's face split into her best evil smirk.

"_Because._ You'll never find better entertainment than watching the color drain out of his face," she said with a sinister tinkling laugh. A genuine smile of amusement crept onto my face and before I could stop myself I'd burst into a loud chorus of laughter.

"You'll land him up in St. Mungo's some day if you keep it up Willa!" I managed to say. "You'll have driven him stark raving mad!"

"Poor guy, I really feel for him. All this emotional trauma because of a girl that _likes_ him. Poor, poor, unfortunate soul," Alice chimed in, her voice sympathetic and mournful.

Willa just grinned and watched our reactions proudly, her eyes twinkling.

"Who needs a relationship when you can mess with his mind instead?" she said.

Alice stared at her. I just shook my head, my smile fixed permanently in place.

* * *

><p>Thank you very very much, I appreciate the cooperation!<p>

I hope it wasn't too much bother ^_^


	11. Chapter 11: Tomato sauce?

Yes yes! I know it's been an awfully long wait- but wait no more! I've tried to make up for my horrible commitment by giving you THIS awesome chapter :D I'm quite proud of it- it's my most comical yet I'd say. I've also made the last chapter longer so please make sure to read it so you don't miss anything! Thank you very much for being paitent with me.

I'm back on track with this story- there's still a TON to write! So stay tuned!

Harry: I would like to point out- Me: *sellotapes mouth shut* it's OK, they know! Harry: *looks annoyed*

* * *

><p>"<em>OUT! OUT YOU FOUL, DISGUSTING, LOWLY BLOOD-TRAITOR, UNDESERVING OF THE NAME BLACK! A DISAPPOINTMENT THAT DOES NOT DESERVE RECOGNITION AS MY FIRST SON-<em>"

"Oh, shut up you cranky bag of bones, I'm leaving whether you throw me out of this foul place or not," Sirius spat, dodging a plate his mother had just thrown at his head.

"OUT, YOU UGLY PEST! I CAN NO LONGER _STAND_ YOUR CONTAMINATED PRESENSE!" Wulburga Black screeched, her eyes bulging, a vein throbbing in her neck. Regulus sat timidly in a lumpy armchair, his eyes wide as he watched his mother screaming at his older brother and throwing anything within reach. Sirius's expression was one of freezing indifference; in fact, he almost looked bored.

"I've put up with you lot for three weeks. That in itself was a form of advanced torture- but I must say this, you have a lovely vocabulary _mother,_" Sirius said the last word like it was the most disgusting thing he'd ever tasted, spitting it out violently, his expression one of deepest loathing. His mother shrieked a string of incomprehensible insults, her face turning beet red; Sirius wouldn't have been surprised if her hair suddenly erupted into strands of hissing snakes.

He turned on his heel and headed for the stairs, intending to walk straight out of his prison; he paused only to leap out of the way as a dagger came soaring after him. It hit a picture of his Grandfather, Pollux Black, with a dull _thunk;_ its handle wobbling slightly from impact. His Grandfather ran screaming from it, diving into a neighboring painting _just _before it hit_. _He gave it a wide eyed look of indignation from next to his Grandmother, Melania Black, in her portrait, casting Sirius a burning glare as he walked past, that clearly said: "IT SHOULD HAVE HIT _YOU!_". Sirius sent him an impertinent wink, which made his scowl deepen.

His mother followed him out, still hissing and spitting insults, swiping and pushing at him with her claw like hands. Sirius didn't care. He was an expert at dodging the curses she threw at him and couldn't care less about being thrown out of the house.

He'd served his time in this pit of despair.

Wulburga screamed with anguish every time a particularly horrid curse missed Sirius- even by inches. When they got to the door, paintings watching them with a sort of hungry curiosity, Sirius opened it calmly and stepped out into the porch. He turned to face his mother then, for the last time for the rest of his life- he hoped.

"_Good riddance_," He said, before he turned, walking down the path and into the street- the Borough of Islington. He heard his mother screech another set of spit ridden insults before conjuring his trunk and broom and throwing it forcefully out after him. She screamed something about not wanting any of his possessions corrupting the house's purity.

Sirius dived out of the way, landing on his stomach as his trunk thudded down beside him. There was a loud slamming sound that seemed to come from no where. Sirius felt his grazed palms burn as he staggered to his feet, throwing the gap between numbers eleven and thirteen a filthy look. He hauled his trunk onto its wheels and balanced his broom on his shoulder before setting off down the street.

This was going to be a long flight to James's place and a _whole_ lot of explaining.

After hours of flying and of Sirius cursing the steady drizzle, he landed, exhausted, in front of the Potter house- just as he had the year before. But this time- he hoped to be staying permanently. James answered the door at the eightieth knock (he liked to take his time), looked Sirius up and down and threw the door open wider.

"I'll get your trunk for you mate," He muttered as he walked past a shivering Sirius.

"Wait- no 'why in the name of Merlin's knickers are you here?' type question? I had an excuse already planned in my head for you, you know!" Sirius asked in mock indignation, smirking as James dragged his trunk up the steps. James shook his head, his face splitting into a wide grin.

"I'm right peeved with you actually, Padfoot- you're late. We expected you weeks ago."

Sirius gave a booming, bark like laugh.

Needless to say James's parents were shocked at Sirius's sudden arrival. Mrs. Potter quickly made him a cup of headache inducing sweet tea.

"You poor dear," she tutted, slipping onto the couch next to her husband after pushing the mug into Sirius' hands. Her voice sounded a bit hoarse, like she'd been coughing a great deal, her nose was tinged red and she was quite pale. Sirius relayed his story to his waiting audience, James smirking at his description of his mother as a "loony old dinosaur."

"So you see- I kind of need a place to do all the basics- eat and sleep. So uh could I possibly-"

"You already practically live here m'boy," Mr. Potter cut in, his eyes twinkling.

"You're almost a second son by now," Mrs. Potter laughed, before beginning to cough up a lung. Mr. Potter put a hand on her shaking shoulder, his brow furrowed with concern. Suddenly both Potter's looked quite old to Sirius. He saw James give his mother an anxious look, but it was heavily disguised because of his presence.

"Er, are you alright Mrs. Potter?" Sirius asked awkwardly, fidgeting a bit in his seat.

"Oh q-quite fine dear, it's just a spot of flu is all," She answered, giving Sirius a weak, reassuring smile.

James still looked quietly worried.

* * *

><p><em> Mass muggle massacre. <em>

I bit my lip, the paper trembling slightly as I lent in closer to continue reading.

_29 muggles were killed earlier this week by unnamed dark wizards branding themselves "Death eaters". The ministry is still under an enormous amount of pressure to explain these deaths to the families of the murdered victims, with Obliviators working around the clock to adjust their memories. This new revelation has sparked panic in the community, as Death eaters steadily become more and more pronounced. He-who-must-not-be-named is still gathering followers at an incredible pace. This is the one of the worst calamities to happen so far- The Ministry can only hope it does not occur again any time soon. The Muggle prime Minister is claiming the mysterious deaths to be a deadly gas leak incident. Muggle-borns must be extremely cautious as "Death eaters" are targeting them and Muggles specifically- _

I stopped reading abruptly, crumpling the paper under my hands and squeezing my eyes shut with horror. I quickly paid the Delivery Owl, who was clicking his beak imploringly at me. Willa and Alice watched me anxiously, I shook my head solemnly. They both let out a large sigh of relief and continued eating their porridge. I knew they wanted to know if anyone they knew had gone missing. Well it was getting worse than just disappearances now wasn't it? I was almost too apprehensive to pursue the next few pages. Letting my pretend hunger get the better of me, I pushed the creased news paper down the table and began buttering myself some toast.

It was a month into my sixth year; the sky was a gloomy shade of gray and the ceiling overhead swirled ominously above us. I finished my toast in a rush, getting to my feet quickly, having made up my mind. Willa and Alice broke off their conversation with Estelle and Violet, (something about which Hogwarts ghost would have been the most handsome alive) to glance up at me curiously.

"I've got to send a letter- see you in History of Magic ok?" I said hurriedly, already half running out of the hall.

"Definitely Nearly-headless Nick, I can't see the Fat Friar young," Violet confirmed as I passed her.

"Ewww no! I say none of them! It's just too strange Violet! They're all _old_," Estelle countered.

The summer hadn't been much different to the last- although this time I got to visit Alice and stay over at Willa's house for a couple days. Another huge difference was that Severus wasn't in the picture at all. As I ran up the marble staircase, dodging first years- and noting how small they were getting- I began yanking out a piece of parchment from my bag, holding my recently retrieved quill in my mouth to do so. I burst into the Owlery, already scribbling away at my parchment.

_Dear mum, dad and Tuney, _

_Hope all is well over in Cokeworth and that Tuney is getting on with her new "Boyfriend". Missing you a lot, please write as soon as you can. I'm quite busy with school work- frogs don't transfigure themselves! I think I might go barmy if Professor Binns (My history teacher- the one who kicked the bucket and is still teaching) gives me another essay on Giant wars of the mid eighteenth century._

_Please keep yourselves safe and- well just don't go out after dark ok?_

_I'll write again soon,_

_Lily. _

I rolled it up with a flourish and beckoned to a snoozing Aster. She gave a sleepy hoot of greeting and flapped down onto my arm.

"I can't help feeling anxious Aster, so please get this to them quick," I instructed. Aster looked up at me with her big calming eyes and hooted softly again, holding out her leg steadily. I tied the letter to her and watched as she disappeared over the trees, obscured by gloomy gray clouds.

"Fancy seeing _you_ here Evans," said a familiar, arrogant voice from behind me. I felt a frown tug at the corners of my lips as I turned, my suddenly narrowed eyes falling on James Potter.

"It's the Owlery Potter- _everyone_ comes here."

James chuckled as he came and stood beside me.

"That's why I like you Evans- so observant," he said brightly.

I gave an exasperated sigh.

"What do you _want _Potter?"

"I thought you'd never ask Evans! I'm here to-"

"-tell me you've changed?" I finished dully.

James faltered slightly.

"If I say that, will it land me a date?"

"If you think the sixtieth times the charm- _sure._"

"Darn, caught red handed. Can't get anything past you can I, Evans?"

"You'd best hope not," I said dryly, turning to leave, James on my heels.

"Look- I'm a git, a giant ugly git- the biggest there is! I've changed Evans- I'm practically an angel with a blooming harp and halo now! Can we _please_ just start over?"

"Have you stopped torturing Snape and innocent students yet?" I asked casually as I walked down the spiral staircase.

"Uh- not exactly- but wait-"

"Then you're the same as you were last year, and the year before that, and the year before that."

I saw James run his hands through his already messy hair in frustration and felt a small, teeny tiny pang of guilt.

"Do you _want_ me to conjure up a pair of wings and play the harp in front of the _whole_ school to prove it to you Evans? Because I will, I'll even wear the white toga thing- and _sing._"

I let a laugh escape my lips before I could stop myself. James grinned roguishly from next to me.

"I can serenade you too if you fancy the idea- perhaps the song 'You Charmed the Heart Right Out of Me'."

I was laughing a lot now, shaking my head at him.

"I bet you don't even know the lyrics Potter," I teased as we got to the bottom of the staircase and headed in the direction of the History of Magic class room. His smile turned into the Cheshire cat's signature smirk and his eyes gleamed mischievously.

"Oh, you wanna bet Evans?" he said, looking very much like he was fighting the urge to laugh himself. I opened my mouth to protest, as we were walking through a corridor filled with students heading to lessons, but he didn't seem to care.

"Oh, my poor heart, where has it gone?

It's left me for a spell!

The charming, Lily Evans,

Has torn it quite apart!

But I don't care; I have affections to spare,

Oh, Miss. Tiger Lily,

You drive me quite silly!

So, I'll thank you,

Give me back my heart!"

I was laughing my head off by now- he was such a horrid singer. Students were stopping in their tracks to stare at us; some girls even threw me jealous looks. Why were they envious? James obviously wasn't born to sing. James folded his arms over his chest proudly, watching me laugh.

"See? I could be the next muggle heart throb if I really wanted to."

This made my laughter increase in volume.

"P-potter I don't think those are the right Lyrics!" I managed to gasp, smiling up at him- he was two inches taller.

"Rubbish! My mum listens to that song _every single_ _blooming minute_ of the day- I know my Celestia Warbeck by now thank you very much, Evans."

I shook my head at him, still grinning stupidly, as we went down another set of stairs.

"Alright- so I improvised a bit," James said giving in. "So will you believe I've changed _now?_"

I pretended to think about it as the classroom came into sight, Willa waving at me energetically before heading inside followed by Estelle, Violet and Alice- still bickering about the ghost thing.

"Nope, I'll believe it when I see it Potter," I said with a small smile before walking into the classroom.

"I'll take that 'no' as a try again later shall I?" he called after me.

* * *

><p><em>Let me guess Prongsie, you tried convincing Evans of your transformation?<em>

James read the dark scrawl, his trademark, trouble maker smirk on his lips.

_Of course Padfoot, I even serenaded her._ James replied in his slanting script, crumpling up the note and throwing it at the back of Sirius's head. Professor Binns droned on and didn't even seem to notice.

_Aha! And how did that work out for you lover boy?_

_Not well- I thought all girls liked Celestia Warbeck…_

_Oh Merlin, this is too good! As if your singing voice wasn't enough! You had to go sing her a soppy song like that! _

James saw Sirius's shoulders shaking as he stifled his loud laughter.

Remus suddenly lent over and slipped a neatly folded note onto James's desk.

_Honestly James, you shouldn't have sung to her. _Remus wrote in his clear, cramped writing.

_Are you telepathic or something Moony! _

_No, Sirius gave me your other notes. _Remus replied. Sirius was sitting in front of him. James quickly scribbled a note to Sirius.

_Traitor!_

Sirius turned in his seat to send James a wink and a canine-teeth-showing grin.

Remus was looking a bit peaky, as it was nearing full moon, but he still smiled slightly as he wrote down some notes.

_Hey Prongs, can we feed Snivillus to the giant squid tomorrow? _Came another note from Sirius, an abrupt shift in topics.

_Depends- would the giant squid be able to keep the oily haired oddball down? Oh- and what did Moony say?_

_He said "under no circumstances are you to feed another human being to the giant squid." So of course- we must do it. _

James paused then wrote his reply.

_As long as Evans doesn't see us committing the murder everyone will love us for, we can try and tempt the squid. _

Remus suddenly slapped his hand down onto the note before James could send it. James smiled sheepishly at him.

"You'll make the poor squid ill, and I advise you to not put another mark on your records!" He whispered.

"We weren't _really_ going to do it, besides if we did the squid would spit him back up, no problem."

"Why do I have trouble believing you?" Remus replied in mock exasperation.

"Because you're as sharp as a whip mate, couldn't fool you even if we tried, right Prongs?" Sirius said turning around again.

"Right you are Padfoot, can't get nothing past you, Moony."

"Hey Moony, since you're an intelligent chap, could you tell us if tomato sauce or pepper would make Snivillus more edible?"

Remus did not look amused.

When Remus returned back to his notes, and his attention fixed on Professor Binns's boring drawl, James tore off a fresh piece of parchment.

_Definitely tomato sauce Padfoot. _

* * *

><p>So sorry! Have to end it there!<p>

Until next time! I hope I've repaid you guys for the horrible crimes I've committed.

Toodaloo!


	12. Chapter 12: Earwax flavored bean

WHOO HOO! Chapter 12 is out people! This feels like an awesome milestone, right-right?

Anyway, I don't have much to say except- ENJOY! And there's still plenty left to be written, so the next one won't take as long to come out!

**P.S** ohhhhhh nooooo I forgot to put in the **other part for chapter ten** that I promised! BAD OWL EYES! *smacks with lamp* BAD! I've fixed that now! I'm sorry for any inconvience- because I promised it O_O but it's **there now!**

On with the torture- I MEAN STORY!

* * *

><p>"PEEVES! I swear if you don't drop my bag this INSTANT I'll-"<p>

"You'll what?" giggled Peeves. Willa glared such a strong, venomous glare that if Peeves had working organs, he would have been poisoned.

"_Willa,_ we're going to be late to Potions!" Alice said in exasperation.

"Don't you see I have a poltergeist to re-murder?" she snapped.

Peeves paled and immediately dropped her bag, I caught it expertly.

"Smart move Peeves," I called up at him.

"I'm a poltergeist- not STUPID!" he cried, blowing a raspberry at us before flying down the hall cackling.

"Wow Willa, I knew you were scary, but not as scary as the Bloody Baron," Alice said in awe as we hurried down the marble staircase.

Willa just grinned.

We were late, as Alice predicted we would be, but Professor Slughorn just beamed when he saw us and gestured warmly for us to sit down.

After reading the instructions thoroughly- and discerning that we were doing a befuddlement draught- I managed to get my potion simmering.

Alice was looking quite red in the face, her potion was bubbling furiously, white froth forming at the edges. She gave me a look of wide-eyed desperation.

As I leaned over to help her, telling her gently to cut her lovage as perfectly as she could, I spotted a tired looking Lupin.

He was telling Sirius and James off wearily for flicking rat spleens across the room at Severus.

I saw James give him a quick look of concern. When I sat back again I looked closely at Remus Lupin, Alice's potion simmering smoothly now.

His hands shook as he pounded his scurvy grass with a pestle, his eyes were blood shot and unfocused, he bit his lip and flinched at the loud crunch of the herbs in the small stone bowl. While Lupin was usually as pin neat as he could get, I noticed his hair was sticking up and his robes looked shabbier than usual- like the care they had been shown previously was slowly slipping away. I tilted my head to the side, narrowing my eyes as I examined him, unconsciously adding four leaves of sneezewort to my potion, making it turn a murky shade of khaki before becoming a misty lime green mixture.

He caught my eye, his own widened, a small flicker of anxiety flashing across his face. He hurriedly looked away, his brow furrowed, whispering frantically to a bemused James. This was even more suspicious.

It wasn't like I hadn't seen Remus in this state before, but it seemed I was only now noticing a small trend. I hoped that he wasn't ill briefly, but quickly squashed the notion- it didn't make much sense.

"Ah, perfect again Miss. Evans! Just what I'd expect from a member of the Slug Club eh? Such a jewel!" Professor Slughorn cried, making me jump a little in my seat as he peered at my foggy potion.

"Um, yes, thanks Professor," I answered, still a little dazed after being yanked off my train of thought so abruptly.

After the bell rang, I gathered my things at top speed, almost knocking Alice's potion flask onto the floor in the process- she had to dive to save her hard work from being splattered across the dungeon floor.

"What's the rush, Lily?" Willa asked, vanishing her potion with a small flick of her wand.

"I've got to get to the library!" I cried breathlessly in answer, hurrying out of the dungeon.

* * *

><p>Severus flinched every time a small, slimy spleen hit his cheek with a sickening splat, his eye twitching from annoyance and the effort it took to restrain himself.<p>

His hand was practically_ itching_ to curse Black and Potter to the moon and back.

He tried, almost desperately, to sneak sideways glances at Lily, who was seamlessly creating her potion, just across the dungeon from him- only to have a spleen catch him in the eye every time he tilted his head. Anger throbbed inside him like a swelling bruise- one that _never _seemed to disappear.

His life had been made a waking nightmare since he'd met Potter; he'd done his best to repay him for that- his wand buzzed with remembered hexes whenever that four-eyes was within spitting distance.

He had handled his personal torture fairly well when Lily still liked him, trusted him, and even branded him her best friend, such a golden role, one he had treasured. That was the dominant misery these days, those stupid words _"had" _and _"when"_. _When_ she still talked to him, he _had _been close to her.

And who was to blame for this new bruise?

Severus liked to pin it all on Potter; he'd blamed him for enough things in his life already, why not add losing Lily to the list? That impossibly long list that grew each year?

Dimly, Severus knew who was_ really_ responsible for her absence at his side. Hating Potter, loathing him with everything he had, made the loss less raw.

SPLAT. Another spleen hit Severus against the jaw, leaving a slimy residue against his cheek before slipping to the dungeon floor. Amused snickering reached his ears.

"Cut it _out_ you two, concentrate, for once in your lives, on what you're _supposed_ to be doing."

"Right then Moony, but only because you asked."

"I s'pose you have a point Moony, Prongs mate, lets not make Snivillus any oilier than he already is."

Another spate of amused sniggering followed these words.

"You two are _incredible_," Remus Lupin breathed wearily.

"Thanks Moony, that means a lot to us," Potter piped in.

More whispered laughter.

Severus wanted to shove Potter's head into his cauldron of befuddlement draught, right then and there. The only thing he'd regret about that?

That it wasn't poison.

Sadly, his nightmares would have to come to an end another way.

And it was as he rose to leave that a small, twisted upturn of his lips flickered across his face. The closest thing to a smile he would allow.

He knew _just_ the way to make Potter and his wretched friends disappear, as if they truly _were_ nothing but hated figments of his mind.

He left the dungeon, smiling, evilly, _triumphantly_, inside.

Lily wasn't the only one who noticed Remus Lupin's bloodshot eyes that day.

* * *

><p>I snapped the book shut, giving a mental shrug at what I'd just discovered.<p>

It didn't matter; it was as insignificant as chipping a nail. Only now I knew why he always became so sickly this time of the month. Remus Lupin was a good person, really, and I can only imagine what he goes through, and what he faces outside of Hogwarts.

I buried the new found information at the back of my mind, sealed away in a tight box, locked and bound with unyielding chains.

But something new had been added to my to do list for the evening.

After finishing an essay for Professor Kettleburn, who I was surprised could still mark homework, having recently lost one of his hands, I rifled around my trunk, elbow deep in rumpled robes.

"Aha!" I said, sitting back on my knees and smiling brightly at an extremely large box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans.

* * *

><p>"Uuuuuugh, Lily! I can still taste the earwax! Yuuuuuuck, I still don't understand why you made us <em>do <em>that!" Willa moaned the next morning.

"I did say I was very grateful for your help Willa," I said with a laugh.

"Stop whining like a wounded dog Willa, at least you didn't get a-a- oh Merlin- I can't even say the stupid _flavor_-" Alice shuddered, remembering the green bean vividly.

I cast her a sympathetic look and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you? It was important Alice; I didn't want to accidentally stick a disgusting bean in place…"

"It's fine Lily, as long as it cheers up whoever it goes to- it's worth it isn't it?"

I grinned, feeling a wave of relief. Willa nodded in agreement, although she still looked a little stormy- her expression hiding dark plans.

"Yes, it's worth it- but I'm _still _going to strangle old Bertie with my bear hands- you hear that you old codger! I'll make sure you regret ever creating an earwax flavored bean!" Willa cried to thin air, shaking her fist and making a couple of (tiny) first years squeak with fright and scurry to safety.

"Sorry about her!" Alice called after them.

"Hey! Why're you _apologizing_ about _me? _Wait, don't answer that."

I shook my head, listening contentedly to their banter as we made our way to Astronomy.

Not even thinking about unbinding that box's chains.

* * *

><p>Severus thought he'd imagined it. The slight delay, the <em>slight <em>recoil of Potter's wand. But that was just the thing he'd been waiting for.

"SEC-"

"Expelliarmus!" James cried at the last possible second.

It seemed that was his spell of choice for the evening, he'd been dancing around every curse Severus had sent his way, never retaliating, but acting as though every brain cell was screaming for him to lash out as best as he could. And still- he did not.

Severus's wand flew out of his hand as the two colliding spells sent Potter flying into a wall. His head made contact with the unforgiving stone, as Severus scrambled to find his wand. Springing to his feet, he saw that Potter was sprawled across the floor; limbs bent awkwardly, his head lolling to the side limply. He groaned and shifted slightly, only to shudder and stop moving altogether.

It was so early in the morning that it was almost night time; the moon was watery behind the high windows of Hogwarts.

Potter had already looked deflated, exhausted even, when Severus came upon him. Why, he had wondered, was the boy wonder wandering the corridors so late without his horrid friends?

"YOU SLIMY GIT!" roared a voice seemingly from nowhere. Sirius Black appeared, launching himself at Severus with such force, that the both of them were sent to the floor, growling and clawing at him like an animal.

"Get-get-OFF!" Severus yelled, tugging at the strong hands around his throat, kicking out violently- this was his version of the fight or flight principle- kick, scream, then run for it.

"You slimy foul insect! You coward!-" it seemed that Sirius couldn't stop spitting insults, his anger evident in every burning syllable.

"Sirius-" squeaked a timid voice from behind the two struggling boys.

Peter Pettigrew watched, his breathing wheezy, his eyes flickering from James' crumpled form, to his almost rabid-with-rage friend trying to beat the living daylights out of Snape; obviously _very_ tempted to high tail it straight out of there. He could very well do it too- James's invisibility cloak was clutched in his hands, silvery and smooth as water, it would be all too easy to throw it over himself and hurry away, leaving no trace he was present at all.

Severus managed to throw Sirius off him and get to his feet. Severus knew he was safe from a counter-attack, as Black would never leave the boy wonder when he was in that state.

Without a second thought- he ran.

* * *

><p>Remus sighed deeply, massaging his temples as he fell back against his pile of pillows. His body was a throbbing mass of aches and pains, even his eyelids seemed to sting. His hair was tangled and unkempt from running his fingers through it so many times. Every tiny sound was too loud for his ears to bear.<p>

But- he was used to every small twinge, to every burning muscle that seemed to suck at his energy, leaving him breathless and lethargic. Used to it all- he hated that he was, what kind of life was it when you became friends with pain?

"Remus dear, this is for you," Madam Pomfrey said, sounding slightly bemused as she bustled up to him, brandishing a mint colored card. Remus gave it a startled, wide eyed look.

James, Sirius and Peter visited him usually, not that they didn't send the occasional card- James always made sure they didn't forget to see him, and Sirius was always all too happy to discuss the nights events with him, attempting and succeeding to make him grin and laugh. Perhaps he did that to play down his wolfishness. Well- at least he had brilliant friends that more than compensated for stinging eyelids.

She handed him the card and, with a small smile, went back to her office.

It was a very large card; it was also a bit lumpy and thick. On the cover, in dark emerald ink, read the words "To Remus Lupin". Drawn delicately in the corners were small elaborate flowers. Remus studied the card somewhat apprehensively. The script was nothing like James' and Sirius' familiar scrawls or Peter's childish round lettering that was about as readable as a three-year-olds.

He opened the card gently, having always handled his possessions carefully, (unless he was nearing the full moon) and found a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Spelt out across the page in caramel and chocolate jelly beans were three simple words:

GET WELL SOON.

Taking one bean and popping it into his mouth, he then closed the card carefully and laid it down on his side table.

"Oh my! What happened Potter! Quickly, _quickly _now Black!" Madam Pomfrey's voice was urgent as she strode back into view.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming as fast as I can!"

"Sirius! _James!_" Remus cried, sitting up in his bed, examining James' bruised form, struck with a sudden, freezing jolt of horror.

Sirius deposited James as gently as he could onto the bed just next to Remus's own, looking grave, his wide eyes blood shot, his hands balled into fists at his sides. He was pale from exhaustion, but still he didn't take his eyes off James for one second, even to acknowledge Remus's presence. Remus was very much the same, all his aches and pains forgotten. They flew from his mind so easily too- it was like blinking an eye with his friend in such a state.

Madam Pomfrey hurried to attend to James, dabbing at his bruises and pressing her fingers to his neck, then sighing with relief and probing his arm.

Sirius and Remus watched her anxiously as she wrapped James's shattered limb- his Quidditch arm- in white fabric, tinged purple from the potion she'd slathered on it.

"It was a nice clean break; he's only got a couple of bruises on his head- _luckily_. He should be just fine," she said briskly after applying some potion to the two blossoming bruises on his forehead.

Sirius relaxed visibly, his shoulders lowering, his brow magically relieved of all creases that _so _didn't suit him. But his hands were still fists, and his knuckles were white from how tightly they were clenched.

It was then that Madam Pomfrey rounded on him; Sirius immediately took a step back, his hands raised in front of him, ready to defend his case as best as any muggle lawyer could- except that he was more skilled in the art of twisting the facts.

"In bed. Now, Mr. Black," She ordered, pointing to the bed at the other side of Remus.

"Errrr-why?"

"You look like a walking skeleton! No, you shall rest here; I'll personally excuse you from your first two lessons."

Sirius looked so relieved; he contemplated kissing the woman as he collapsed onto the unfamiliar infirmary bed. He decided against it almost instantly- she was much too old for him. Madam Pomfrey nodded appreciatively and left them to rest after grilling Remus with questions about how he was feeling.

When she was gone, Remus grinned feebly at Sirius.

"All three marauders in the hospital wing? Not a rare occurrence," he said.

"My dear Moony, we practically live in this bloody place," Sirius mumbled, muffled by the mattress.

A groan from James caught their attention and ended their short conversation.

"Ugh, blimey, did I take a bludger to the head again? Wait- did I take _two_ bludgers to the skull? Because it sure feels like it," he moaned, flinching and squinting around at his surroundings.

"Like I keep saying, you need brain cells to function properly James; I do not recommend taking another bludger or quaffle to the head again," Remus put in, nodding wisely. Sirius laughed wearily from where he was lying face down.

"It was that smarmy toerag Snivillus. That bloody arse is a foul coward, he pulled a spell when Prongs wasn't even fighting back- and by the sounds of it, it was a right nasty one too."

"Ah. I see." Remus answered, cottoning on quickly.

"That foul little cockroach- that was a low move, even for a manky prat like him...oh this is just_ great_. I'm turning into my _mother!_" Sirius groaned the last part.

"She does have a _great_ vocabulary," James said with a weak smirk in Sirius's direction.

* * *

><p>Well that's that! For now at least...<p>

Until the next chapter, thanks for reading!

Peace!


	13. Chapter 13: A hairy situation

And here's chapter 13! It's a bit bitty in places, but I hope it makes up for the late update. (I apologize!)

On with the story!

* * *

><p>"Now, now everyone, focus on your supersensory charms- remember the incantation, it must be said correctly," Professor Flitwick called to the class before rushing to help a nervous looking Peter Pettigrew. I cast him a long sideways glance. His watery blue eyes kept flickering around the room, resting on the door and then the windows. He was wringing his hands anxiously and chewing on his lip, looking strangely guilty and increasingly red in the face, his breath coming in sharp, wheezy gasps.<p>

"This is _horrible_ Violet!" Estelle whispered tearfully behind me.

"Oh, I know Estelle, it's just awful! Where do you think they are?" Violet answered dramatically.

Willa and Alice both stopped their conversation- which was centered mainly on how big Monty's (Willa's cat's) belly was getting.

"It really is getting bulbous Willa-" Alice started before being cut off at the knees.

"_What's_ so awful?" Willa asked abruptly, rounding on the two gossiping girls, her tone questioning and urgent, her eyes narrowed. Her best investigator expression.

Violet and Estelle gave her two incredulous wide eyed looks, the kind of look the rat gave me last year- before he was almost tossed out the window.

"Willa, how could you _not_ have noticed that Sirius isn't here?" Violet said, as if not noticing his presence was a crime against nature.

Now it was Willa's turn to have her eyes grow wide.

"They're- _what?_" she spluttered, immediately spinning around in her seat and scanning the room for the familiar wolfish smirk.

"That means Potter isn't here either," I said, realization dawning. Peter suddenly had a right to look so anxious.

There was no sign of James or Sirius for the remainder of the lesson. Quietly I was worried, discreetly fidgeting in my seat and biting my lip. My eyes strayed to the door of the classroom every free second they got.

The next lesson, Defense Against the Dark Arts, was spent in ignored anxiety.

* * *

><p>"Ok, let me get this straight- You, James and Peter were just a staircase away from Gryffindor tower, when Snape suddenly materialized? How did James end up in a fight with him? And Filch could have <em>heard<em> you!"

Remus cast James and Sirius an imploring look, his eyebrow raised in disapproval.

"Filch was too busy snogging his manky cat to care about us _devilishly _handsome adventurers, Moony," Sirius put in with a booming laugh, flashing his canine teeth. Remus sighed and shook his head, a small smile gracing his tired face.

"I dropped the map when Peter stumbled into me and stood on my foot, I had to get it," James said simply, flinching as he sat up, cradling his throbbing, purple tinted arm.

"Ah. That makes sense, so Snape just happened upon you at the last second?" Remus asked, turning his attention onto James. His tone was tinged with badly disguised guilt. James heard it stashed away in his voice almost instantly, but decided not to comment. A broken limb was almost as bad as a paper cut to him and wasn't worth shunning Remus over- besides, what's a couple bumps and bruises among friends? If anything it just fueled his hatred of Snape.

"Pretty much, the little blister was sending hexes Prongs way before either of them could even _insult_ each other. The little stinking prat," Sirius piped in, his words burning with a quiet rage when he mentioned Snape, even in passing.

"Er, what happened to Peter anyway?" Remus continued.

Sirius shrugged, but a small look of concern crossed James's features.

"I dunno, I think he ran off- that or he got hit with one of Snivillus's hexes."

This answer seemed to satisfy Remus.

"How long do you reckon it'll take for this to heal?" James asked, steering the conversation another way and peering down at his limp arm, his brow furrowed.

"Not much longer," said Remus, peeking under the bandages.

"That maggot Snivillus, of all the slimy things he's done-"

"Haven't you two hurt him enough in the past too?" Remus snapped.

"Yeah, little jinxes and hexes that were lucky to end him up in the hospital wing for ten minutes, let alone a whole _day_ of recovery!" Sirius thundered, "They were just enough to _torture_ him- not _hurt_ him mortally!"

Remus gave him a suffering look of objection which Sirius almost always chose to ignore- today was no different.

"You were planning to feed him to the giant squid!"

"Well, the poor thing does look a bit peckish Moony," James put in with a shrug of indifference, a crooked smirk playing on his lips.

"We didn't in the end though did we Prongs? We chose to put bubotuber pus in his pumpkin juice instead," Sirius said, half in defense in front of Remus and half in amusement.

"I thought that was because we couldn't get enough tomato sauce-" James started before being silenced by a mild glare from Remus.

The conversation soon faded into silence, Remus laid back wearily and James was still eyeballing his tingling arm darkly. Sirius's face was set into a hard grimace.

He had made up his mind. True, it wasn't the smartest thing to do. But even if it was petty and revealed the worst in Sirius, the Black in him, he would only ever regret it for one reason.

And that reason would never be because it almost killed a coward.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you were worried about me, Evans, I'm really touched."<p>

I rolled my eyes and tried to focus on the other players. Willa waved energetically at me from her broom, before speeding off to score a goal.

Behind me lay a twitching Peter- having been hit by a rogue bludger just a few minutes before.

"Shouldn't you be _practicing _Potter? And stop bringing that up! It's been a _month_," I said, gesturing wildly to the sky above the Quidditch pitch.

"Nah, I like standing here better. Breathing is good exercise, didn't you know?"

"Don't you _love _Quidditch? Go and catch a snitch or get hit with a bludger!" I countered, folding my arms, staring him down.

"I like standing next to you better, besides, I've taken way too many bludgers to the head already, ask anyone," James said, his hazel eyes twinkling.

I stifled a laugh and was suddenly very interested in the ground.

James glanced down at his watch and bit his lip, his gaze slipping to the darkening sky overhead. I followed his eyes, seeing only lavender sky and peach tinted clouds. It was odd for James not to be flanked by Black or Lupin and his discomfort at being without them was evident.

"Has-has Lupin been feeling better?" I managed to stutter, just to break the silence.

A month before, Willa had dragged Alice and I to the hospital wing to lecture Sirius about being absent. Of course we stumbled into Lupin there.

"Yeah- but, he's not been feeling well again- so-I-I can't really-"

"Prongs!"

We both jumped a foot in the air at the sound of Black's voice.

"That smarmy git's gonna get what's coming to him_ tonight_ thanks to me- oh, hello Evans," Sirius said, turning a smug face in my direction. I had frozen entirely, scanning him up and down, trying to make sense of his words. James had gone pale.

He moved forward and seized his arm, dragging him away from me- and out of ear shot. They immediately bent forwards, whispering hurriedly.

Peter gave a feeble groan from behind me.

"Did I fail Professor McGonagall! Please don't tell my mum!" he said, shooting into a sitting position and looking wildly around.

I sighed.

* * *

><p>James was caught in an internal war. Of course, a part of his brain was roaring with approval. Finally! A little fright would serve Snivellus well. And if he was traumatized enough not to spill his guts? Great!<p>

And the other half? This part of him was his hero-complex acting up. Already he felt the impulse to rescue the undeserving git.

And Remus? What about Remus? His nerves had stemmed from the very reason that training was taking longer than expected and Sirius wasn't there to rush with him to transform.

James didn't stop to think any more than he already had. Pushing his broom into Sirius' waiting hands, he rushed from the pitch, past a narrow eyed Lily and a wild eyed Peter.

The sky was darkening fast and the moon began to wink on in the distance.

He sprinted past the caretakers hut and up the slope to the Womping willow. How far did the little leech get! James thought, gritting his teeth and dodging flailing branches, diving into the trunk and kicking at the knot. The whipping brown limbs froze and James dived down the tunnel entrance. He landed on his stomach with a great _ooff._ He scrambled to his feet, swearing that he would kill Snivellus if he wasn't already dead or dying by the time he reached him. Hunched over and irritable James reached the dusty stairs, scraped and splintery- and who did he see hurrying up them?

"Snape! Get back here!" James hissed, scrambling after him. _Do you have a death wish you giant prat?_ He thought angrily.

"Get away from me Potter!" he grunted in reply. There came a loud ear piercing scream from behind the first door on the landing. James's blood froze as his ears picked up more growls, agonized screams and the head splitting sound of ripping fabric.

This seemed to only excite Snape. He rushed to the rickety old door and began pulling on the dented doorknob. The snuffling growls and scrape of claws ceased suddenly as werewolf Remus listened intently to the noise. James swore under his breath before launching himself forward. He tackled Snape to the wooden floor, skidding towards the stairs. The door flew open with a great bang, its hinges clinging desperately to the frame. Snape struggled under James, kicking out violently. James clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Shut up!" he hissed, his eyes boring into him. Snape paled, but didn't stop his attempts to see Remus fully. James rolled and sent them both thumping down the flight of stairs, Snape swearing in his ears on every step. Remus howled and made to pursue them, slipping clumsily down the ravaged staircase.

They hit the bottom with a great bang, sending a jolt through each limb.

"Get up! GET UP!" James said, jerking Snape to his feet by the collar of his robes and dragging him down the tunnel.

"Let-let _go _of me Potter! Gerroff!" he choked, his hand fumbling for his pocket and closing around his wand as another blood thirsty howl rent the stale air.

James grabbed Snape's wrist, twisting it around and glaring daggers at him as the thump of werewolf paws thundered in the tunnel. He plucked the wand easily from his grip, making Snape claw at his face in an attempt to retrive it. As James struggled along with his unwilling baggage, moving inhumanly fast, he kept his shoulder in front of Snape's face or obscured his vision by shoving him into a wall so he could never see Remus. Werewolf Remus was very intent on his prize, but also disoriented by the tunnel, stumbling into walls and howling like an injured hound.

Finally with an almighty shove and a kick to the backside James got Snape out of the tunnel ahead of him. He leapt out, hoping that Remus would have gotten bored by now.

Snape was sprawled out on the moist grass, but as soon as James came into view he jumped to his feet, pushing him to the ground and wrenching his wand from his hand, pointing it randomly at his face.

For a split second James looked at him calmly, but already there were growls coming from below the tree trunk. He kicked Snape off him roughly.

Snape scrambled to his feet and ran full tilt to the castle. He didn't bother to look back.

The tunnel burst open and a growling wolf emerged, bearing his teeth, his eyes bright in the moonlight.

Thinking fast, James transformed, and raised himself high on his hind legs, bringing them down forcefully on the ground in front of Remus's face. Remus scrambled back into the tree with another throaty growl, James repeated the action and sent Remus sprinting for the forest.

A streak of black and a smudge of brown followed him, Sirius's dog like bark assaulting James's twitching brown ears.

James followed at a dignified trot, his mind on the task at hand.

* * *

><p>And that was chapter 13! I apologize for any mistakes ^_^ I hope you enjoyed it- all will be properly revealed in chapter 14, so if you didn't understand, it'll become clear then.<p>

Thanks!


	14. Chapter 14: Red sweater

Woo! Chapter 14, now we're getting somewhere! I think this is a bitter sweet chapter, it's not very christmas-y I'm afraid, but then it doesn't have to be to make this a merry x-mas~

Well I'm sorry if this was a bit late, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

ON WITH THE CINEMATIC _DRAMA! _

* * *

><p>As Sirius watched James run from the pitch, his teammates calling after him, he began to realize just how stupid his actions had been. But slowly.<p>

Very very slowly.

Snape might deserve every inch of what he was about to get, but Remus was sure to be exposed, all because Sirius had said something stupid during a blind rage to him.

At first he thought it might be his best prank to date, but no, it was foolish. It was like Remus wasn't in his mind at all.

Well... he was sure to get an earful in the morning.

Sirius hurried over to Peter, who still seemed to be dazed.

"Come on Wormtail! We don't have time for you to visit nutter land!"

"What are you doing Black? Where did Potter just run off to? What's going _on?_" Lily's dulcet tones interrupted Sirius's attempts at talking sense into Peter.

He turned, forgetting that he had a broom sticking over his shoulder. It promptly caught Peter over the head with a dull thump. He keeled over, almost hitting his head against the bench up.

Today was just not his day.

"It seems-uh- well- isn't it obvious Evans? Prongs just had to visit the loo- yeah-that's what he's up to. The loo." Sirius finished lamely.

Lily did not look convinced. She folded her arms and arched an eyebrow, as if saying; "Really Black? The loo?".

Sirius gritted his teeth and decided to ignore her.

"Come on Wormtail! Now's no time for some beauty sleep- and honestly mate, it wouldn't help," Sirius said upon spotting Peter's twitching form.

After hauling Peter to his feet, using rather unorthodox methods (holding a chocolate bar over his nose), he attempted to get around a very suspicious red head.

"Ok Evans, I need to be the angel I am and get my mate to the hospital wing. The poor fellow can't risk losing anymore IQ points," Sirius said, offering up his best grin. Peter groaned from where he was slumped over his shoulder.

Lily's sharp green eyes flitted from one boy to the next, weighing up her options. How far could she stick her nose into this? How much was she allowed to probe out of them?

Finally she sighed.

"Don't you have a friend you need to help out? The one probably stuck in the _'loo'?_"

Sirius gave her a gratified look before speeding off in the same direction as James had.

* * *

><p>It's official. I am too nice for my own good.<p>

But I wasn't thinking of Black or Pettigrew (who had a surprisingly strong skull). I was thinking of James and racking my brain trying to remember the cycle of the moon. The waning and waxing.

But it _couldn't _be the full moon! Not so _soon_.

Whatever it is that they're up to, it's probably another prank. One that was likely to make Snape miserable or his whole house- give or take.

That's what it normally was.

I leaned back against the benches, watching the Quidditch team above me go on with practice. The captain didn't look too pleased at James's departure.

Even from where I was watching, I could see Willa's narrowed eyes following Sirius across the pitch.

* * *

><p>"Promise me now, Mr. Snape, that you will <em>not<em> say a word about what you have glimpsed tonight. Not to anyone. Promise me," Professor Dumbledore said, his blue eyes boring into Severus like a muggle drill or a niffler burrowing into the earth. He stared back defiantly, but didn't dare disagree.

It would have to be his word or nothing.

The man before him had an incredibly annoying habit of knowing things you thought were hidden. When Severus had come banging on his doors like a mad person, when he had recounted the entire episode in excruciating detail to him, none of it fazed his Professor. Severus had hoped for _at least_ one raised eye brow! A quirked brow that signaled that _someone _was going to be expelled.

The expression never came.

"Fine. I won't tell anyone. Like I have many people I'd break this promise for anyway," He answered bitterly, folding his arms and slumping back in his chair. A smile flickered across his headmaster's features. It was a _knowing _smile.

"I shan't ask you to thank Mr. Potter for his bravery. That is something you will have to endeavor on your own. But, am I correct in saying that it probably will not happen?" Professor Dumbledore asked, stroking the flaming red plumage of the Phoenix perched in front of his desk.

"No," Severus answered simply. Not over his dead body.

Potter had saved his own hide tonight and had simply dragged him along for the ride. That was his conclusion. That was what happened. It couldn't be anything else. It just couldn't be.

"Very well. You may go. Good night Mr. Snape."

Severus rose from his seat and almost tripped over himself to get out of Dumbledore's office.

* * *

><p>"I didn't know how much information I could wheedle out of them," I finished with a sigh, leaning back against the pillows and staring into the fire place.<p>

Willa had bombarded me with questions as soon as her feet brushed the ground after Quidditch practice. The girl never missed a beat.

The common room was empty except for a few other sixth years. Alice was still at the Library studying with Frank.

Willa scratched Monty's upturned belly thoughtfully. The fat cat was basking in the warmth from the fire, purring like a lawn mower.

"There's a _limit?_ You learn something new everyday," Willa said finally, sounding profoundly shocked.

"There is most definitely a limit, Willa."

Willa shrugged, looking amused as she continued to fuss over Monty.

"You know, he used to be fat, but now he's more than a just a porker," She stated, poking him in the side. He didn't even budge. He just opened one lazy amber eye. I shook my head, the corners of my mouth quirking up.

"Anyway, back to business. We know they disappear on a regular basis, but we don't know why. We know they acted suspiciously the first half of last year-"

"That's hardly passable evidence. Black always has something to hide," I pointed out.

"That makes him especially fun to investigate doesn't it?"

I just laughed and folded my arms.

My eyes settled on the window nearest me. White flecks of snow could be seen drifting peacefully behind it, stark against a black cloak of stars. The window pane was artistically dusted with frail white powder and the howling wind suggested that a biting chill had arrived at Hogwarts. The first layer of December snow.

The few people left over in the common room began to stretch and yawn. Before I knew it the circular room was empty. Willa said something that I didn't catch as I felt my eyes begin to droop. She sighed but that was all I heard before I fell asleep. Coaxed by the soft crackle of the fire and throaty hum of a fat cat purring.

* * *

><p>They got in earlier this time.<p>

Peter shivered and the chatter of his teeth set them all on edge as they crept into the common room. They had managed to get Remus back to the shack and out of the snow that was quickly becoming a mini blizzard. Their presence calmed him down enormously and for once, werewolf Remus seemed keen just to doze on the dusty, ripped four-poster. James had almost refused to leave him, as Remus had not yet transformed back.

Sirius convinced him to leave in the end. Remus would be alright on his own, huddled in the shack snapping at any rat stupid enough to scuttle past. Madam Pomfrey would come fetch him in about six hours.

Sirius was somber for once, but James wasn't angry with him. He never was. He didn't feel like sleeping, strangely enough. Sirius looked to be lost in thought as he tugged a half concussed and frozen Peter up the boys' dormitory stairs.

"You go ahead, I think I'll just warm up a bit before I sleep," James whispered to him.

Sirius simply nodded.

"Don't take too long. We have transfiguration first. It's tough to catch a nap when Professor McGonagall is breathing down your neck," He answered.

Peter just chattered.

James sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, biting his frost bitten lip and slumping into an open arm chair near the fire.

Tonight had been too close. Too close for comfort. But Remus was unharmed and undiscovered, as far as James knew, so he calmed considerably. The fire still had some life in it and warmth rolled over James as he stretched out in front of the small flames.

Winter. James didn't care much for the cold. He pushed his glasses up his nose with one hand but didn't realize that he was still combing his fingers through his hair with the other. It was then that he spotted who was sitting across from him.

He almost opened his mouth to say something when he noticed that she was asleep. He looked at Lily for a long time, memorizing her face. She never did look him in the eye when she was awake. Scarlet hair, long eyelashes, and a forehead that wasn't creased with thought. That's what he'd remember.

He wanted to talk to her, but thought better of it.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, I found a red sweater draped over me. I held it in my hands, scanning the common room. It was the warm, hand knitted kind. The fire had long died out and the watery morning light had already consumed the common room. At some stage in the night Monty had crept onto my lap. He looked up at me now, blinking and mewing, trying to dig his claws into the sweater.<p>

I held it out of his reach.

Whoever's it was, I didn't think they'd appreciate getting only the sleeve back. I sat up and stretched, much to the annoyance of Monty, who leapt to the ground hissing at me angrily before stalking off.

I gave the sweater another curious glance before taking it with me to my dormitory, hiding it in my trunk.

* * *

><p>At breakfast later that day, I felt a gentle tap on the shoulder. Well, actually, it was more like a potato sack had dropped onto my arm joint.<p>

"Erm, excuse me? I've got somethin' to tell yeh, if yeh would jus' come with me," coughed the familiar voice of Hagrid the grounds keeper.

Willa stopped firing questions at Alice about why she got back so late from her study session to give me a curious look. I glanced back, before transferring my attention to the large man behind me.

"Sure Hagrid," I said, getting to my feet and following him out of the hall.

We stopped outside in the enterance hall.

"How's the schoolin' going?" He asked, giving me a bushy haired smile.

"Alright," I answered, curious to why the care taker needed to talk to me.

Hagrid shuffled nervously.

"If yeh' would jus' come to meh' hut, there's somethin' I need to show yeh, if yeh're finished in there?" He said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder to the Great Hall. I nodded slowly. This was all he needed. We trooped the short distance to his hut through the ankle deep snow.

I settled into a chair around his table and grinned at his boarhound as he came near, reaching over and scratching him behind the ear.

"What's his name Hagrid?" I asked.

Hagrid grinned.

"Fang. Ain't he beau'iful?"

"Very," I laughed. "So- why'm I here again Hagrid?"

Hagrid's smile disappeared.

"It's a shame, really. But it was snowin' somethin' awful las' night, an' I don' think there was much I could've done for the poor thing. But I tried the bes' I could."

I went numb but kept my eyes on Fang, who rested his head on my lap and proceeded to drool. My mind froze like the black lake outside, blocking out the swarm of possibilities.

I heard Hagrid walk somewhere in his hut and bustle back to the table. I lifted my gaze an inch and saw him gently place a small bundle on the table before me. Whatever it was, it was wrapped in a checkered tea towel.

I reached out a shaky hand and tweaked the edge. A small hooked claw was revealed. I gasped and snatched my hand back, biting my lip and pinching the bridge of my nose to stop the spontaneous tears.

"I'm sorry abou' this Lily."

"It's- it's ok Hagrid," I managed to say shakily.

"She was deliverin' this."

He slid a white envelope across the table. The reply from my parents.

I pocketed it, keeping my eyes trained on Aster's limp form.

* * *

><p>Ohhhh I ended it on a sad note didn't I? No worries all will be remedied in the next chapter! Drumroll please for chapter 15! Slowly getting on with the story, it will be finished! (*sniffs* but I will miss Lily when I'm done, hopefully I've got a while yet! And I can write more with her too XD)<p>

Thanks for the veiws and favorites and alerts, _really_ thank you! ^_^

Have a nice x-mas everybody!

HO HO HO HO HO- *coughs* HO!


	15. Chapter 15: Cloud Eleven?

My christmas present to all you lover-ly readers, I sincerely thank all of you! This chapter is very light hearted, a little less heavy.

James: yeah, it's nice to get a break from this slave driver of an author.

OwlEyes: I am so NOT a slave driver! *shocked*

Lily: I agree with James, it's so nice to get a rest from all this over-acting.

OwlEyes: *Even more shocked* Over...acting...?

Sirius: Why am I always in trouble with Moony slave driver writer?

OwlEyes: Uhhhh because uhhh- why am I the villian here!

Lily: *pats shoulder* deep breaths now OwlEyes.

A-anyway, on with the hopefully fluffy story. May it warm you up inside like boiling butterbeer :D

* * *

><p>Willa let out a low whistle.<p>

"Talk about depressing…"

I nodded, swiping at my eyes again. I had been rubbing at my eyes so much these past few minutes that they've turned raw.

Willa put a hand on my shoulder, but didn't say anything more.

Alice didn't seem to know what to say either.

"But really, it's ok. It began snowing a lot last night, so…" I managed to say, but I swallowed the words quickly.

We made our way up the girls' staircase and into the dorm in complete silence. Sprawled out on my bed was the red sweater from earlier that morning. Willa plopped onto the bed with a deep sigh. Alice sat neatly near the edge. My trunk was still open from this morning. I went to shut it but found my hand freezing on the lid, my mouth hung open as I stared down into its depths.

"Willa- uh... I think…in my trunk…?"

Willa was at my side in a flash, her eyes followed my gaze automatically.

"Merlin's pants!" She cried. "I'm a grandmother!"

"What! What is it- Monty's a _girl!_" Alice cried, rushing to our side and spotting the fat cat.

Monty mewed proudly up at us, licking his-_her_- five pink nosed kittens tenderly.

Willa laughed.

"That sure explains the mood swings!"

Alice shook her head disbelievingly.

"And I thought she was just _fat_. Sorry err- Monnie?"

Willa plucked at a black robe underneath her, Monnie hissed, but didn't abandon her babies.

"Sorry about your robes Lily," Willa said as she got to her knees and cooed at the tiny blind newborns.

I just blinked and, deciding that the best emotion for now would be acceptance, smiled.

"It doesn't matter. But I bet she was _super _comfy."

* * *

><p>"I know, I know- <em>Sirius, I am very disappointed in you! Do you know how idiotic that was? You could have gotten in big trouble! I can't believ-<em>"

"Stop imitating me, that's not what I was going to say at all."

"Seriously! Because I completely deserve it! I am an utter git; I deserve to be sent to the dog house! Just toss me into Azkaban and swallow the manky key- wait- _don't_ do that. I'm not _that_ guilty_._"

Remus just laughed and shook his head.

"I ought to do just that Padfoot-_but _because you're my best mate and I can't risk choking on that key, I won't. Consider your life spared," James laughed, clapping a hand onto a dumbstruck Sirius's shoulder.

"You couldn't _do_ that to the female population anyway, Prongsie; trust me, you _do not _want depressed crazies roaming around the place."

James just laughed heartily.

"You _did_ live half your life with your mother, so I guess you're trustworthy enough."

"You bet I am. It's especially terrifying when they're trying to strangle you. But you get over it after the seventh time."

They were paying a visit to Remus, who seemed weak, but pleased to see them all the same. They had just finished explaining the whole ordeal from the night before to him, with only Sirius and James interrupting each other with their usual frivolous banter.

Peter didn't say a word throughout the whole conversation. Being half concussed did that to people.

Sirius did apologize but couldn't help but chuckle.

Peter was sitting in his usual bed, holding a lumpy icepack on top of his mousy hair while he waited for Madam Pomfrey to find the right potion. He had a rather dazed look on his face.

James scanned the infirmary with a sort of hushed affection.

They truly did live here.

So much so, that Madam Pomfrey didn't yell at them half as much anymore.

She had officially given up, they were obviously here to stay.

* * *

><p>After fussing over a glowing Monnie, Willa returned to quizzing Alice.<p>

"Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Not in a million years. Not if cheese cauldrons _finally_ begin to sell, not if Peeves proposes to the Bloody Baron, not if Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick do a waltz, not if-"

"They definitely snogged a bit," Willa said, nodding wisely.

"Never miss a beat do you, Willa?" I asked, shooting a sympathetic smile Alice's way. She glowed red.

Willa flopped back onto my bed, landing on the red sweater.

"What's this then?" She said, curiously holding it up. Alice joined her on the bed and took hold of a sleeve, examining it closely.

"It's not yours," she said finally, looking me in the eye.

I saw two scenarios just then. One was where I grabbed it out of their hands and tried unsuccessfully to hide the blood rushing to my cheeks with it. I didn't even know _why_ I was so flustered over a _sweater._

The other situation was the one I chose.

I decided to stutter through a calm response.

"Well- you see- I- I found it. I don't know who it belongs to-"

"James Potter," Willa said simply.

"What! How'd you figure that out- are you just saying that to baffle me? You know it's starting to get-"

"Tedious?" offered Alice.

Willa just laughed.

"There's a _name tag._"

"Oh."

Alice stifled a laugh as she handed the sweater over to me.

It had a simple hand-written name tag. Other than the glaringly obvious name staring up at me, it was the same hasty scrawl that James often wrote in.

"It's no fake, that, ladies, has touched the golden boy. Now we just need to figure out how it ended up in our dear Lily's possession," Willa stated, only adding to my embarrassment. I didn't see how I couldn't have guessed who it belonged to.

"I _woke up_ with it over me," I said quickly, feigning a normal breezy exterior.

"Well you won't have a chance to return it to him; everyone's heading home for the holidays in two days," Alice added.

"There's always the next Hogsmeade trip," offered Willa. "I'll come with you as I suspect Alice already has plans."

Alice flushed a another nice shade of crimson.

"Then it's settled, I'll do it then. Thanks Willa," I said with a small smile.

This should be interesting.

* * *

><p>"You got enough there Moony?" James laughed as Remus paid.<p>

He hefted the bag off the counter, thanked Mrs. Flume, and looked at James seriously.

"I think so."

"You sure?"

Remus looked in the paper bag.

"Yep, I'm positive."

"Good."

The little bell chimed as they left Honeydukes.

The Christmas break had been peaceful for him, well as peaceful as a Christmas with the marauders could ever be. That wasn't very peaceful at all.

He still found it a relief just to wonder around Hogsmeade, even though he should have been thoroughly bored with it by now, being a sixth year.

As soon as they were outside in the snow and chill, they noticed a small group of girls cooing and_ awwwing_ near them.

"He's so cute!" clucked one of the girls James knew to be named Estelle.

James tapped the girl on the shoulder in his best gentlemanly manor.

"What's this then?" he asked, grinning. Remus rolled his eyes. The girl immediately burst into a fit of giggles.

It was then that James's eyes fell on a black dog sitting in the snow, his eyes bright as he let the surrounding girls pet him. They all fussed over him like he was a newborn baby. Draped around the shaggy young dog's neck was an old Gryffindor scarf.

Remus followed his gaze and couldn't keep himself from sighing and kneading his forehead with his free hand.

"Do you know him James?" asked another giggly girl named Violet, who was petting Sirius's head fondly.

_Oh, I know him alright_, James laughed inside. He couldn't help but let yet another crooked grin slide onto his features.

"Yeah. He's a stray I think."

"Ohh how awful!" cried a girl from Hufflepuff.

"He's so lovely, I'd adopt him," said her friend, who had a very long braid.

"I bet you would," muttered Remus under his breath. This earned a chuckle from James.

"You'd have to name him," Estelle said to the girl with the braid.

"I've got the _perfect_ name, how about… Snuffles?" James offered. Inside he was bursting at the seams with laughter. Even Remus snorted.

Sirius looked at him like he had suddenly gone mad.

"_Snuffles!_ How adorable!" cooed all four girls.

"Cute dog Potter, he yours?" asked a new voice. James almost jumped right out of his shoes. Remus however didn't seem at all surprised.

"Hello Willa, how have you been?" he asked with a small smile.

"Brilliant, thanks for asking. That's a lot of chocolate you've got there Lupin," she said, mirroring his expression. Remus just shrugged, but his smile grew substantially.

"Willa, you must be a ghost or something because you just keep disappearing-" Lily stopped short, seeing James. James grinned goofily and waggled his fingers at her. Her lips twitched as she tried to keep from laughing.

Willa gave James a little shove.

"The girl has something she needs to talk to you about genius," she said briskly. "Get a move on, it's not good to keep a lady waiting."

"Ok, ok, blimey, you're one mad bird you know that?" James muttered, walking to Lily's side. Lily's cheeks burned, but she grabbed his wrist all the same and dragged him off. "Dragged" is used very loosely here, as James came very _very_ willingly, still grinning like an idiot.

During all this "Snuffles" looked very intently at Willa and had been lingering near her curiously.

She grinned and knelt down, scratching him behind the ear. At this "Snuffles" put his paws on her shoulders heavily. Willa wobbled, not expecting the action at all and promptly lost her balance. Next thing she knew she had a large shaggy dog on top of her. She spluttered and laughed. All the other girls seemed amused and began fussing and cooing to him in baby talk again.

She didn't see Remus do another eye roll.

* * *

><p>James would never admit it. He wouldn't ever repeat it out loud. Heck, he wouldn't even fully say so in his <em>head<em>.

But he now fully realized that he didn't need a broom to get him to cloud nine.

Lily was looking determinedly ahead as she walked along, clutching his wrist lightly.

"We could go to the three broomsticks? If you want," James asked, looking at her profile.

"Ok, um, what I want to talk to you about- it won't take long…" She said, finally glancing his way.

Cloud ten here we come.

"Nah, it wouldn't matter anyway Evans, I've got time to spare and everyone likes butterbeer."

He seriously reckoned at this point in time that he wouldn't have cared if she wanted to take _five _hours of his time. She could even have seven.

He honestly would not have cared a sickle.

"Alright then…" She said, looking down at the muddy snow.

James grinned brightly and became the leader.

"After you m'lady," he said opening the door to the Three Broomsticks for her, wiggling his eyebrows in a comedic fashion and bowing low.

"Corny, but appreciated, thank you," she said with a small laugh.

* * *

><p>The situation was strangely unnerving.<p>

I hoped hysterically that James wouldn't think this was a date.

I even started worrying about how tightly I should hold his _wrist_ for heavens sake. I didn't look him in the eye if I could help it. His glowing smile was fully in place and it was hard not to stare. I paid for my own butterbeer despite his protests. I saw him flash Madam Rosmerta a thumbs up when she saw me at his side. She laughed and shook her head.

I felt my cheeks burn, but I didn't comment. He grabbed my hand, holding it gently and steered me over to a table. I didn't protest because I was too busy worrying that I had a fever of some kind.

"Now what's troubling your pretty little head?" he said settling into a seat and looking me straight in the eyes.

I needed to see Madam Pomfrey as soon as possible. His gaze made me feel oddly dizzy and light headed. There was no way I could think straight.

What was I doing again?

* * *

><p>James was rather enjoying himself. He knew this was no date, but he didn't see the harm in thinking it was.<p>

He was humoring himself shamelessly.

He worried she'd feel how sweaty his palms were when he held her hand and he didn't want to crush her in his grip either.

So it was with great relief and reluctance that he let her go and settled into a seat across from her. Deciding that this was no time to lose his "cool" he spoke first.

"Now what's troubling your pretty little head?"

He flinched inwardly but kept looking at her intently.

She looked lost for a few seconds before coming back to herself.

"Well you see- ah, hold on a moment," she suddenly began rifling around in her side bag, a curtain of wavy scarlet curls hiding her face.

When she sat back she was holding a crimson sweater. It was folded neatly and seemed to match the color of her face.

James recognized it right away and couldn't stop his eyes widening guiltily.

"So it _is_ yours," she said, noticing right away and brightening considerably. She handed it to him across the table.

"Thanks," James said, taking it gratefully and hoping that she didn't delve deeper into the matter. He drank from his butterbeer to hide his nervousness and his hands twitched. He wasn't sure how convincingly he could lie to her again.

Especially if she was looking at him so attentively like that.

* * *

><p>His bright hazel eyes widened behind his glasses and I knew the answer straight away.<p>

"So it _is _yours!" I said my smile growing as wide as it could get.

I handed it to him, trying to ignore the fact that my fingers brushed the side of his hand. Trying but failing obviously. I could see he was trying hard not to run his fingers through his hair from nerves. Why did that simple action have to attract so much affection?

"Thanks," he answered before drinking deeply from his butterbeer.

"I woke up with it over me… James? If you drink so fast you'll-"

He promptly began to choke on the drink.

* * *

><p>James James James James James, she said his <em>name<em>. After he finished choking that was all he could think about.

"You said my _name_," he said, astonished. He thought he'd always be Potter. Potter said in an angry, weary, annoyed voice. Not James said in a casual, nice, almost _caring_ way.

Cloud eleven watch out.

Lily immediately looked at the table, furrowing her brow.

"O-of course I did! It's your _name._"

James had been smiling a lot that day. But he found himself grinning even more now.

"Now stop stalling and answer my question…please."

"I don't think it's much of a crime to go and sit in front of the fire in the middle of the night, do you?" he answered casually.

Lily stared at him. He instantly looked at the ceiling.

"You watched me _sleep?_" she said incredulously.

"If you put it _that _way I sound like a right creeper."

* * *

><p>Next chapter we'll try for <em>cloud twelve<em> everybody!


	16. Chapter 16: Dusty butterbeer

**OK! I did a bit of an edit on chapters 3 and 4 because- get this- I GOT TED'S AGE WRONG. I'm so sorry if this is confusing, but it's all been fixed and Willa's letter to Lily has been tampered with to suit the changes. **

Nymphadora was** actually** born in Lily's third year, so with some guesswork here and there, I'm guessing Ted was **22** when she was born, and he married Andromeda after Willa's first year. If I've got it wrong, I'd like to be told ^_^ I'm trying to keep it as accurate and canon as possible. SO- now Willa's in 6th year, so Ted's **24** and Tonks is **2**! YAY I can do maths! I really suck at maths -.-" Ted is now 8 years older than Willa. AS IT SHOULD BE!

Thank you for your paitence! (and please, if you're suddenly a bit lost, go back to chapter 3 and 4, I didn't change the whole thing, but Willa's letter is worth re-reading.)

* * *

><p>When I got back to Willa she was quite soaked through. Her sleeves were dark and dripping and her hair looked mysteriously damp from the back.<p>

"What happened to you?" I asked, looking her up and down. She must be freezing.

"O-oh, n-nothing much, h-how d-did it g-go?" she answered, pulling her coat tighter around her and glaring at the snow on the ground.

"O-oh…it-it went well- hey shouldn't we be heading back to school now? Before you turn blue?" I said quickly. Willa grinned and agreed heartily.

I looked at the crunchy snow under my feet as we went and couldn't help but smile. It was almost sad saying goodbye to James.

There was a reluctance in our hurried "see you around's" that I hadn't heard before today. I laughed so much during the last half of our conversation that I went hoarse. And for once, I didn't think of much else but him and the sound of his voice- how I never wanted it to stop talking.

The street of Hogsmeade is so beautiful during winter, almost like a postcard. The little slanted roofs and humble buildings were all covered with thick powdery snow and the windows were caked with the stuff. They reminded me strongly of plump cakes or gingerbread houses, and the white flakes were simply glittery sugar or thick icing.

The thin layer of snow on the ground gleamed a warm watery gold in the half light of the afternoon. The sky swirled with all shades of gray and didn't show even the barest crack of the sun cowering behind it.

But somehow, in spite of how gloomy the weather was, or how bitter the chill, I still felt like the sun was shining happily and the wind was warm with the long forgotten summer.

It was an odd mood. I don't remember feeling something quite like it.

No, I suppose I'm lying, it's a surprising habit to slip into- even after your mouth has spoken nothing but the side slashing truth ever since you could remember.

I felt it when I was with Severus. But now, in my eyes, for some reason, when I think his name all I see are wilted daisies. I know they just need some water but I still can't help but feel so achingly sorry for them.

His eyes seem forever shrouded in shadow with dark bags coloring his pale skin a light bruised indigo. They speak stories of sleepless nights and furtive discussions by dying embers. His mouth is stretched tight and his cheeks are shallow and gaunt. His mouth shapes a word beginning with the letter M and abruptly the image of him shatters in my mind.

_You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine. _

Willa waved across the street at Alice, who was standing with Frank outside Zonko's, their breath coming out in little clouds of shimmering mist. He took her hand and grinned at Willa. He held it so gently, like he was afraid he'd snap her bones. Alice blushed and beamed back.

"Well, all stories seem to have a happy ending today," Willa said brightly when they were out of sight.

"Quite frankly, I don't think much of a sad ending."

I nodded dazedly, still deep in thought. Willa remained silent for a few seconds and for once she didn't seem to be cottoning on to my thoughts.

She's been doing it less and less lately.

Besides- she seemed lost in her own.

* * *

><p>"Bloody hell Moony, why for all that is mad in this world, didn't you <em>stop <em>me?"

Remus chuckled and put down his butterbeer with a dull clunk- not that he'd been drinking it.

"I didn't think you'd tackle her to the ground. Besides you were a dog at the time, what was the harm? It gave me a good laugh later on."

Sirius had his face in his hands and was slowly kneading his forehead.

"I suppose you're right, as usual Moony," He said without a hint of resentment, he sounded extremely relieved.

"But you don't think she'll-"

"No, I don't think she'll guess you were the dog. Some things are too fantastical, even for theories. No one would guess it," Remus answered thoughtfully.

Sirius calmed down considerably and went back to scrutinizing his butterbeer.

Remus scanned the dark bar for the fourth time that they'd come in.

It was dank and dust coated every surface thickly. Clinging to the rafters were long wooly spider webs. At the shoddy bar sat what appeared to be a very short woman, wearing a black patched cloak and deadly looking leather boots. She was talking to the bartender in a strange raspy language, where she rolled her r's and seemed to be gargling her drink. Remus recognized it to be gobbledegook. There were only two other people in the bar. A pair of warlocks whose eyes flickered around the room and rested on the door a number of times. They were both pale as the moon with little gray goatees.

They almost never blinked behind their matching monocles.

"You know, this place is slightly dodgier than I first thought it was."

Sirius shrugged.

"At least the butterbeer bottles are clean," he ran his finger down the side.

"Ok, _slightly_ clean."

The door to the Hogs Head opened, letting in a blast of cold air.

"There you are- err… why are you here?" James said sliding in next to Sirius after striding across the bar (and leaving a trail of foot prints in the dirt). Sirius grinned a toothy smile as a greeting.

"Padfoot here convinced me to come in here with him," Remus said in answer.

James laughed. He had been forced to look into every store before finally finding them- he should have guessed this place first.

"Fair enough. But those Butterbeers look older than my grandmother."

"I thought she was dead?"

"Exactly."

"So, what happened with Evans? How many times did she turn you down this time? There isn't a red slap mark on your cheek, so I'm thinking it went fairly well," Sirius asked, turning to James.

"Sirius, now you're just confusing James with yourself," Remus chuckled, hiding his smile by taking another sip of butterbeer and spluttering from the dust on the rim. He pushed it away from him after that.

Sirius gave a bark of laughter.

"I _love_ how you get me Moony."

Remus pretended to roll his eyes, but his smile contradicted him.

"Believe it or not, I didn't ask her out_ and_ it went well. There was no hostility whatsoever," James said with a huge grin.

"Good for you mate," Sirius mirrored his expression and clapped a hand onto his shoulder. "You think you're getting through to her then?"

James laughed so loudly that the hairy warlock in the booth older spilled his Firewhisky and let out a string of swearwords about the youth of today.

"No way. But she's softening up and it's nice to see."

"Well you seem to be incredibly cheery despite that, Prongs," Remus remarked.

"Of course I am, like I said- there was no hostility whatsoever."

James was still over the moon and waving at the cow that jumped over it as he spoke; today was a treasure to him.

Apart from that time when he had encountered her at the Owlery, he hadn't been able to glimpse the Real Evans. He was always envious of her friends- _they_ got to see her _all _the time, the Evans who laughed with her head thrown back, who played with her sleeve or scarf when she was nervous, who smiled and stood up for herself and those around her. The Evans that could be as consoling and kind as a doe and as fierce and protective as a tigress. All cheesy thoughts yes, but James was always corny when it came to Lily. His mind refused to be Mr. Macho man around her.

He'd seen plenty of the strong, bold Evans, but from a whole different point of view. _She_ had been protecting herself from _him_. At first it hurt, like a paper cut to the heart or punch in the neck, but he soon realized that's what he liked best about Lily. That she was proud and brave enough to fight her own battles, with her spear raised high and her shield at her side. And really, the only reason she had turned him down every year was because the way he acted conflicted enormously with her morals.

He respected that now.

It took him five years, but it had finally gotten through to him.

"Well, we're happy for you mate," Sirius said before almost taking a sip of his own Butterbeer and thinking better of it.

"So- what happened after we left?" James asked with a gratified look in Sirius's direction.

Remus filled him in, with_ excruciating_ detail, because he knew that the story embarrassed Sirius.

And Sirius is not easily embarrassed in the slightest.

* * *

><p>Willa scanned the letter she had just received again. It was from Ted and it was <em>stuffed<em> full of pictures of Nymphadora. Willa couldn't help but shake her head when she came across one showing a laughing two year old, pink haired girl tugging on one of Ted's fine locks of hair. Ted himself looked perfectly happy to let her.

The expression on his face clearly said that she could pull out as much of his hair as she wanted. He wouldn't care if he went bald.

Andromeda was standing next to the two of them, trying hard to swallow her laughter.

Willa leaned back against the armchair she was tucked up in. The cushions were as worn and threadbare as a one armed teddy bear that had been kissed and squeezed one too many times. The chair sagged comfortably and sighed under her weight. It was like every other piece of furniture in the common room. Well loved and well used to the point of being almost _too _comfortable.

Across from her sat a dozy Lily, cross legged and hidden behind a wave of crimson curls. She was struggling to concentrate on the roll of parchment in front of her. Willa could tell by the way she bit her lip that she found the essay as hard to finish as a race through a bog. Her feet got stuck with a squelch at every new paragraph and the mud refused to release her.

The trip to Hogsmeade was obviously still on her mind.

Willa liked to act like she knew what went on behind that wrinkled forehead of hers and those flashing emerald eyes- but in truth, she was only a good guesser. Honestly, sometimes she found the people around her harder to read than a foggy crystal ball.

No matter how many times she kicked that shimmering ball with the tip of her foot, it never made any sense.

It only left her with a throbbing, purple big toe.

As she watched, Lily's shockingly green eyes glazed over, sliding past the textbook and coming to rest on a spot halfway across the room.

Willa followed her gaze and instantly looked back at her letter, hiding behind it shamelessly. She didn't want to be caught staring.

The letter was long and every inch of it was filled with Ted's untidy, cramped writing. He had a tendency to smear the ink in his haste, but Willa was always able to decipher it. In fact the smudgy a's and scrawled exclamation marks only endeared her brother's letters to her more.

She felt an uncharacteristic smile curl the corners of her lips upward as she traced the outline of little Dora's sweet face with the tip of her finger.

The fire crackled merrily as the usual chatter buzzed around the circular room. The loudest conversation and laughter usually came from the corner. Where Sirius Black usually sat. Where Lily's eyes had unconsciously focused.

He would lounge over the side of the sofa, his usual expression in place- you know it, that arrogant, carelessly easy lopsided grin, joking and teasing his friends. Peter Pettigrew would titter, and stutter his answers, still looking utterly shocked at his luck five and a half years on. Remus would page through a book he had already read ten times and contribute with a small look of amusement on his face. And James would easily laugh along and be at the center, right next to Sirius. He _always_ has been, ever since the train ride, the sorting and all through every year. Always. Sirius is never without James. It's the same any way round. They seem to sag when the other isn't around, like the frame of the armchair. It wouldn't be a proper piece of furniture without the ancient pillows.

Lily's eyes lingered on James for a few seconds and, as if she had just paused to remember a fact or figure out what to write next, darted back to the parchment. She scribbled away, turning as red as a stunning spell. Willa resisted the urge to giggle- she didn't usually giggle; it wasn't part of her aloof, armored girl act.

Willa remembered very well how she had started to notice Sirius. She had never _really_ looked at him in any light. Her eyes used to shimmy right past him, even though most long-eyelashed eyes followed him down the hallway and even when he rounded a corner, they would _still_ be watching. Their owners would sigh longingly and go back to their fantasies.

Whispers followed him and James like the stink of dragon dung. Even in their first year, they were the topic of conversation playing on everyone's tongues.

It was only until one warm day, fit for festivites in the summer following her first year, that her eyes truly locked onto him like a permanent sticking charm.

It was only coincidence that her brother had been marrying his cousin.

_Willa tugged irritably at the flowery powder pink dress she had been obliged to wear. _

_She was already wishing Lily was here. _

_At least then the mood would have been lighter. It wasn't that she wasn't happy that her brother had found love, but honestly, she could have done without the ribbon. It had been her mother's idea of course. _

_Andromeda, her brother's fiancée, had smiled at her sympathetically when she saw her pulling at the ruffles, annoyance bright in her brown eyes. She stopped instantly. She didn't want the bride to worry about anything but how her brother couldn't do household spells to save his life. She sent back a small, reassuring smile, before making a break for the bathroom to glare at her puffy sleeves. Her mother caught her instantly. _

_The reception was small, most of the Tonks' family had shown up, and all of them greeted the bride warmly, their smiles wide and welcoming. They were all plain things, like doctors and teachers, but, Willa thought, at least they were kind people. _

_No one seemed destined to arrive on the Bride's side._

_Andromeda ignored this fact entirely, but the way she wrung her hands contradicted her. Ted coiled an arm around her waist and whispered in her ear, his expression gentle. Whatever discomfort Andromeda had been feeling evaporated into the warm summery air. After that she seemed completely content. Reserved and proud._

_It was only at the ceremony the next day that a guest arrived for her. _

_The boy was tall, with shaggy black hair and smug laughing eyes. His facial structure was proud and handsome, even at twelve. _

_He fiddled with his tie as he asked for her. Willa's mother looked only too happy to fetch her._

_Andromeda came hurrying into view, wild eyed. She looked shocked and even nervous until her eyes fell onto the boy. A wide smile creased her pink cheeks as she knelt down to hug him and ruffle his hair adoringly. He pretended to scowl and shoo her away, but the grin in his eyes was evident._

"_How?" was all she asked. She didn't seem to care about the answer._

"_I have my ways. Besides, you're the only one I count as actual family. I tried to drag the little dark prince along, but after he started screaming for our dearest "mother" I decided he wasn't suited for formal occasions."_

_Andromeda laughed and shook her head. The boy then chivied her up the stairs, scolding her lightly and joking that she was going to be late for her own wedding if she didn't get a move on._

_Willa, who was in a less embarrassing number this time, couldn't stop peering curiously at him through out the whole thing. She knew the whispers about this kid and his face was heavily familiar, but she had only a small inkling of what name to tack under it. Willa made a point of keeping her ears open, but when it came to looking, really looking and seeing, Lily was the better person to approach. _

_Afterwards, she walked straight up to him and asked him his name, just to clarify her niggling suspicions. _

"_Sirius. Just Sirius. I like to think that I have no last name," he answered, his eyes twinkling. _

* * *

><p>Few, another obstacle cleared! Wow, you'd think it gets easy from here on out right? WRONG :D<p>

There's lots yet to come out ^_^ stay tuned and thank you for ALL your encouragement.

**P.S** Thank you very much to **roflshvakomail** for helping me make this chapter a bit more understandable ^_^ thanks a ton! It was a small feature you pointed out, but it really does make a _world_ of difference to me. Also for your constant reviews ^_^ arigato.


	17. Chapter 17: Monti with an i

I'm so sorry for the (VERY) late update, my computer kept throwing a wobbly everytime I tried to type, so the story kept getting erased! *smacks self* bad Owl eyes! Bad!

Anyway, here's the next chapter, again I'm _so so sorry _for the lateness I needed to unjumble my mind- that and my computer is in it's terrible twos- always throwing a tantrum.

So, while I punish myself Dobby style, I hope you read this chapter and forgive me! ( It's a bit of a sad one though- just warning ya!)

* * *

><p>Alice sat cross legged across from me on my bed, letting Monty's boisterous brood lick the tips of her fingers and climb all over her.<p>

They mewed shrilly and got their tiny claws tangled in her springy brown locks.

She seemed very far away.

So far away in fact, that she didn't notice that she was slowly suffocating a struggling kitten.

I bent forwards quickly and gently pried him from her tightening fingers. He gave an indignant mew, his scrabbling claws digging into my thumb. I let out a short gasp, dropping him instantly as a crimson bead of blood blossomed above my nail.

He landed on the floor of the dorm and turned two narrowed, hazel eyes my way, bristling angrily before hurrying back to Monty. He reminded me strongly of a child hurrying off to tattle on their brother or sister for stealing a biscuit from the top shelf.

Yes, there he was, whining in poor Monty's ear.

She shrugged him off impatiently, obviously intent on stretching out in the non-existent sun.

I poked my tongue out at him from across the room.

"Ungrateful!" I whispered under my breath, bristling in the same way he did.

"Hm? What was that Lily?" Alice said suddenly, coming back to earth with a jolt.

"Oh nothing Alice. Just don't strangle anymore kittens, they're an ungrateful lot and I don't much feel like rescuing another."

Alice laughed, and shifted slightly, putting the rest of the "ungrateful lot" into a bad mood to match their brother's. They scattered immediately, throwing Alice dirty looks as they went.

Seconds later the sounds of an aggrieved mother reached our ears, as she hissed and struggled under a pile of her children.

"Poor Monty, they must be doing her head in," I murmured as I watched her disappear under an avalanche of bodies on the bed over.

Alice rocked slightly, her legs folded, her eyes fixed on them. The dorm was in its normal state of disarray and the windows were still letting in the watery light of a spring evening.

It was nearing the end of May and exams were just around the corner. Again, James and co. showed no signs of worry, excluding Peter.

I would often catch James's eye in class and wave to him in the passage way, they were tiny, timid hand raises. Other than that, we had barely communicated past "Good Morning" for three months straight, apart from the time I returned his sweater.

It was aggravating and these half baked encounters left me wistful.

Didn't he want to have an actual conversation with me? He could even ask me out and I wouldn't mind.

It would at least be a couple words longer than "Night, Evans".

Today, we left the common room early, spouting excuses to Willa, Mary and the giggling duo (Violet and Estelle) about turning in.

But really, we intended to coo over the kittens, who had become cuter than ever.

Sadly, they had attitudes to match.

They kept the whole dorm up at night and were still spoiled rotten. Almost as badly as Professor Sprout's budding Venomous Tentacula, who was as temperamental as a Kappa, but still managed to garner all her attention.

Willa was stuck finishing off a nasty essay for Professor Slughorn, muttering darkly under her breath as her quill scratched away.

"Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Do-do you fancy becoming a mum?" Alice asked nervously, still looking unblinking at Monty. You could only see the tip of the grown cat's nose, exhaling and inhaling, her small pink nostrils flaring.

I blinked and found myself biting my lip. I considered the question seriously.

"I don't know. Maybe…" Possibly, probably…yes? I finished the sentence in my head, choosing to trail off and not voice the rest.

"Isn't it a bit early to know?" I continued, looking at her. Alice looked straight back, her eyes seemed set.

She obviously had her answer.

I suddenly envied her for it, for being so sure, even in these troubled times. Voldemort was all over the Daily Prophet, even though his name was never in words, spoken or written.

It was getting worse out there; it felt like there was nothing separating us from the churning black chaos outside, but a set of stone walls and the castle itself.

It seemed like strong protection a year back, but somehow I wasn't so sure anymore.

It wasn't like Voldemort's brand of evil hadn't snuck into the castle either.

It had seeped in through the cracks, in the form of Mulcifer, Avery, Bellatrix Black, Lucius Malfoy... Severus. And that was just to name a few.

I really wanted to be sure for once. I didn't care what it was; I just wanted to be on steady ground. I didn't want to be on shifting staircases anymore.

"I'd like to be a mum, I think," Alice said quietly, yanking me back inside the grounds. Her eyes were oddly bright.

At that Monty gave a ferocious growl and sent her children scrambling.

"Of course not _now,_" she added hurriedly upon seeing my expression. We completely ignored the scared kittens taking refuge under my bed.

"But I quite like the name Neville…"

* * *

><p>"I refuse to change it," Willa declared the next day at breakfast.<p>

"Change w-what?" Alice said, stifling a yawn as she helped herself to some porridge.

"Her name of course! Monty's name! She shall now be known as 'Monti' with an 'i', don't you lot forget it."

"Is that all?" I asked, buttering some toast absentmindedly.

Willa looked affronted.

"It is _very _important- I don't want my dear Monti to have an identity crisis! It must be rather traumatic becoming a girl- and so abruptly too."

I wasn't listening very hard. For some reason my thoughts seemed to linger on the conversation I had with Alice the night before.

_Do you fancy becoming a mum? _

I'm sixteen; it's clearly too early to even ponder that…

To become a mother, you surely have to be married first and before that you have to have had a fiancée, which means you should have had a boyfriend.

Suddenly my head hurt.

My thoughts were broken unceremoniously when my pumpkin juice spilled over into my lap. A large barn owl that had arrived with the post had just knocked it over, after a sticky landing. It clicked its beak indignantly, holding out its leg impatiently.

"I tried to warn you about the incoming owl, but you seemed to have mysteriously gone deaf, Lily," Alice said from next to me, casting me a curious look.

I sighed and gave myself a mental shake as I untied the newspaper from the Owl's scaly leg.

It gave a curt nod after being paid, and then took off, knocking over a stack of toast in the process.

Willa wrinkled her nose as I disappeared behind the Daily Prophet.

"I don't know _why_ you still read that. It's dead depressing having pictures of missing people _staring_ at you while you eat. Look, there's a whole column here- oh…no, those aren't missing people-" Willa swallowed hard "They're obituaries."

Estelle leaned across Willa to get a better look.

"There's…quite a bit this time," she said, before going uncharacteristically quiet.

Violet patted her on the shoulder, but her complexion was milky.

I folded the paper rather more quickly than I normally would have.

"W-well there's no one we know…" Alice continued in a falsely cheery voice after scanning the front page.

Yes, no one _we_ knew.

But everyone on that page had a group of people mourning them, their deaths, their disappearances, infected whole crowds._ We_ didn't know them, but there was someone in this hall, with red rimmed eyes and white knuckles, who did.

Walking through the hallways to get to class that day was a strange experience. The stone corridors were always filled with fearful mutters and plastic laughter these days. Today, I opened my eyes just that little bit more.

There was a large amount of couples.

If you weren't in a tight knit group, shuffling from place to place, then you were holding hands tightly with a boy or girl.

I even noticed a small sparkling glare come off the hand of a seventh year as she wandered by with a broad shouldered boy.

* * *

><p>James gave a hefty sigh and ran his fingers through his untidy black locks. He had repeated the action four times in the hour alone. The crooked smile was gone from his face today, and was replaced by bruised lips.<p>

He had been biting them nervously, and hadn't really noticed the stinging pain and sudden throb of his lower lip. His face was pale and his glasses were threatening to slip off the tip of his nose.

Sirius sat next to him; the only sign of emotion was hidden in his blank staring eyes. He shuffled his feet every few minutes as if resisting the urge to jump up and pace.

St. Mungo's hospital for magical maladies and injuries was not a place James had often visited.

Especially not three times in two weeks.

The summer holidays had started off normally for him, him having aced his end of year exams, barely flinching throughout the whole thing.

He should have predicted this- his mother had looked very peaky on platform nine and three quarters.

Sirius had bought himself a flat and wouldn't be staying with them, but James was always to be sure of a surprise visit, almost every single day. In fact, the visits from Sirius were uniform and hardly ever varying, so "surprise" was hardly truthful.

It was like his best friend's presence hadn't vanished at all. This suited James and always had. Sirius was a constant in his life, along with Moony, Wormtail- and of course, his parents.

But now, sitting with his head drooping on his shoulders, pinching the bridge of his nose so hard that it had gone white, he wasn't sure what the word "constant" meant anymore.

Constant strife maybe?

Constant fear and never ending paranoia perhaps?

That was what it meant to James now.

He saw the waiting room through fast blinking eyelids, like the wink of the projector used in Defense Against the Dark Arts to show the class a picture of a banshee yanking at her hair and screaming her head off.

The second floor buzzed with anxiety, a soft hum of whispered worries and dark clouds- it was no different than the floor above or the one above that.

Sirius suddenly sprang to his feet and James followed suit. His father had just emerged from one of the rooms. He looked older than ever. James had always known his father to be old, older than most parents at least, but somehow he had never seen it until now.

"It doesn't look too good. They're keeping her overnight," he said when he reached them, his hands shook as he placed them on the back of the two boys' necks and made to steer them to the exit.

They walked in solemn silence down one flight of stairs. Sirius had gone very white, his lips trembled and his hands were balled into fists at his side. He stuffed them into his pockets when he saw James looking, but he couldn't hide how stiffly he was walking.

It wasn't until they got back to Potter Manor that James finally spoke.

"What- what do they reckon it is?"

His father took a deep shaky breath and steadied himself against the kitchen doorframe.

"They think its Dragon Pox, your mother's never had it, and at her age…"

He trailed off, closing his eyes as if a sudden wave of pain had just hit him like a speeding broom. He moved into the kitchen and settled into a chair, kneeding his forehead.

James watched from the hall as his father tried to get a hold of himself and felt as though he had just lost the bottom of his stomach.

This permanent plummeting feeling followed him for the rest of the day and was still present the next morning.

Two weeks later, two more visits to St. Mungo's, and it was still there, worse than ever.

* * *

><p>I stared at the ceiling, sprawled on top of my girly, little floral duvet.<p>

I neither hated nor enjoyed the summer holidays.

Next year was my seventh, and for some reason all I felt was lethargy and a muted sense of pride.

On my bedside table sat an opened parchment letter, the emerald ink winking in the bronze light. On top of that letter was a little golden badge, which twinkled even more brightly when hit with a sunbeam than the ink.

One of Monti's kittens was curled on my stomach, purring like a lawnmower.

He was the odd one out of the bunch. Black furred and hazel eyed- the one who glared at me for saving him. Willa couldn't keep them all so she insisted I take one. She was saving the rest for her niece, Nymphadora, to play with when she visited her.

For now he was nicknamed Socks, because of his white paws and how he _always_ managed to ruin Petunia's best stockings and fluffy bed socks with his tiny claws.

Needless to say, she hated him from the first rip he ever made.

* * *

><p>Right! Enough depression, seventh year shall be a happy one! Then we can move on to the sad stuff yeah?<p>

Anyhoo, thanks for reading, I won't have you wait as long as that again.

Until the next chapter!


	18. Chapter 18: Guy in a toga?

What did I tell ya? I didn't leave you hanging this time! Ahh seventh year... this is gonna be a nostalgic one...

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you actually <em>got<em> one Prongs!"

"What's that supposed to mean? You've hurt me deep Padfoot. Hurt me deep."

Sirius laughed his usual bark like chuckle. Remus, who was visiting for the week, shook his head at him, but grinned at James.

"You've caused way too much trouble, dear friend, I expected Moony to receive the Golden Boy Badge."

"I'm offended Padfoot, no treat for you," Remus answered nonchalantly.

Sirius brought his knees up to his chest and pouted, going into sulk mode.

"I can't believe you Moony! I thought you were a dog person, you abuser!"

Remus reached up and patted Sirius on the head.

"If you behave yourself and let James enjoy this moment, you may earn back your treat."

Sirius sniffed, but obeyed Remus grudgingly.

"Hey, doesn't that Willa girl own a cat?" James said, changing the subject and lightly poking Sirius in the side with his foot.

They were all in his room- which was in a state of chaos as usual.

There were Gryffindor banners draped from the ceiling, that hadn't moved since his first year. School robes were piled haphazardly on his dresser, waiting to be packed and his broom was in a place of honor, leaning against the wall next to the window.

Remus had chosen to sit cross legged bedside his bed, leaning his head comfortably on it. Sirius had been hanging off the side upside down before adopting a fetal position to pretend to sulk.

James had slumped in his desk chair, examining the head boy badge between his thumb and forefinger, holding it up to the light like he was trying to see if it was a clever forgery.

Sirius gave him a wide eyed look.

"Great, that's all I need. For one of the girl's I'm _partially_ interested in to be a _cat person_. As if things weren't bad enough already."

Remus and James shared a look. _Partially_ was Sirius speak for interested in _a lot_, but they left him to his pride. Sirius didn't scream his love from the roof tops like James chose to do. He was a lot more complex when it came to the fussy subject of _feelings_, believe it or not. Most didn't believe it.

The room went silent.

James hated these silences most, the ones that were meant to be comfortable. It just reminded him how empty the house had become, with just him and his father.

Mr. Potter had slapped on a brave face and James had done the same, they knew that the last thing his mother would have wanted was for them to brake down and shatter.

James's charade could fool everyone, even his father, but not Sirius. Even Remus could see the cracks that had formed over the holidays.

Sirius knew that James would never re-visit the summer before his seventh year in his memories.

It had been barely five weeks since the darkest day for the Potter men and the sadness was still fresh.

But, James knew one thing very well.

Life goes on.

* * *

><p>"Come-come <em>on<em> Socks! Please just go i-" Socks gave a furious growl at being handled so roughly and wriggled out of my grasp. I stood up, sighing in exasperation. Then, getting an idea, I stooped down and picked up the cat carrier.

Socks kept his eyes on me, ready to spring out of reach if I tried anything funny.

"Alright. You win, see?" I slowly put the carrier on top of the hallway bookshelf. "No nasty cat carriers for you."

This seemed to appease him, because his stance relaxed.

"Lily!" shrieked Petunia from the bottom of the stairs.

"Hurry up will you! We have to drop you off so you can get to your freak school!"

I let out another sigh and rolled my eyes at Socks, who always sprang a foot in the air when he heard Petunia screaming.

Then, straightening the Head Girl badge on my chest self-consciously, I grabbed my trunk and began heaving it down the stairs. Socks followed one step at a time and mewed indignantly at every bang the trunk made.

* * *

><p>James's father ruffled his son's hair affectionately.<p>

"Behave yourself."

"I can't promise that."

"Then don't give your Professors a migraine."

"Again, can't say I won't."

His father chuckled and shook his head.

"Have a good last year then, son."

James grinned.

"'Course I will."

"We're going out with a bang, Mr. Potter," Sirius chuckled from next to James.

"I hope that means _not_ drowning me in owls?" Mr. Potter asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid that isn't the case," Remus said with a sympathetic smile.

Mr. Potter sighed heavily, but there was a smile crinkling his cheeks and his weary eyes seemed to light up slightly.

"My long correspondence with Professor McGonagall continues."

James scanned the platform for what he knew to be the second to last time ever. It was bustling and loud as usual, smoke drifting almost lazily over the chaos and excitement, just how he remembered it from his very first year. As he did so he found a_ real_ grin lighting up his face for the first time in weeks.

It felt good.

* * *

><p>"Ok, I'll see you there, but I have to go-"<p>

"Lecture the newbie law enforcers, yes, go do your thing Head Girl," Willa said with a wide smile. I shook my head and laughed, before waving to her and Alice and hurrying down to the front of the train. The two of them bustled off in the other direction, chatting as they went.

The large compartment was already partially full by the time I got there. I waved at some faces I already knew and maneuvered to the front of the chatting crowd, avoiding protruding feet as I went. I was so focused on not tripping that I walked right into someone.

At least I didn't trip.

"Woah there Evans, careful."

I knew that voice all too well. I felt my eyes grow wide, but I managed to stay composed. Barely.

"Jame-Potter? What're _you_ doing in here!"

"Well, you know me Lily, I like exploring, so I must have just wondered in here, I'll go shall I?" James asked, grinning his normal crooked grin.

I folded my arms and rolled my eyes at him, feeling a smile tug at the corners of my lips as I did so.

"I'm not stupid James, you're _wearing _the badge."

James snapped his fingers in mock defeat.

"Blast. Can't get anything past you, now can I, Lily?"

The smile became a full fledged one. The words that he had said to me months and months ago, felt familiar and warm, I loved hearing them again, because this time, I was ready to let them in.

"You best hope not, James."

* * *

><p>The start of year feast started off normally, I tried to enjoy every last second, this was my<em> last<em> start of year feast after all, and I wanted it firmly imprinted in my mind, carved in my memories.

Then something happened that made this feast easier to remember.

The hall went chillingly silent after the Sorting hat had finished its song; the messages underneath the lyrics were mixed instead of straightforward this year.

I could feel the tension in my bones, seizing them up and pulling them tight.

Professor McGonagall got to her feet quickly, gave a cough and unrolled her parchment more mechanically than she normally would have.

As she began to call out names and tiny first years stumbled up to the wooden stool, the hall visibly relaxed, but entered immediately into murmured discussions.

"Sir Nicolas!" I whispered hastily, leaning around Frank Longbottom, who leaned back in a gentlemanly way, looking interested.

The ghost gave me a curious look, straightening his ruff and floating upwards. He came to rest to my right, his head quivering on its severed string.

Before the ghost could open his transparent mouth I cut across him.

"Has the hat given advice before?"

It seemed only logical to ask a ghost. Who _else_ has been drifting through the corridors of Hogwarts for almost as long as the Hat has _existed?_

He considered my question for a moment, stroking his whispy mustache.

"Of course, but it has been a_ very_ long time, since it has sang of warnings."

I nodded slowly and didn't question it any further.

The Hat had spoken of unity between the houses, it had emphasized staying strong, but that was it, it was subtle and probably hadn't meant to startle the crowd at all.

But still, I couldn't help thinking that that message was meant more for those who were _leaving_ the safety of the school.

Houses hardly meant much after you left school, just that they had defined you in some way, shaped your personality like clay, quietly over the years. Maybe the Hat had meant something more than that?

I glanced down the table at James, who I noticed had had his eyes fixed on me all along. He looked startled fleetingly, meeting my eyes with his and showing the laughing dimple in his cheek.

He didn't look away.

And neither did I.

* * *

><p>James found that being a seventh year was <em>definitely <em>for him.

The teachers were strict as always, but were maybe more emotional then usual. He had a workload that reminded him of his fifth year, but each lesson had an air of finality to it.

It was odd for him too though; like he was suddenly in a parallel universe- and he didn't mind the bizarre world at all.

He actually had _responsibilities_ now as Head Boy, and although he generally got on with everyone (excluding each and every Slytherin), he wasn't used to people actually looking to him for _guidance_.

Of course, if he had this position say, in his second year, he would have _guided _everyone into the ground for fun- making up fake holidays, telling the Fat Lady that the Gryffindor password was now "Elvendork", putting up _Out of Order _signs on all the girls toilets and claiming that there were rogue doxies nesting in the furniture in the common room- because hey, he _finally_ had immunity.

Although he had already pitched his "Elvendork" idea to Lily, he found the guiding part of his new job much easier than expected. He also thoroughly enjoyed the millions of excuses that he now had to talk to his fellow Head Girl.

The only thing James couldn't stand was the _paperwork._

There were literally mountains of the hated stuff. Most of it was lines that students had written in detention- it was a favor to the Professors that the Heads check that the correct number of lines had been written. It was the dullest job James ever had to suffer through. There were other bits and bobs here and there, like patrolling the corridors at night, mostly to help the bulgy-eyed Filch wheedle out those who were out of bed.

James found that he utterly _failed_ at this job, but of course he didn't give a hairy giant's behind.

When he found a couple in a deserted classroom, he winked and advised the two bedraggled students to get a move on to their common rooms, bluffing when he said that Filch was just around the corner.

He would rather swallow a fork than turn _anyone _in- especially the younger students.

They were the _future_ law breakers of this school after all and he wanted to quietly encourage their mischievous sides.

He was also _incredibly_ skilled at acting the innocent, goody-two-shoes, Head Boy who believed in the students of Hogwarts, calling them all angels that stayed happily tucked up in bed at night. Even though he bailed out at _least _seven students each patrol- which disappointed him.

He was delighted if he saved more than ten, because that meant that there were rule breakers about, willing to carry on making Filch's life miserable!

He may also have implied to Filch that he was just a "paranoid cat kisser" during one of these acts after he had finished his night time wandering, sabotaging the cranky caretaker as he went.

He was extremely grateful for the magical shield that was his Head Boy badge; it gave him the power to taunt Filch all he liked without being strapped up by his toes in the dungeons.

Filch had threatened the Marauders with such punishments before, and although James knew Dumbledore would never allow it, he couldn't help thinking that if he pushed the envelope that little bit _too_ much, he'd find himself numb from the toes onwards.

"Right-o lovebirds, it's time to fly the coop yeah? Don't want to anger mister frog face now do we?" James said cheerily as he opened the door to yet another deserted classroom. The two Ravenclaws broke apart immediately and hurried away; giving James looks of gratitude as they went. Most of the students had figured out that James never turned any of them in.

It was November, and Quidditch season was fast approaching. The nights were chilly and the air was crisp. Autumn, James had decided, was definitely his favorite season.

He was doing his Head Boy duties and, as usual, hoping that Lily had decided to do them too.

He slipped behind a tapestry into a passageway for a breather from playing warden. He settled down on the tenth step up, just missing the trick one below it.

Resting his head against the wall comfortably and pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, he gently pulled out a piece of parchment.

"Mischief managed," he murmured, tapping it with the tip of his wand. Yes, the Marauders great tool for causing havoc was now being used for the good of Hogwarts's pranking future.

Then, slipping the map carefully back into his robe pocket, he pulled out a plain, square mirror.

"Don't tell me you're already asleep, Padfoot!" James scolded.

"Of course not, although I am doing something different for a change- homework."

"Really? Never thought I'd see the day," James said in mock surprise.

Sirius's face laughed up at him, his eyes twinkling.

"Yes, I can feel it draining my personality as we speak, I'm not sure which I'd rather do right now. Essay on non-verbal spells or detention."

James smiled crookedly, shaking his head.

"So? Have you done it yet? It'll be too late if you dawdle, Ole' Moony told me so, isn't that right mate?" Sirius continued, turning his head and obviously speaking to someone next to him.

"He said yes, and he advises you to put your behind in gear. He also says that those weren't his words."

James laughed loudly, before swallowing it quickly. The last thing he needed was for "Frog face" to find him and confiscate his mirror.

"That would be a _no_. She's just starting to warm up to me! I'm not risking that. I've only just stopped being a right berk _remember?_" James answered.

There was a short silence while Sirius digested this reply.

"Ok Prongs, mate, I need you to listen closely," He said finally. James nodded slowly.

"Hike up your _skirt,_ be a _man_ and ask Evans out!" he cried firmly in James's ear.

James almost dropped the mirror, catching it clumsily and looking at Sirius as if he'd suddenly gone insane and had started wearing a coconut bra.

Despite himself, James grinned his Cheshire cat smirk, looking just like the first year on the train he had once been.

"Fine, I'll do it. But this time, I'm _not _serenading her."

* * *

><p><em>Will you go out with me?<em>

It was there in plain, blunt, _unwavering_ English.

I shuffled through the stack of parchment a second time. Still the same arrangement. On the back of the very last piece was a hastily scrawled name, followed by an even tinier and messier note.

_James Potter (A mature guy in a toga, singing Celestia Warbeck songs.)_

I spluttered and let out a burst of laughter.

I had been going through a pile of Head Girl paper work, that Professor McGonagall had asked me to look at. I wondered briefly if she was in on James's little scheme.

On the corner of each page was a word written neatly in gold ink, the letters were elaborate and _very_ hard to miss. The last message was in the same ink, except it was written more hastily and with less care than the other words.

Was the famous James Potter possibly…_nervous_ about asking me? He had done it plenty of times before, without the barest hint of anxiety...or shame for that matter.

_Besides_, I thought with a small, blushing smile.

_Who could say no to this? _

* * *

><p>Taa-daa! Chapter 18 finished! Quite frankly, I think James is being subtle don't you? We can't have that, now can we?<p>

He'll be _much much_ more outspoken next chapter!

Until then!


	19. Chapter 19: Scarily wonderful

Right! I'm trying to be better at updating, and I especially hope that I didn't torture any of you this time round!

So, let your suffering end and read!

* * *

><p>"Lily, who could say 'no' to that for this long?" Willa cried, throwing her arms into the air. She had yelled so loudly that a bunch of third year Ravenclaws gave her a curious look from across the courtyard.<p>

It was quite chilly outside today, but that didn't stop students from huddling in the corners of the courtyard, breathing on their pink hands and rubbing them together as they chatted and hurriedly finished homework.

Alice nodded vigorously in agreement.

"You're leaving the poor boy hanging Lily," Alice said wisely, sharing a smile with Willa. Those two knew too much for their own good.

My eyes flickered from one girl to the next, the expression on my face was a mixture of "You two have gone mad", guilt and a large dollop of plain old apprehensiveness.

"It's only been a week, Potter can wait- I thought I might postpone the moment I-er- turn him dow-"

Willa let out a snort of unladylike laughter, cutting my sentence short.

"Can you look us in the eyes and say you're honestly, _truly_ gonna turn the bloke down?"

The two of them leaned forward expectantly until their faces were just inches away from mine. Both of their brown eyes were glittering, Alice's warm dark ones teasingly and Willa's sharp eagle like ones devilishly.

They both had a look of smug knowing on their faces. I felt a corner of my mouth twitch as I examined the two of them.

Coming to an unconscious decision, I shook my head ever so slightly.

It was less than even the tiniest of head shakes, but Alice and Willa got the picture bright and clear, like it was a giant Filibuster wet-start firework going off above their heads.

It has been exactly five agonizing days since I discovered those intricate gold words written on my Head Girl paperwork.

I had to vanish them with the tip of my wand before returning the lot to Professor McGonagall, flushed and stuttering. But I saved the last message, James's name written carelessly at the back of the very last piece of parchment.

It was folded up tenderly in my pocket. It felt like it was burning right through the fabric most days and it had so many creases in the crisp parchment, that I had begun having thoughts of ironing it the muggle way.

Although the lovely gold words were gone from the paperwork, they weren't _really_.

They were etched permanently on my brain and written clearly across the back of my eyelids, so when I closed my eyes, the words swam dully across the darkness, shimmering shadows of the originals.

A constant reminder that I had to actually _reply_. A reminder I otherwise had grown overly fond of- in an odd way.

This was the first time in three years that James had been so considerate.

By writing the question down, he gave me time to think.

I was actually a little resentful of this fact- why couldn't he ask me out right? Why did he have to be such a perfect gentleman and make stars appear in my eyes?

Because now there was the very real, very scary, very _wonderful_ possibility of me saying yes.

So, what was tugging me roughly backwards and around the corner whenever James slipped into my range of view, trying to catch my eye, wearing a small hopeful smile?

I found this tiny, gentle quirk of his lips so much more approachable than the devilish grin he often wore with Sirius.

But still, I found myself flying down the corridor as if I were on a broom- away from James. I swear, I moved so fast that I ruffled his hair on my way past the last time I shot by him.

Willa once joked that I left a puff of smoke of myself when I ran off, like on those muggle cartoons.

I guess I'm…what's the word?

Nervous?

* * *

><p>Another day and I felt like I was suffocating, I simply <em>have <em>to tell him.

I can't stop looking his way or thinking about him, because now I realize that my fondness is a lot more than just warm affection.

But I just sputter and falter and then I get ragingly frustrated. This isn't like me at all.

I gave an aggravated groan that seemed to be a sigh at the same time and buried my face in my hands.

It was _so_ much easier turning the guy down!

It's drizzling again today and the sky is as murky as the lake water. I glare up at the moody clouds from my seat in the stands, eyeballing it like my hesitation is all _its_ fault.

Willa had dragged Alice and me down to the Quidditch pitch.

Well, she had to drag me, Alice came very willingly.

In fact, she helped Willa nearly dislocate my arm from its socket.

Alice was waving up at Willa, beaming and laughing when Willa pulled a funny face at her, wiggling her ears and touching her tongue to her nose.

This earned her a light telling off from the Gryffindor Quidditch team captain, who couldn't hide his trademark smirk and the slight glitter of amusement in his hazel eyes.

I frowned and dropped my gaze down to my gloved hands in my lap.

Of course, Quidditch being his "calling" James had become captain. And, apparently, a "Roaring good 'un too!" Hagrid's words not mine, but I haven't seen the team working so seamlessly in so long.

It's almost as if the chasers can read each others minds and the beaters haven't missed once.

This year James is seeker and, for once, he doesn't do a mini dance on his broom every time he catches the snitch in two minutes flat. The compliments keep pouring in from dazzled admirers, but still, James just smiles his roguish, crooked smile that displays the dimple in his cheek. He only seems to muck about and show off good naturedly with Sirius, Remus and Peter.

Suddenly, James tweeted his whistle shrilly, and called that training was over. The team landed, jostling James fondly among them, laughing and talking over each other, before departing for the changing room.

Willa waited for us to catch up to her, tapping her foot and yelling at us to hurry. Our shoes squelched in the thin layer of mud drowning the bright green grass.

Alice made it, but I never did.

Suddenly, something swooped by me- a _laughing_ something.

Arms curl securely around my waist and then, as fast as it takes to blink, I'm looking down at the pitch dazedly, the wind whipping my hair violently.

"Meet you back at the common room Padfoot!" James called over his shoulder, his voice alight with amusement, as we climbed higher and higher into the swirling gray sky.

"Hold on tight, Lily!" He adds, quieter this time, looking me in the eyes, before going into a swift dive.

Somehow I ended up on the back of his broom, but the details are fuzzy because they happened too fast to fathom.

One minute my feet were planted on the ground and then whoosh- I was in the air, my insides complaining the whole way.

I lurched forwards, flinging my arms around his waist, clinging on for dear life and pressing my cheek against the warmth of his Quidditch robes.

"_Jaaaaaaaames!_" I screamed, chilly air almost yanking my lips back.

The green of the pitch was approaching fast; my stomach flew into my spine and the only thing that I could hear, apart from the wind practically yelling in my ears, was James laughing heartily, like he was having the time of his life.

As suddenly as he dived he pulled up.

It was so close that I felt my shoes skim the grass.

We were now so high up that I could feel the moisture of the clouds condensing on any skin that wasn't covered. He then shot off towards the lake zigzagging as he went.

As a result I found myself holding on even tighter.

"_James!_ Put me _down!_" I shrieked as my feet skimmed the surface of the Black Lake.

A tentacle made a lazy grab for it but before it could even place one suction cup against the sole of my shoe, we shot out of range.

James simply laughed- again. It was clear and loud, the sound refreshing and alive. Suddenly I wanted to strangle him, but I daren't let go.

I gritted my teeth and only admitted to myself that that laugh had grown on me.

"I'll put you down as soon as you give me an answer Lily!" He called over the rush of the wind as he did a series of dizzying loop-de-loops that made my head swim and my breakfast threaten to make an appearance.

Oh, that's_ just_ what I needed right then, as if I wasn't uncomfortable enough.

He sped off towards the Forbidden forest as soon as his broom was out of the last loop.

My eyes watered as the frozen wind bit into my skin. He then shot straight upwards again, it was such a steep climb that I felt as if I might slip over the broom's streamlined tail and take James with me- I was clutching him so tightly around the waist, that I had an inkling that I might have been suffocating him.

If he was oxygen deprived, he didn't let on that he was dying of empty lungs.

"Ok! _Yes!_ My answer is _yes_ James! Even though you seem to have completely _lost it!_" I screamed in answer, swallowing large amounts of cool air as I did so.

The broom halted so suddenly that the tail tipped upwards comically, making me give a small gasp and almost smack my forehead against the back of his neck.

He turned around wildly in his seat, making the broom rock and me curl my fingers around it so tightly, that my hands glowed white.

He was facing me now, his eyes wide behind his glasses; he looked too stunned for words, he was gaping like a fish and looked just as unable to speak. Then, spotting my discomfort, he put his large, warm hands over mine. They swallowed them up entirely and a surge of numb heat flowed up my arm.

I gave a short sigh, blowing my hair out of my eyes and peering up at him through my eyelashes, raising one eyebrow.

I was trying to be accusing and guilt inducing- after all, he had almost given me a heart attack, which I'm guessing was an incentive to say yes.

But the ice in my gaze melted and I shook my head, laughing quietly under my breath.

James just stared at me as if he had never seen me before in his life.

"I think I've gone mad," He said slowly, his eyes still the size of two crystal balls.

The hazel, I now noticed, was shot through with bright shades of brown and gold.

"You _did_ say yes, right? Or am I hearing things? Please, put me out of my misery if I'm wrong, just push me off my broom- the drop should do it-"

"I'm not going to shove you off your broom! I like you far too much to kill you James, that's second date stuff that is- first date; getting to know you, second date; murder. You see?"

I had been rambling and my stab at humor was rather feeble. I gave him an equally weak smile just then. He grinned back, so easily, as if smiling was as simple as breathing.

"I would die happy then, I'd be singing in my coffin."

I felt my cheeks flush, and suddenly I didn't feel so frozen anymore.

"You'd best hope you don't end up in a coffin James Potter!" I muttered- the image, to me, was nightmarish.

James chuckled and leaned in closer, resting his forehead against mine. Our breath mingled and our noses were barely an inch away from the other.

"So, what made you change your pretty mind? Was it my roguish good looks? Did you finally succumb to them or-"

I punched him in the arm, giving him a good natured glare.

"Don't push your luck Potter."

"Ow! What happened to 'James' Lily? We're taking a step backwards!"

I felt a grin split my face in half. It was then that I did something quite impulsive.

I brushed my lips against his cheek bone gently.

"No we're not."

* * *

><p>Sirius, Remus and Peter, were waiting for James in the now empty changing room.<p>

Peter was dozing with his head slumped against the wall and his mouth gaping wide open, drool dribbling over his lip.

Remus and Sirius were having a loud discussion next to him- they obviously didn't have much consideration for the sleeping, much like another Marauder that wasn't present.

Sirius was pacing with his brow furrowed and his arms behind his back.

"She's _got_ to say yes, the way Prongs asked her was dead romantic- right?"

"Well, I suppose so; they don't have many books on the subject-" Remus started, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sirius snorted, interrupting Remus and stopped in his tracks, turning to face him.

"Yeah, except for that one- what was it called? How to charm witches?"

"Something like that- I don't suppose _you've_ read it?"

This time the snort became a booming bark like laugh.

"Moony, my dear fellow, I've got _all _the charm I need."

"Your modesty truly is_ inspiring_," Remus said dryly.

Suddenly, there was a loud, triumphant whoop from outside the room and James appeared, looking like he was practically going to explode confetti and unexplainable happiness.

He didn't even notice the affronted Sirius or the grinning Remus.

The two of them watched as their best friend- who had been perfectly sane this morning- began singing a song under his breath, growing louder and louder. Sirius shuddered inwardly- not _another_ Celestia Warbeck number!

Remus and Sirius barely flinched and calmly put their fingers in their ears- James was a horrid singer. That much they had known since first year and he had proved it previously to Lily as well.

Sirius smirked widely at Remus and held out an open palm expectantly.

Remus gave a testy sigh, but his eyes shared the smug expression that decorated Sirius's face in that moment.

After rifling around in his robe pocket, he produced three chunky gold coins and dropped them into Sirius's waiting palm.

"I had to lose someday, I suppose..." Remus said with a quiet chuckle.

Sirius's arrogance seemed to grow in that second, if that was even possible at this point.

If his grin had been any wider, his face would have split in half.

"I _told_ you it would happen, I _told _you Moony. And now, I am triumphant!"

* * *

><p>That's that for number 19! Finally, I'm into the 20's! We're making headway people!<p>

See you soon!

P.S Also, thank you for all your reviews, favorites and alerts when I read them or see them, they always leave me itching to write more. So, for that I just want to keep thanking you! (I don't care if it's repetitive, it really does mean so much to me!)


	20. Chapter 20: Dungbombs and lace

YES! Here is the very long awaited chapter in which James and Lily... go on their first date! I like this one, it's heart warming, it really is. I've been planning this one for ages and ages and finally I got to write all those ideas down!

Phew!

Read on my lovelies! Read on!

* * *

><p>His eyes bored into mine, his brow furrowed and his teeth gritted.<p>

I stared right back, never shifting my gaze an inch away from his, even though being under constant scrutiny by him made me oddly nervous.

Scarlet and green confetti caught in my hair and I felt my eye twitch irritably. James also looked slightly sickened.

"You know, Lily, I don't think the staring contest is making this go any faster," James said, his lips twitching with amusement.

"We can do this James! If we just-" right then the little golden cupid floating above my head (wearing a tiny Santa hat and ring of holly around its neck), gave a delicate giggle and threw another clump of confetti onto my head- this time it was heart shaped.

I spluttered and James laughed, leaning across the grossly frilly table to pick some out of my hair gently. My cheeks flared immediately, but I didn't pay it any mind.

It was too difficult a change to go from detesting James to liking him- or so I thought, at least.

Our eyes met and an unconscious decision was made.

James placed our salvation under the table and winked.

He grabbed my hand and we made a run for it, away from all the doomed couples who were busy snogging and Madam Puddifoot's dinky little cups of sweet tea that made you pucker and her stale heart shaped cakes.

We were speed walking away from the tiny store when from inside there came loud shrieks and screams, followed by the bang of the door as putrid brown fog flooded outside.

"I feel kind of guilty," I said mildly, looking behind me.

James chuckled.

"Please. We did that place a favor."

I nudged him teasingly in the arm .

"You sound like Black."

"Well, we do come from the same mold, but there's one differing feature-"

He stopped and put both hands on my shoulders, leaning close so that our noses were brushing.

"I like you Evans. Am I a total nutter for being hopeful that the feelings mutual?" he threw me a small hopeful grin, devoid of all devilishness.

"Too early to tell James, this is only our first date," I tutted, mentally batting away the butterflies with a fly swatter.

James simply continued to smile his easy smile and began walking again, his hand swinging nonchalantly by his side. I looked down at the cobblestones on the street, furrowing my brow with hidden nerves, and slipped my hand back into his brown tinged one from the Dungbomb.

I felt it tighten and his thumb stroke the back of it ever so lightly as we walked.

It was the end of November, and Hogsmeade was not yet suffering from the cold blast of winter that was promised with the coming of Christmas. There were not so many clouds in the sky today and the air tasted of rain water and smoke.

We had both come to an almost telepathic decision to have our date on the nearest Hogsmeade trip.

Willa and Alice - to whom I had to spill the whole broom episode to, hadn't stopped whispering and giggling about it.

The two of them had begun to remind me strongly of Estelle and Violet.

I could only be happy that they had stopped squealing after a minute of me turning the color of a tomato and telling them to stop.

The two of them practically_ pushed_ me down the entrance hall staircase that morning, Alice fiddling with my hair and Willa smoothing my robes- until I snapped at them to stop being so ridiculous.

They just smirked.

There was no way that they would believe my claims that we were going as friends_._

_I_ didn't even believe them myself- how could I? After everything with the broom and the gold ink?

But I stuck to them anyway; they would simply have to dissolve with time- _if _we actually got together.

I usually quelled those thoughts and focused on the here and now, because the present was all that mattered, but, sometimes, they snuck in, tip toeing and shushing each other.

We had entered Madam Puddifoot's after visiting Zonko's.

James had given me a slightly surprised look after suggesting we take a look inside the Joke shop, which just made me grin.

We had dared ourselves to find out what the fuss was about with the pink teashop, but as soon as we entered James turned green and all the frills gave me a headache.

That's why, before hand, James had offered the stink bomb as an escape route.

At first I thought there was no way we would resort to it.

But you can only have so much pink in one room.

* * *

><p>"And you told<em> us<em> off for stalking, tut tut Willa."

"Look who's talking, you're hiding behind this building too aren't you?" She answered, grinning in a very evil way up at Sirius.

Sirius gave a dramatic sigh.

"Caught brown-handed."

"_Brown_-handed?"

"Yes, it's a prankster thing, love. Dungbombs tend to leave a mark."

Willa rolled her eyes, but didn't return to spying.

In actual fact she wasn't spying _per-say_, just making sure James didn't mess up- and Sirius was obviously thinking something along the same lines.

This made them both _equally_ guilty.

Willa's hair was as wild as usual and a long, fluffy black and white striped scarf was wrapped around her neck to fend off the cold. Her nose was tipped pink from the chill.

Sirius was standing behind her, his hands in his pockets in that lazily handsome way of his, slouching slightly.

They were hiding in the alleyway between Dervish and Banges and Honeydukes, the smell of abandoned cockroach cluster mingling with the breeze.

They both glanced at the two retreating figures, one with flaming scarlet hair, tied back clumsily into a loose bun at the nape of her neck and one with untidy black hair, who kept running his fingers through it with his free hand. He was really just making it worse.

"Prongs may act charming, but Merlin does he look anxious," Sirius said under his breath before giving a throaty chuckle.

Willa shrugged, blowing at some of her own hair that had fallen into her eyes.

"At least Lily looks comfortable, but I could be wrong. Let's hope lover boy doesn't mess it up."

The two of them knew very well that if things didn't work out, their designated friends would be miserable and, by association, _they_ would be miserable, too.

"Come now Willa, have more faith in him," Sirius said, leaning past her to get a better look and brushing against her shoulder to do so.

Willa gave him a sly look out of the corner of her eye. If its pupil had been narrowed, Sirius thought, she would have looked very cat-like.

"I give everyone I have faith in a hard time," she said simply. "Makes it much more difficult for them to disappoint. It's a good strategy if you ask me."

Sirius digested this new information slowly as they pretended to watch James and Lily. Suddenly, he broke the silence, flashing his canine teeth as he spoke.

"Want to get a Butterbeer?"

Willa looked him in the eye then, chewing over her answer, like she really had to consider it.

"Sure."

* * *

><p>James was freaking out inside, but it was a <em>good <em>kind of freaking out.

At first, he had been nothing but nerves and worries. That was before he gave himself a kick up the rear and reminded himself _who he was_.

He was James Potter- Quidditch captain, Head Boy and, most important of all, a Marauder.

James Potter doesn't become a quivering wreck because he thinks he might do something to ruin his chances with Lily again.

James Potter sucks it up and _enjoys _himself.

He had approached cloud twelve so fast that his head was currently stuck in it- and he didn't mind.

After she had said yes, it had taken James a good ten minutes to make his brain believe it, even after she had explained that she had said it.

After dropping her off at the Castle doors, he had flown off so fast that he almost crashed into the Whomping Willow and the Quidditch stands, both at different stages of his elation.

He replayed everything in his head and touched the spot she kissed him twenty times that evening.

It also took him at least half an hour to realize that his fellow Marauders had bared witness to him singing, fist-pumping and doing an Irish jig that his uncle on his father's side did when he was particularly drunk.

It was then that he noticed the gold clinking in Sirius's hands.

"You _bet _on whether Lily would say yes?" He had said, trying to sound enraged, but with no real conviction. In fact he sounded utterly _delighted_ about it.

Sirius had shoved the coins into a robe pocket, still beaming triumphantly.

"I always knew you'd come through for me mate!" he chuckled.

Remus shook his head and laughed as well.

"Sirius here has been paying for my chocolate stash for _years._ But I always knew one day she would say yes. I just needed chocolate money."

Sirius stopped gloating and laughing heartily then, instead turning a wide-eyed look onto Remus. The expression on his face was a mixture of disbelief and awe.

"Moony! I didn't know you were that… _crafty._"

Remus simply shrugged, grinning.

"I'm not in the Marauders for nothing am I?"

"Yes, but I always understood that you were the _mature_ one."

Remus simply waved away the comment.

"Labels, never trust them Sirius."

James remembered all this fondly at the back of his head. The rest of his mind was focused entirely on Lily.

The way she suggested they look at Zonko's first and how she had held his hand. Most girls were squeamish of the powder Dungbombs left on guy's hands.

James was a born prankster, and any girl that decided to date him would have to get used to what came with it. Mainly the shenanigans, his mates and of course the odd smell of spell smoke that lingered around every good troublemaker.

James was also relishing the fact that he didn't have to pretend that he was on a date with the girl of his dreams. It was actually _happening._

When they were in Zonko's, Lily and James had looked through the store thoroughly.

Of course, James always looked through Zonko's with Sirius, Remus and Peter.

He and Sirius took special delight at leaping out at Peter wearing scary masks and swapping his wand for a trick one, but this- this was a whole different Quidditch match.

Lily was more than eager to muck about, which James wasn't expecting at all. She put on googly specs, got James to do the same and they bobbed their heads, letting the magically magnified eyes bounce out at each other. She had crept up behind him and let go of a screaming yo-yo. It shrieked all the way down its string and made James jump a metre into the air.

She laughed and James had given her a wild eyed look of surprise.

When they left the store together, they found that they had both swapped each others wands for trick ones. Hers squawked and turned into a parrot, his flopped pathetically and turned into a mackerel.

It was about then that James stopped obsessing over whether or not she would have a good time.

"Want to go up to the Shrieking Shack?" She asked suddenly, pulling James back into the present. They had just left Madam Puddifoot's in a cloud of brown smog and James was still reeling from being so close to her.

He considered this as his thumb absent mindedly stroked the back of her hand, which he held protectively in his own.

"Why not? I hear it's pretty scenic. You know, if you like great big, dirty haunted houses."

He had been trying to put her off from going slightly, but the side of him that would go anywhere with or for Lily, won.

She just smiled up at him, her eyes bright.

"And who, James, wouldn't like a good haunted house?"

* * *

><p>Willa and Sirius weaved between the tables in the Three Broomsticks, each carrying a Butterbeer. Sirius was searching for a table where they could perhaps have some privacy, but Willa had other plans.<p>

"Ah, look there's Remus, lets sit with him. He looks lonely."

She waved at Remus, who was sitting in a booth with Peter.

He gave Sirius a very amused look, complete with a raised eyebrow and a stifled grin that would ultimately have read: "That your girlfriend, Sirius, mate?".

By now, Sirius had spotted a nice little table all the way at the other side of the bar. He sighed inwardly and cursed his luck, casting the secluded corner a wistful look before following Willa.

Willa slipped in next to Remus and Sirius had to make do with Peter.

Peter gave Willa a shocked look, but didn't run away this time, which she took as a compliment.

As small talk ensued, Sirius couldn't help but feel cheated.

Oh I sure know how to pick 'em, but why an independent, crafty _cat_-person?

* * *

><p>We walked up the side of the hill in comfortable silence, our eyes on the shack looming up ahead. The tips of my fingers were pink, but the rest of my hand was warm, held protectively in James's grasp.<p>

"I don't like winter much," I said cutting the silence in half.

James threw me a grin.

"Me neither. I prefer Autumn."

"Why?"

He suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

"Er, I guess because it's not too cold and not too warm?"

"James, the seasons aren't like porridge."

He looked my way again, his breath coming out in little clouds of steam.

"Porridge? How did we get onto the subject of food?" he asked, sounding confused.

I tilted my head, confused as to why _he_ was confused. Then I remembered.

"Ohh, I keep forgetting, Wizarding children wouldn't know about The Three Little Bears or Cinderella."

"So you mean, like, fairy tales? Nah, I was raised on Beedle."

There was another short silence. I felt a smile form on my lips as I asked another question.

"Which one's your favorite?"

"The Three Brothers."

"Mine too," I answered quietly.

We came to some rocks covered with frost. James helped me over them, holding my arm gently and hoisting me up. We were at the shack now.

It stood before us, its wood dark and oddly limp looking. The windows were broken and still weeping shards of glass. The chimney was crooked and the tiles on the roof looked as if they had been thrown together and stuck haphazardly in place with glue.

I looked at it for a few minutes feeling sympathy for its dilapidation, before moving to lean on its twisted iron fence.

I soaked in the view.

The whole of Hogsmeade was set out below us like a chessboard, white smoke trailing up sleepily from a few chimneys and small colored dots moving through the streets, in and out of the miniature buildings.

James leaned on the fence next to me, our elbows brushing.

"So, are you going to tell me the _real_ reason you like autumn or not?"

James seemed startled by the suddenness of my question, but recovered himself fast.

"I'd think it was obvious. Because the red of the leaves remind me of you."

He paused, taking in my expression before I turned away hastily and focused on Hogwarts in the distance, smoky and large, like a mirage.

"I see. I suppose that trouble-makers-turned-do-gooders can be romantic when they want to," I said, trying to cover up how flustered I was inside. I don't know how well I did.

James shuffled his feet and buried his hands in his jean pockets, looking up at the sky, his neck and earlobes turning red.

* * *

><p>I have a theory! Everyone blushes differently, Ron's ears go red, but how does Harry blush? Like his father of course!<p>

I hope James didn't sound too corny, but in my defence- I couldn't help myself XD

Until next time!


	21. Chapter 21: The prankster's girlfriend

Right! Here's yet another sweet chapter! (I'm really quite fond of this one!)

P.S I don't own J.K Rowling's beloved characters, nor am I responsible for any cavities you may receive after reading this chapter!

(But apologize to your dentists for me anyway please!)

* * *

><p>The next week everything seemed to become more colorful than it had been before.<p>

The dull hues of the corridors seemed to glow and even lessons were easier to handle when your mind wandered away from them.

It was good, feeling sure about something for once, even if I didn't admit it properly.

Willa and Alice didn't force the confession from me, they didn't need to.

Willa was more cheerful than usual, and it wasn't a destructive kind of joy either. Alice seemed less high strung and breezed easily through potions, her face staying a normal shade of peach.

When asked how she had developed an ease over a boiling cauldron, that seemed near impossible for her to achieve last year, she simply averted her eyes and mumbled something about Frank Longbottom.

Willa and Alice also seemed to make as many excuses as possible to get me alone. Then as soon as they disappeared James would come into view, looking just as confused as I was and equally red-faced.

But we never complained.

He would plop down next to me and start an essay, furrowing his brow, chewing on the end of his quill and fiddling with the strap of his bag, his eyes darting my way every few seconds.

We never finished any homework when we were together.

I would lean over to help him and we would veer completely off topic, talking about Quidditch teams, family, how long the other could hold their breath, treacle tart and Professors.

Sometimes we never talked at all, but the silence was filled with so many thoughts, that sometimes, it felt like my head would burst.

I wasn't sure what we were _exactly_.

My mind said friend and nodded in a wise way, but sometimes it felt a notch higher than just _friends._

I decided to stay seated and see where this wild train ride took me, after all, who could it hurt?

I also found myself with Black, Lupin and Pettigrew often, which surprised me- it was sort of an unconscious decision.

In the common room I just seemed to gravitate towards their usual corner and slip in next to James.

Sirius, I noticed, was incredibly funny, but his humor was sometimes on the sarcastic and cruel side. He was reckless, but friendly in a curious just-met-you-so-you're-interesting kind of way.

I couldn't help but suspect that there was a past to him that I didn't know about.

I knew that I would learn it by staying silent, growing closer and reminding myself not to judge too quickly, even though I wanted to put him down as immature and stick the label onto his forehead.

I found my study partners consisted not only of a complaining Willa, but a quiet Remus as well.

Alice always apologized profoundly when she couldn't make it to the library to finish homework with us- we didn't mind.

She was perfectly entitled to switching partners every now and then- _especially _if that partner had managed to calm her nerves in potions.

Remus's discussion was much more in-depth and interesting than the kind I could get with Sirius.

Of course, he had no idea that I knew about him being a werewolf. But, I'm sure he'll work it out eventually, if I'm not as discreet with the cards I plan to send him annually.

Peter seemed, to me, like an alright person. He was often teased, but James, Remus and Sirius seemed to have completely and utterly inducted him into their group, even if Peter still seemed to worship the shoes on their feet.

He was sweet, when you gave him a chance, I decided.

I spent around a week in Marauder territory.

Most of that time went into telling Sirius off with no real conviction.

I could see why James thought so much of them though- they were beginning to grow on me too.

The grounds had been buried in the annual blast of thick snow and students were turning blue in the corridors- Christmas was fast approaching and would soon knock homework and responsibilities clean out of everyone's minds.

That could only mean one thing for the Prefects and Heads... decorating duty.

"Peeves! Hand over that tinsel! No-I didn't mean try to strangle a first year with it!" I yelled furiously as I flew down the corridor, skidding onto my knees and untying the tinsel from around the neck of a small boy from Slytherin- who looked like he was about to faint- or tattle, either one.

"Don't worry, he's usually not this violent," I said kindly, patting the boy on the shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile before threatening Peeves with a shaky fist.

"Do you think the Bloody Baron would be pleased if you hurt a student from _his _house Peeves? Do you?" I practically hissed the last part.

"Alright, Alright! Don't get your knickers in a twist, Little Miss Lily Evans, with two good girl shoes!" Peeves cackled, but his already pale face had gone even whiter.

He then flew down the corridor, belting out a rude version of Jingle Bells.

I put my hands on my hips and huffed for a few moments before stringing the tinsel around a portrait of a Knight and a Fat Pony.

"Hark! A fair Maiden! Do you, lovely lady, need rescuing? I shall smight-"

"No, I'm good, thanks for asking Sir Cadogan; don't injure yourself for my sake," I interrupted, stifling a laugh as the portly Knight hoisted an enormous sword above his head and toppled over backwards. The pony, however, was less polite about it. It whinnied with amusement until it was wheezing and out of breath.

Suddenly a bunch of mistletoe appeared in front of my eyes. I whirled around and bumped foreheads with James.

"Ow! A simple 'no' to the kiss would suffice!" he said, rubbing at his head, his eyes laughing. He was still holding the mistletoe; it was tied with a red ribbon.

I rolled my eyes, reached up and moved his hand away from his forehead, standing on my toes to kiss his temple.

"There. It wasn't a 'no' at all James," I said with a broad smile, before turning on my heel and heading back to the Great Hall at a run. James followed soon after.

"Hey! I think you missed by, like, a_ lot_ Lily!"

"Oh did I? My bad!" I called as I dodged around the corner and flew down stairs, nearly bumping into Hagrid, who was dragging a tree across the entrance hall.

He poked his bearded head through the bristly branches.

"Doing alrigh' there, Lily?" he asked, his beetle black eyes amused.

It was then that James cascaded into me, sending us both rocketing into the tree, squashing Hagrid underneath.

I found myself choking on pine needles and laughing harder than I can ever remember laughing.

"Lily, are you ok? Oh no, I broke my girlfriend! Great, this has got to be some kind of record-"

Well, at least my mind can stop kidding itself, I know where we are now- I'm his girlfriend.

"James, I'm fine, get a hold of yourself," I said, searching for his hand through the branches. He found me first, grasping my arm and pulling me out of the broken explosion of bark and pine needles.

He looked extremely relieved, physically relaxing. I simply smiled and picked some needles out of his hair, laughing a little under my breath.

That was when Hagrid emerged, spluttering and checking the tree over.

"Nuthin' the professors can't cover up nicely," he muttered then, with a pause, he looked over as us. We smiled sheepishly up at him, James waggling his fingers in a comical wave.

"So, you two're finally together, thought it'd never happen! I'm happy for the both of yeh!" Hagrid said beaming and pulling us into a quick bear hug that almost shattered our ribs, before dragging his ruined tree into Great Hall, still smiling behind his beard.

He said it loudly enough to get every passer by's attention.

There was an explosion from every student in our year.

"_Finally!_"

"I knew it!"

"Aw, I always knew they'd be a cute couple!"

"You owe me two galleons Jones!"

People walked by James and clapped him hard on the shoulder and girls giggled and squealed, some looking crestfallen, some giddy.

It seemed every seventh year had been _expecting_ us to happen.

James leaned over and whispered in my ear, lacing his fingers through mine.

"Our relationship is a secret, so, of course, everybody knows."

* * *

><p>Remus and Sirius thought life would get a whole lot easier with James and Lily dating.<p>

It did, but honestly, Sirius had learnt more than what he found comfortable about Lily. He even knew what her favorite dessert was, and to Sirius, this was just a step away from knowing what kind of drapes she had in her home.

Of course, James had begun toning down the Lily talk and apart from that, hadn't changed much. Except for the fact that he was truly happy, bright and ready to laugh and muck about like the old days.

He was a better version (morally) of the old James; the one Sirius had instantly become best friends with.

The cracks that the summer had created had been filled by Lily, and to Remus and Sirius, this was the best thing that had come out of this whole James and Lily deal.

So who were they to complain?

Remus was enjoying getting to know his friend's girlfriend and Sirius was having fun making her annoyed. Peter also seemed to enjoy her company- she treated him fairly, ruffled his hair and was kind enough to help him with his Transfiguration homework when Remus was busy.

James had found the three of them in the common room, looking a little worse for the wear for just coming back from decorating.

"What happened to you mate? Did the Christmas tree swallow you alive?" Sirius asked, snorting with laughter. James grinned and plopped into an armchair across from him.

"Something like that, yeah."

"Did the mistletoe work? I don't need mistletoe to get girls to kiss me, but, you know, I hear it's romantic."

"Sort of," James said, shaking pine needles from his hair. "I'm seeing her again tonight."

"And what exactly _is_ tonight?" Remus asked, marking his page and shutting his book with a snap.

Sirius smirked.

"Well, she's a Marauder's girlfriend. She's got to learn the ways of the prankster."

Remus looked skeptical.

"You're not replacing the Slytherins' shampoo with frog spawn again are you?"

James and Sirius burst into laughter at the memory.

"That was a good one," Sirius said breathlessly, whipping away tears of amusement from his eyes.

James shook his head.

"Don't worry Moony, we're not going to pull off a prank together, that's me, you, Wormtail and Padfoot's specialty."

Remus settled slightly, but he still seemed a little weary.

"Alright, as long as you don't enchant everyone's goblets to throw out peoples pumpkin juice onto the table again."

"Hey, at least we didn't make them spit it back out at you, we opted for making the table sticky instead," Sirius said with a chuckle.

"Oh, I'm sure everyone was very grateful to you Sirius," Remus answered drily, the corners of his mouth twitching.

* * *

><p>It was rather hard to concentrate on homework that evening.<p>

I might have been able to force myself to work, if it hadn't been for the badly folded paper crane bumping into my head over and over again.

"You're not going to stop until I read you, right?" I said out of the corner of my lips. The crane halted in its tracks and gave a small nod.

Willa and Alice pretended not to watch as I caught the crane and unfolded it, smoothing out the creases gently and reading on.

_Midnight, in the common room. I thought we could go for a stroll?_

_- James… (Hopes that he didn't sound like a total prat by using the word "stroll".)_

I stifled a laugh and glanced across the common room to where James was sitting, pretending to whistle and check the time, his wand sticking traitorously out of his robe pocket.

I turned the parchment over and scribbled my reply before levitating it over the heads of the students in the room. I deposited it neatly in his lap.

_Alright, see you then. _

_-Lily… (Thinks "stroll" is a perfectly good word.)_

I gave a sigh, a small breath that told time to hurry up and turned back to my text book the size and thickness of a paving slab- whatever interest I had in its worn pages had evaporated.

Willa and Alice hurriedly shifted their gazes and dived back into loud discussion.

They had been trying to read the letter upside down.

"Real discreet you two."

"Discreet's my middle name," Willa said with a wide smile that almost reached her ears.

She had obviously deciphered the message.

"I thought your middle name was Emily?" Alice said.

Willa elbowed her, but they were both grinning like gnomes after having a thimble full of firewhisky each.

And a thimble was _way_ too much alcohol for a gnome.

I was struggling to summon some annoyance at the two of them, when Alice leaned closer over piles of scrunched up parchment, dropping her voice to a whisper.

"We'll cover for you if someone notices you're gone."

"Yes, we'll say you sleep walk," Willa said brightly.

"Just as long as you don't tell them I've gone to the _loo,_ I'm ok with it," I said with a glance over at Sirius.

That honestly was the worst cover up story _ever _and I wasn't forgetting it in a hurry.

* * *

><p>I didn't sleep very much and at midnight, I was still in that place between sleep and consciousness that makes your vision blurry and your mind lazy.<p>

I knuckled my eyes and rubbed away the non-existent sleep as I shoved my feet into my slippers before moving cautiously past my sleeping dorm mates.

I crept silently down the stairs, flinching when a stair creaked and fiddling with my hair nervously. It was a habit I had been developing.

I stopped touching my hair and instead took one deep breath.

The common room was comfortably toasty despite the dying embers in the fireplace.

I stretched as I moved into the room, yawning and shaking the drowsiness from my system, I wanted to be completely awake.

There was a light tap on my shoulder and I turned my head curiously, expecting James, but no one was there. I felt my eyes grow wide and registered a quick stab of fear to my stomach. It was quickly extinguished when a small chuckle reached my ears.

I fumed, my hands on my hips.

"James!" I whispered. "I know it's you!"

He appeared inches away from me, so close that I could see a hazy reflection of myself in his round glasses.

I didn't flinch, but I really hadn't been expecting him to be that near me.

"Hope I didn't give you a scare Lily," He said, grinning and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear gently.

"You didn't quite _scare_ me, but the concern is appreciated," I said, putting my hand over his.

We stood still for a few seconds, barely breathing, before James seemed to yank himself out of a trance, taking his hand away and beginning to rifle through his pocket.

"How did you do that?" I asked, also shaking myself slightly.

"Do what?" He answered, not meeting my eyes.

"You know what."

He straightened up then, his smile becoming confident and much like the kind he wore around his friends.

He pulled out a bundle of shimmering fabric from out of his pocket, it had been rolled up tight so it would fit, but there wasn't a crease to be seen. It seemed to glitter like water in the summer. The surface of it looked glossy and smooth.

He let me reach out and run it through my fingers. It felt like it was barely there.

"An invisibility cloak," I said curiosity and impressed awe bright in my voice. It was more of a statement than a question.

James seemed to swell with pride.

"Exactly, it's been in my family for generations. You have no idea how handy it's been."

I looked up at him then, an eyebrow arching itself upwards.

"So _this_ is how you've managed to cause so much chaos!" I said, attempting to sound accusing, but I didn't succeed. Instead, I sounded heavily amused.

James simply shrugged, his eyes twinkling in that self-satisfied way of his, but this time, there was tenderness in his gaze too.

"What can I say? I like the smell of havoc in the morning."

I laughed then, straightening up, and hooking an arm through his.

"Are we going for a stroll or not then, James?"

"Of course, m'lady, I just had to show off my darling cloak, you know, to get that off my chest."

I smiled up at him and patted his arm in what I hoped was royal way.

"It is perfectly fine my good sir, please, do lead on."

He threw the cloak over us as we made our way over to the portrait hole.

"Won't the fat lady notice that no ones there?" I asked as it swung open.

"She knows it's me by now, so she doesn't fret."

"How many times have you used this exactly?"

"Oh, who keeps count anymore?"

* * *

><p>The next chapter should be out in a couple of days! I won't make you wait long- cross my heart and hope to cry! Like really cry until I'm dehydrated!<p>

Oh and I won't spoil anything, but, you know, something big happens in the next chapter that I know most of you have been waiting for...

until then!


	22. Chapter 22: Love me, need me?

OK, it was a little delayed, but school started and it practically sucked my brain dry of all creativity and will to be imaginative, just like a vampire! Darn you, Edward Cullen!

Well... I have a feeling I'll be heartily forgiven after this chapter though! Mark my words!

Go on then! I ain't ole' voldy, I won't bite cha then kill ya!

Read the chapter!

* * *

><p>"Stick close Lily, the cloak isn't as big as it used to be. I swear it was <em>much <em>larger when I was in first year…"

"Why are we using an invisibility cloak anyway? We won't get in trouble without it."

"I hardly _ever_ get to use it anymore! It's so dull being on the good side of the law- besides, where's your sense of adventure?"

"I snuck out with you didn't I?" I answered testily, even though I wasn't the least bit annoyed.

"Yes, but you just pointed out that we've got immunity, ole' Filch face won't be able to throw us into detention, even if he wanted to."

I rolled my eyes at his reply, but didn't express my fake irritation any further. I stayed close by his side, shuffling along dark corridors, watching shadows dart from wall to wall as clouds drifted dreamily in front of the crescent moon.

The night was airy and the cold pricked half-heartedly at our clothes.

We stopped at the first corner and I was introduced to the Marauders' Map.

It looked like a brilliant piece of charm work, and again, I couldn't disguise my interest and awe. I touched the two dots on the third corridor labeled "James Potter" and "Lily Evans". As I drew back the two small figures suddenly embraced and hearts fluttered around them.

I folded the parchment hurriedly and pushed it back into James's waiting hands. He had been watching my expression carefully.

I could see he enjoyed the opportunity to show off the Marauders expertise.

"All clear," I said, averting my gaze and trying to will my flushed face back into a normal state.

He grinned, his eyes looking almost luminous in the dim light.

"Excellent, I've got a lot I'd like to show you."

* * *

><p>James ignored the map as best he could when Lily handed it back to him, looking anywhere but at him.<p>

Words were appearing on the surface and he wasn't too keen on Lily seeing them, _especially _since the map was as mischievous as all the Marauders combined. It was a sort of glitch they had tried fruitlessly to fix. James and Remus had only just given up.

At first, James thought it made the map that little bit more unique, but at times like these, it was just irritating. It had all the Marauders' personalities in between its folds and would spout insults at whoever tried to unlock its secrets.

It would _also _offer some "moral support" in times like these.

_Mr. Padfoot would like to offer up some advice to Mr. Prongs; kiss the lady before she loses interest. _

_Mr. Moony would absolutely love to interrupt Mr. Padfoot here- as he is leading poor Mr. Prongs astray._

_Mr. Padfoot asks Mr. Moony to please stop berating his love advice as it is pure gold._

"Yeah, well, _Mr. Prongs _is going mad with nerves- and, for a map, you're _very _patronizing!" James muttered through gritted teeth.

"What was that, James?" Lily asked curiously from just behind him.

"Nothing, nothing!" He answered hastily.

_Mr. Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail would like to point out that you helped create this map!_ Those were the parchment's last words, as James chose that moment to stuff it back into his pocket unceremoniously, trying hard to keep his cool.

He led Lily everywhere he could think of, showing her all the secret passages he was sure she had absolutely no idea about.

He led her from one to the next, telling her how he and his friends had found them and what they had, ahem, used them for.

On more than one occasion Lily cried out "So _that's_ how you did it!" forcing James to quickly cover her mouth and shush her- after all, the cloak was for invisibility, it wasn't sound proof.

"I'm sorry, but this really is news to me James," Lily had said the third time this occurred, yanking his hand away from her face.

"Are you sure you should be revealing your secrets like this?" She continued, her smile teasingly devious.

James scoffed, grinning breezily.

"That's an empty threat that is Lily; you'd never sell us out."

They had just finished looking at the hidden route behind the mirror on the fourth floor.

"That was quite roomy for a secret passage," Lily commented, hurriedly changing the subject as James helped her out, offering his arm with a small bow.

"Yeah, it's great isn't it? Nice and comfy, you know, if you fancy sneaking past Filch into Hogsmeade whenever you like in _style_."

Lily laughed and shook her head, making James's stomach feel like he was levitating off the ground.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me, need me, never leave me?" he asked hopefully, flashing her another quick grin.

She ruffled his hair, making it even more untidy than it had been before.

"We shall see Mr. Potter, we shall see."

"Hey, hey watch the hair!" James said in mock defense, catching her hand with his and beginning to play with her fingers as they continued down the corridor.

"I feel like you're trying to sell the castle to me, the way you're going on about these passages," she said lightly, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Well, you've got to admit, they are ruddy brilliant."

"I admit nothing," she mumbled, but she had a smile on her face.

Next they went to the statue of Gregory the Smarmy on the floor up.

The statue had a shifty look about him and his eyes seemed to flicker up and down the corridor while maintaining an air of arrogance and simpering self-worth.

"Never liked this bloke," James said, patting the stone's shoulder, "But there's another great one through here."

He rapped the goblet in Gregory the Smarmy's hands with his wand and a small opening appeared.

"After you, Lily."

* * *

><p>As James explained the stunts he and the Marauders had pulled using these clever passages, I couldn't help but feel touched, like he was a magician revealing how he did the tricks.<p>

And every muggle knows, a magician _never_ exposes his secrets. In this case, it was an _almost_ never.

These passages and those memories were really close to his heart, it was as plain as the enthusiasm in his voice.

So I listened to him, liking the sound of his voice and treating his stories with genuine interest.

The next passage was behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy. It was tiny and cramped and, compared to the last one, miniscule. There was barely enough room for me and James to stand side by side.

The statue slid shut, plunging us into such a complete darkness that you could have cut it with a knife.

James muttered a swear word and felt blindly through the gloom. I felt the cloak tumble in a great glittering waterfall onto the stairs in the mild confusion.

My hand fumbled for my wand and it sparked into life immediately, watery silver light filling up the small space more affectively than a match.

"You alright there James?" I asked finding his hand. "You're not scared of the dark are you?"

I saw his lips twitch as he wove his fingers between mine.

"Me? The great James Potter? There's very little that frightens me… what about you?"

I looked at my feet and thought through a list of things that petrified me.

"Same here. The dark is the least of my worries."

I wondered briefly if he was lying too.

He sank to the steps, settling down comfortably and bringing me down with him, still holding onto my hand.

"Well, if there was something that scared you, Lily, I think I'd give it a stern talking to. 'Don't go around scaring peoples girlfriends, you git! I don't care if you're an innocent spider or whatever, just don't scare her!' like that, see?" He said it in such a gentle voice that I knew it was only supposed to be half humorous.

If I put myself back into my fourth, or even second year's shoes, I knew that I never thought I'd be with James right now, especially like this, I was so…anti-James.

But my current state of mind was wondering _why _I never considered it, not even for a second.

I'm not contemplating a future where I _wasn't _with James like this.

It's confusing, but, not in a bad way.

James was looking at me now, the light from my wand reflected in his eyes.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable but it was punctured with thoughts.

For once it didn't feel like my head was going to burst.

I felt his breath against my face and his hand cupping my cheek lightly. I moved closer instinctively.

There was barely a centimeter between our lips now.

My eyelids slid shut.

_Nox. _

* * *

><p>Sirius and Remus knew that James had kissed Lily when he came back, because again, he was fighting the urge to burst into song and start doing that odd Irish jig. There was this big, stupid grin on his face, it almost reached his ears and didn't go away for hours and hours. Even when it disappeared, it would creep back when he was lost in thought.<p>

Willa and Alice knew that Lily had kissed James when she began singing in the shower the next morning. She hummed when she did her homework and there was more sunlight in her smile.

"Ahhh, young love," Willa had sighed one day so that only Alice would hear.

"The feeling of looking across ze room and seeing only one person, it is romantic, no?" she said, rolling her r's and doing a horrible French accent.

Alice had simply laughed and agreed heartily, blushing when Frank gave her a small wave.

Willa knew the feeling perfectly well, but she had resigned herself to the fact that it was one-sided and, she thought pessimistically, always would be.

Sirius had resigned himself to the fact that Willa wasn't in the least bit interested and, he thought just as pessimistically, it was bruising his ego heavily, so much so, that it was completely black and blue.

The two were simply too stubborn for their own good, it would make them ill one day.

But, Lily had been stubborn too, hadn't she?

And now, she was glowing and singing James's botched version of Celestia Warbeck's "You charmed the heart right out of me."

The Christmas holidays arrived on good spirits…basically.

* * *

><p>I had done something completely <em>insane<em> and was seriously scolding myself for it.

I had invited James to visit my sister and her… fiancée.

"They seriously can't be that bad Lily, stop fussing."

"Trust me James, they're, er, very… well…" I trailed off, biting my lip and beginning to fidget in my seat. I wanted to say that they _didn't _like magic, at all, but I couldn't get the words to leave my lips.

James slid closer and put an arm around my shoulder, holding me close and kissing my forehead reassuringly.

"I'll be on my best behavior; I know this means the world to you. I'll be a good boy, I promise."

I gave a shuddery breath and met his eyes.

"James Potter, promising to _behave_? Now this, I have to see."

"Hey, it's possible!"

I gave a shaky laugh and laid my head on his shoulder, soothed slightly by his presence and the sound of the train as it trundled along the tracks, smoke billowing in the wind as it weaved between snowy hills and sleepy towns.

The constant sway of movement and the sound of people in the next compartment over, shuffling and laughing, had become so familiar to me, it was almost as comforting as a mothers voice or an old song you sang when you were nine.

The Christmas holidays were always bright with good spirits and airy with relief- a week off from studying and school work did that.

December the thirteenth was especially chirpy, as that day was when the Hogwarts express left the station, transporting students home to celebrate.

For the fifth and Seventh years- it was the calm before the storm.

We had a compartment to ourselves, which was the hardest thing to accomplish on the Hogwarts express when it came to the holiday period.

But everyone avoided us, whispering behind their hands "Let's leave the lovebirds be, shall we?", "They're too cute to interrupt!" James simply laughed and waved, his easy smile in place.

I was peeved by all the extra attention and a little warm under the collar, but it didn't seem to bother James in the slightest and if he was embarrassed, the only evidence was how red his neck was.

"Aren't they going to miss you? Remus, Sirius and Peter…" I asked, with my eyes closed, listening to James's rhythmic breathing.

James took a few seconds to ponder his reply.

"They understand, I think being with you is more important right now. Especially after seeing how tightly strung you've become because of your sister's invite."

I snorted, but didn't open my eyes or move from my spot.

"She invited us grudgingly; my mother must have urged her to do it. If it were up to her…if it were up to them I mean, we wouldn't be on the train right now," I felt my voice quiver near the end and trail off again feebly, almost tearfully.

It was hard, not being on proper speaking terms with your sister. I always tried to be brutally frank with myself about Petunia and I liked to kid myself that I knew why she was like this.

But it was becoming difficult to understand her these days.

"She went on a typing course in London and met Vernon there; he used to come around our neighborhood as well. They're getting married later on this year," I continued in a quiet voice.

James didn't say anything for a bit. Then, I felt something soft brush against my cheek followed by a tingly sensation, it dropped to my arms and then back to my face, making my nose wrinkle and a small laugh escape my lips.

"There, that's better; I like it when you laugh Lily. A depressed Lily just wouldn't do," James said, brandishing the quill he had used to tickle my nose like a wand.

"Cut it out James, I'm trying to be _serious_," I said, shoving him teasingly. My voice didn't sound reprimanding at all.

"I should hope not, I don't fancy dating my best mate," James said, grinning, his eyes twinkling in a familiar way as he tucked the quill back into his pocket.

I rolled my eyes and put his arm back around me, to show that there weren't any hard feelings.

"That pun is getting so old."

"Personally, I like it. It's much less embarrassing than Snuffles."

"Snuffles?"

"Long story," James said with a laugh.

* * *

><p>Well that's it for now! I know I got a little caught up with this one, but please be paitent!<p>

Until next time! (P.S I've just adjusted the time differences in the last chapters to accomodate, it feels like I've been buidling up to christmas forever XD)


	23. Chapter 23: Riffles and flarearms?

PHEW. This chapter is so long! How did it turn out this way? There was so much to type! I hope it's entertaining and I reeeeally hope you don't hate me by the end of it.

SPOILER: it's something to do with Willa and Sirius!

Enough talk!

It's time to persue the story!

* * *

><p>Willa and Alice had decided that they wanted to spend their seventh year Christmas at Hogwarts with their dorm mates and some other Gryffindor girls.<p>

They were getting ready for a tearful week, as old school things kept cropping up everywhere, bombarding them with fresh memories.

Alice, anticipating a lazy holiday, had worn away at Willa to finish her homework early.

After all, it would be best for both of the girls mental health- especially with N.E.W.T's on the horizon.

It was a steep feat; it was almost as daunting as flying on a broom through a Swedish Short-Snout reserve.

Needless to say… such a race _does _exist.

Willa was sloth like, catatonic when asleep, too lazy to even pick up a quill most days, and so, brutal motivation was often Alice's last resort.

There was a very memorable occasion in their fourth year, where Alice and Mary had literally _dragged_ Willa down the Girl's dormitory stairs to get her to study, slippers, bed head and all.

Willa ended up with many bruises, but it was really her own fault. She kept trying to grip onto the stairs in a vain attempt to get back to bed.

She is such a stubborn bird, that one- as Sirius so bluntly put it.

"It's going to be an utter disaster, isn't it?" Willa asked absently mindedly as she doodled on the side of her essay.

It was nearing the evening, gold light glaring through the common room windows. Holiday had just started and Willa had one last final stretch of homework, then both her and Alice would be free, free, free- that is, until schooling burst into motion again.

Alice, who had been supervising her sternly, her kind eyes peering over the top of her book every few seconds, paused to consider her answer.

"Probably, this is big test for James, we have to be supportive. The poor bloke is going to _suffer _this Christmas."

"That is why, Alice dah-ling, we must be at the ready to pick up the pieces and comfort Lily when it all heads south."

"You seem confident it's going to go awfully wrong Willa."

Willa peered up at Alice then, covering her doodle with her hand as she did so.

Her brown eyes, although they were the same color, couldn't have been more different than Alice's own; the mischievous gleam was accompanied by a look of agreement.

"Oh, I don't know on which _side_ things will turn. But I do know that James will be a perfect peach, so the problem lies _elsewhere_."

The way she said_ elsewhere _left Alice in no doubt to whom she was referring.

Willa had heard many a horror story about a monster named Tuney and she always wrinkled her nose when her name was mentioned in conversation, even though Lily always tried to shine a positive light on her older sister.

Alice blew at a stray chunk of hair, tucking it behind her ear as she digested the statement.

"_Who's_ a perfect peach? You're not talking behind my back, are you, Willa? Alice?" Sirius asked suddenly, leaning over the back of Willa's arm chair, his eyes on both girls as he spoke. His gaze seemed to drift downwards however, to Willa's essay.

Her hand wasn't covering her doodle half as effectively as before.

Her eyes widened in that split second, as the words written in neat swirly text, emblazoned with miniature drawings, shone up at him, like they had been written in the air with magic.

She smacked her hand onto the parchment, hiding the drawing instantly and sliding it into her bag in one swift move.

Sirius hadn't gotten such an eyeball full after all- he simply got a glimpse.

"We're talking about James," Alice said, not noticing at all. "He's meeting Lily's sister this week."

Sirius let out a low whistle, tearing his eyes away from a flustered Willa.

"Ahh, meeting the in-laws. Poor Prongs, he's one step away from the old ball and chain."

"You mean marriage?" Willa asked stiffly, something hidden in her voice.

"Yup," Sirius answered, popping the p.

"That's what most people are planning to do after school Sirius, they don't see it as some sort of torture device or trap," Alice piped in, sensing the tense air circling Willa like a bird of prey.

In fact, Alice knew very well _why_ so many people were hopping on the marriage express.

Who knows how long anyone has these days? Might as well try to compress life into one tiny diamond ring.

Sirius settled on the armrest of Willa's chair, scratching his head thoughtfully and slouching in that naturally ruffled, handsome way he did everything.

"Well, with that said Alice, what are you planning on doing after school?"

Alice took a moment to consider.

"Auror," She answered, her voice filled with steely conviction.

Sirius nodded wisely.

"That sounds the only interesting job around. How about you, Willa?"

For one wild moment, Alice thought she was going to answer something along the lines of: "Oh yeah, I'm getting married as soon as possible and having five kids, you got a problem with that, Sirius?" but, she didn't.

"I'm thinking of going to Sweden," she said instead, looking at her lap.

"S-sweden! Why Sweden?"

Alice had never heard Sirius stutter before in her life and made a mental note to have her ears checked.

"You have something against Sweden, Sirius?" Willa asked, her eyes flashing.

"I'm sure he _loves_ Swedes Willa, but why're you going there of all places?" Alice cut in. This information was completely and utterly new to her, it was unnerving.

"For the annual broom race of course."

There was another silence.

Alice felt the blood drain from her face and her eyes pop out of her skull. Sirius fell off the arm rest, gaping like a fish.

"But-Willa, the course-the race- it goes through-are you mad! Have you lost it! Or am_ I_ the one that's raving?" he said in a rush, getting to his feet and practically yelling.

Gryffindors. Such tempers.

Sirius was no exception; his anger was as easily provoked as a sleeping hippogriff.

He had attracted the attention of everyone in the Common room with just a shout.

Remus gave him a surprised look from where he was sitting, his eyes going from Willa to Alice then flickering back over to Sirius, making invisible connections.

"I'm _not _mad! I want to compete!" Willa retorted, jumping to her feet as well, her voice rising with each word. It seemed she had been itching to start a fight and Sirius had simply fueled the fire somehow.

"Bollocks! It's reckless and- and, just stupid!"

"Look who's talking," Willa yelled, throwing her hands into the air, sounding slightly hysterical.

When Sirius failed to answer, she turned on her heel and stormed past Mary and Marlene and out the portrait hole.

She didn't look back.

Sirius looked after her, his eyes smoldering, his hands clenched into fists, then, with a sound like an angry kneazle, he marched stiffly off to the boys' dormitory.

Alice let out a small sigh and looked across the room at a perplexed Remus.

"I was so hoping for a quiet Christmas," she said to him.

* * *

><p>Sirius threw himself grumpily onto his four-poster bed, drawing the curtains so roughly around him that they ripped. He was muttering darkly under his breath, using many colorful words.<p>

He fixed the fabric shoddily and tried again to hide himself behind them.

He put his arms behind his head as he lay back, letting out a sigh like an old man settling into a chair, a very _livid _looking old man that is.

Yes, he had seen the girl fly before, she was brilliant sure, pretty fast yeah, but that wasn't going to stop her becoming some ruddy beast's supper.

The race went right through a Silver short-snout reserve for heaven's sake! Did she want to _die_ or something?

As if she wasn't in enough danger of dying just by walking around her neighborhood these days, why did she want to increase the mortality rate?

Did she fancy losing a couple of limbs for fun?

Did she seriously think no one would care?

Why wasn't Alice stopping her?

Didn't she mind if her friend got gobbled up by some gigantic scaly lizard?

Was he the only sane one left in the whole of Hogwarts!

"_Women!_" he snapped to no one in particular.

* * *

><p>Willa stormed down the hall, thunder flashing in her eyes, her hair crackling with angry electricity, past the picture of the fat lady, who didn't seem keen to have a chat with this red faced, scary looking youth anyway.<p>

If anyone tried to talk to her she hissed and growled at them like an angry cat, then hurried off in the other direction.

That poor second year was now scarred for life- he was half convinced he'd just met a banshee or medusa.

Just to be safe he checked that he hadn't been turned into stone and then rushed off to the hospital wing so that Madam Pomfrey could check his ears- after all, the scream of the banshee was fatal.

Who knew what kind of damage a growl from a banshee could do.

Finally she slumped against a stone wall, hidden between two suits of armor, her arms folded, her lips a thin line- looking uncannily like Professor McGonagall.

She had been considering the race since she first flew a broom, but never told anyone her ponderings- after all; if the dragons didn't get her, Ted would, just for thinking about it.

But, being slightly arrogant herself, she knew there was no way she would get killed, in fact, in her mind; there was no way she could lose.

She has a _very _healthy confidence.

So what if she got a couple of burns? Just participating would excite her- wizards from all over the _world_ compete- who could possibly pass _that_ up?

Graduating, getting a nice cozy job, meeting someone, getting married, having kids, settling down for the rest of her life- the notion intrigued her, but it didn't satisfy her.

Yes, it's dangerous, but not if she trained until her muscles were on fire, kept her wand ready and did some research on Silver short-snouts- Hagrid would be more than happy to assist her, she was sure.

Besides, she hadn't cemented the idea until a few days ago.

But now… _now_ there was no way she_ wasn't_ doing it.

What did she have to lose?

* * *

><p>James was out of his mind with nerves.<p>

He buried his hands in his pockets then changed his mind, running his fingers through his hair in a sort of anxious repetitive rhythm, stopping only when Lily placed a hand on over his own, hers small and pale, his large and callused from lengthy broom rides.

Despite this, he managed to keep a knight-in-shining-armor-expression in front of Lily, although his jaunty air evaporated when the train cruised to a smooth halt.

He was determined to make a_ glowing_ first impression; anything short of shining would bruise his ego for life.

Or at least, he had to make sure they didn't despise him.

Angry muggle fathers were rumored to have those 'flarearms' or 'riffles' or whatever they were called and James wasn't keen to prove that whispered piece of superstition true.

After all, trouble makers aren't popular with parents.

Although the rational part of his mind was completely and utterly sure that anyone related to Lily wouldn't be in the least hostile.

Then again, you could never be _too _careful.

So, it was with a deep breath and steely resolve that he got out of the Hogwarts Express, helping Lily down the stairs and scanning the crowd.

"We'll have to get a taxi," she said from next to him, "They wanted to come and fetch us, but I thought it would have been better if we made our own way there."

"Uh… a taxi?" He asked, giving her a confused look.

It _was_ a muggle term right?

It sounded like a mode of transport, like floo powder- he hated travelling by fireplace, it was much too sooty for his taste, but this 'taxi' sounded rather ominous.

Lily laughed at the look on his face.

"We can apparate if you'd prefer."

"No, its fine; when with muggles, do as they do. My dad says that like it's some sort of lucky chant. It's only because he can't even work a muggle mailbox, let alone a ticket what-sit."

"Ticket barrier you mean."

"Exactly! You hit the gnome on the noggin', Lily."

She let out a clear bell like laugh and hooked her arm through his.

"Honestly, James. You should have taken muggle studies."

"Should I have? The only muggle I need to study is right next to me-"

Lily elbowed him then, her forehead as crimson as her hair.

"Ow! You know, loving you is painful! But, it's an _incredibly_ bearable pain," James mumbled the last part as an after thought, smiling down at her sincerely.

"Anyway, er, I think we should apparate," she replied hurriedly, averting her gaze.

James sighed with relief and took hold of the luggage.

"If you _really_ insist," He said, visibly relaxing.

* * *

><p>They arrived at a normal, cozy looking house, with a neat lawn dusted with frost.<p>

The blue front door flew open and a scarlet haired woman came flying down the white stone path at Lily, embracing her warmly and exclaiming her happiness at seeing her again.

Lily returned the hug, burying her face in her mother's shoulder.

James realized with a pang that she must have been worried about her parents.

She must have wanted to check on them as soon as possible.

It was always hard remembering it wasn't safe anymore.

He watched almost wistfully, setting the trunks down next to the white picket fence and drowning in memories of his own mother, but it was no longer achingly painful to reminisce.

It was comforting.

James flashed Mrs. Evans his signature grin, which he hoped was more charming than an up-to-no-good smirk, and extended his hand.

* * *

><p>As my mother ushered us into the house, she whispered in my ear, smilingly slyly; "He's quite handsome isn't he?".<p>

Thank the _stars_ James didn't hear.

After that, I gave him a brief tour of my child-hood home, absurdly embarrassed when it came to my bedroom.

I snuck a peek in my parents' room before showing him it though, to make sure dad hadn't left any delicates out and mum had at _least_ had the decency to stack her makeup nicely and clean away the lipstick stains on the bed.

Petunia's room was devoid of most of her belongings, looking bare and tearful when we greeted it from the doorway. It wasn't surprising… she would have moved in with Vernon by now, into a squeaky clean house, a clone of a whole street.

We didn't linger there long.

Seeing the expression on my face, James had started commenting on the fax machine- which he called _fat_ machine, and steered me away, his hands gentle on my shoulders.

We didn't have a guest room, a fact which my father cursed under his breath when James came into view.

Mum had offered, cheerfully, that James share with me, making dad spit out his tea and give her a wide-eyed look which clearly stated: "Are you out of your head, woman?".

Surprisingly, it was James who solved this problem.

"I could sleep on a camp bed; do you know where it is? I'll set it up."

Needless to say, dad was so impressed and enthusiastic about this plan, that he insisted to find the bed and put it together himself.

James shot me a double thumbs up and a roguish wink then, reminding me playfully that he was behaving after all.

It was mum, though, who stopped him from parking James in the laundry, saying he was being "excessively protective" and that he hadn't done that to Vernon at all.

Upon hearing the name "Vernon" James flinched slightly.

Learning that Tuney's boyfriend had gotten preferred treatment must have stung.

It certainly stung me; it was like four wasp stings in the same place.

Why would Vernon get special hospitality?

What was wrong with James? Wasn't it enough that I'd come to love him?

A while later, my mother put her hand on my shoulder consolingly, saying quietly that dad simply just did not know _what_ to make of James.

It didn't justify his actions at all.

But, I suppose, since Vernon has a nice, steady, well paid job and is generally a straight and narrow walrus; there isn't much guesswork to be done.

In my opinion, that makes him even more dry and unlikable but he was obviously good at taking care of my sister and for that, I was grudgingly grateful.

James isn't black and white, he isn't a dead end in a maze, he's a wet-start firework and a Quidditch pitch.

He's become the only person that can make me cry waterfalls or smile like I've swallowed the sun.

I _like_ not knowing what he'll do tomorrow.

If Petunia's as happy as she can possibly be with predictability, then I'll support her.

But that's not how I want James to be.

I thought all this as I went through my trunk, looking for something formal to wear.

We were meeting Tuney and Vernon at one of those fancy restaurants that give you a spoonful of food at a time. I wondered briefly how Vernon would cope with that little sustenance, then snapped inwardly at myself to be nice.

"I say the purple one," James said in my ear.

I jumped slightly, almost falling into my trunk, but James steadied me, grinning. I hadn't even noticed him kneel down beside me.

I scrutinized the long-sleeved knit dress for a few seconds.

It was the kind of thing I'd wear to one of the slug club parties, only to sneak out half way through, hoping that Slughorn wouldn't be too put out if he found that I had _mysteriously _disappeared.

It was practically brand new.

I nodded and gave him a shaky smile.

"Alright then, I haven't got anything else very formal. Mostly potion stained robes and I'm sure it's a 'dirty clothes, no entry' kind of place…" I mumbled, trailing off and throwing the dress onto my bed.

"I'll leave, shall I?" he asked after a short pause.

"Leave?" I asked, surprised, my mind whirring through a list of things that would make James feel like heaving his trunk onto the Hogwarts express early.

"Yeah, unless you're okay with dressing while I'm still in here."

"We're close James, but not that close," I said as I began shoving him out the door, relieved.

"Hey! I'm a gentleman; I would have left either way!" He laughed, wiggling his fingers at me as I closed the door on him in that comedic fashion of his, smiling that stupid irresistible smile.

I laughed quietly to myself as I pulled the dress over my head.

Leave it to James to make light of a situation that made my heart heavy with nerves.

* * *

><p>Thank you so much for the 60+ reviews guys! (61! WOOHOO!)<p>

I hope this chapter wasn't too long winded, I hadn't even realized I'd written that much!

Stay tuned on JAMES WATCH.


	24. Chapter 24: Hurricane Petunia

This ones a doozy people! I have made it an _utter_ fiasco!

How Owleyes you ask?

Read the chapter!

* * *

><p>It was tense.<p>

The air was stuffy and thick, like smog.

It was hard to choke down.

So much for deep breathing.

That technique wouldn't work in this oxygen deprived, velvet covered, coffin.

This particular coffin, however, was a restaurant.

Simply put, I was doomed.

I hated this place and I hated that I had dragged James into all this.

It was heavy on the satin and grandeur. Every surface was polished to an immaculate golden shine, to the point that even the chandelier dripping in diamonds was blinding to look at.

It was freezing out in the streets of Cokeworth, slush was where snow should be, pretending to be as powdery and fine- yet, it was anything but.

I preferred the refreshing chill to the sweat inducing, sickly warmth that surrounded us at our lonesome island that was smothered by a tablecloth.

I felt sorry for the waiters, who cruised around all the tables, sweating despite the cold outside.

James squeezed my hand under the table and shot me a consoling look, a look of confidence, his face set in a steely grimace, like he was getting ready for war.

Well, he might as well have been, as far as I was concerned, this was a battle to the _death_.

Maybe I was just being theatrical or dramatic.

Maybe I was just letting my petty nerves get the better of me.

But somehow, I just _knew. _

Even if his swagger was forced, his eyes still glittered with lingering determination.

It was good, seeing that mischief and realness in his face amongst all this sickly velvet and grumpy waiters, who spoke with fake French accents. It lifted my spirits.

I was calmed slightly as he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, making light conversation, even managing to make me laugh once or twice.

He had dressed up, looking naturally scruffy in his loose tie and red dress shirt. I was so grateful to him, he was trying so hard for my sake and Petunia and Vernon hadn't even _arrived _yet.

James had fidgeted with his clothes on the drive over.

I was doing the same next to him, apart from Slug club parties, I hadn't dressed up in so long and it was uncomfortable to be stuck in that fitting lilac dress, fiddling with my necklace, rolling my sleeves up, only to smooth them out a second later.

He loosened his tie until it hung completely undone, creased his shirt and, like me, couldn't sit still. It was then that I felt for his hand.

We only let go for the briefest moment when we were getting out of the car.

I managed to distract myself by looking up into the cloudless sky, stars winking and sparking down at me, looking like glitter tossed onto navy paper by a child.

I felt James stop and do the same next to me, bringing me close and tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, whispering reassurances.

For a while, I was completely calm.

That is, until we were seated.

Then I _definitely_ lost my cool.

* * *

><p>James tried to make light of everything.<p>

He even asked if he could drive.

"Hey, can I drive Lily?"

She had given him one long hard look.

"I'm sorry James, really I am, but I want to get to the restaurant in one piece."

James had adorned a look of shock, clutching his heart and swooning.

"How _dare _you doubt my muggle transportation skills! It can't be much harder than flying a broom can it?" he cried, quieting down during the last part and moving to the "muggle transportation", sliding in and touching the wheel gingerly, like it was an irritated knarl.

Lily laughed.

The sound wasn't tense and James was glad he had managed to make her crack a genuine smile.

James wasn't good with formal clothing. Making an acromantula giggle was easier than dressing for a fancy occasion to him.

He was a mud-and-Quidditch-uniform fella', he was an untucked shirt and messy hair person by nature (although, he couldn't help the hair part), sure he could clean up nice, as Lily put it, kissing him on the cheek gratefully, but he wasn't, and never would be, a black-tie-guy.

As he got out of the car, seeing Lily looking up at the sky, her face pale and her eyes glittering, reflecting the light of thousands of miniscule stars, he thought that tonight would have been better spent just taking a walk.

He loved that idea.

If there was a park nearby, that would be even better.

He could just grab her hand and make a run for it.

Forget this snooty looking restaurant and just relax.

He could make her laugh, the clear laugh he loved so much.

They could talk and amble along until they were good and lost.

But sadly, Lily's dad was already ushering them into the restaurant, saluting the couple before jumping into his car and zooming off, the tires screeching in his wake.

At least one person was free this evening.

He sat with Lily, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, doing it for both hers and his benefit.

Unlike her though, he didn't sense the hurricane.

* * *

><p>As soon as Petunia and Vernon came into view, James was finally able to connect the dots.<p>

Petunia was a thin woman with immaculately curled blonde hair that looked like plastic on closer inspection. Her nose was large, which probably made it easier for her to stick it up at everyone.

James was shocked by the contrast between the two sisters.

Lily had a face with soft curves, like the petals of a flower. Her cheeks were pink tinged and her smile was devastating. Her hair fell in easy dark scarlet waves, framing her almond shaped eyes.

Petunia had a coldness to her that James found prickly. Her teeth were horsey and her fingers bony.

As soon as she spotted James, from right across the crowded haze of a restaurant, she stuck her abnormally large nose up in the air and sent him a beady eyed look.

_Someone's_ inhaled dragon dung this evening, James thought bemusedly, not in the least bit discouraged.

This was the boy that had chased Lily Evans to the ends of the earth and back, he knew a thing or two about perseverance.

Potter men have a stubborn streak after all.

He was sure a shot of the old James charm would do the trick; it had gotten him out of tougher fixes than this.

Although... no "tougher fixes" came to mind.

Vernon was a completely different Beadle the bard tale to his fiancée.

He was large, portly and imposing. His mustache was bristly and distracting when he spoke, as it would flap about a bit.

His eyes were beady and he had an oily used-cauldron salesman air to him. His stiff formal suit was stretched to breaking point over his generous belly and his hair was scraped into a painful looking parting.

Now this bloke has _swallowed_ a baby dragon and lived to tell of the ghastly experience, James thought, more in curious admiration than cruelty.

The two were brought to their table by a particularly anxious, sweaty waiter, who looked as though he would be squashed into a pancake if Vernon so much as _leaned_ against him.

James shuddered at the image.

Being squished under Vernon Dursley's gargantuan rear, in his opinion, was an awful way to snuff it.

James and Lily got to their feet and pleasantries were stiffly exchanged.

"So _you're_ the Potter boy my sister has been spouting on and _on_ about?" Petunia snapped as she slipped into her chair, only just managing to keep her nose in the air.

"That's me, the, err, 'Potter boy', in the flesh," James answered, smiling as best as he could in her direction. It was a half-hearted replica of his usual vibrant grin.

She just sniffed in reply, scrutinizing him thoroughly and obviously not liking what she saw.

James swallowed hard and gave himself a mental pep talk.

The evening was only just beginning.

* * *

><p>After the food orders were given in very monosyllabic voices, Vernon began talking heartily to James, boasting about one thing or another; I really wasn't paying any attention.<p>

"So, uh, how's the wedding plans coming Tuney?" I asked tentatively.

"Oh, quite nicely. I haven't picked a dress just yet and I can't find any good caterers, they're all so lazy and their food tastes like rubber," She answered curtly, not meeting my eyes.

"I see. What an awful predicament."

She then went on to rant about how the invitations were all the wrong shade of white.

Next to me, I could see James visibly falling into a stupor from boredom, as Vernon rattled on and on about his car.

"It had a mighty price tag, but it didn't bother me, no it didn't. I have just been promoted at my new job at the Drill company. It'll be a week until I'm running the place-"

"Drills? Sounds like a medieval muggle torture device," James mumbled under his breath.

I choked on my laugh and had to make a mad grab for my glass of water to stifle it.

Vernon, luckily, was too busy gloating to notice.

He then got up from his seat, still talking to James about his car and offering to show it to him.

James looked pained, but he went along anyway, twisting his head around to give me a reassuring glance, a compassionate reminder to take deep breaths.

Petunia had suddenly fallen silent, looking down at her primly clasped hands, scowling horribly.

I opened my mouth to say a sentence that I hadn't even _formulated_ in my head yet, when she cut across me.

"You love him?"

"I-what?"

"Do you _love _tha-_him? Do you love that wizard boy?_"

I was taken for a total loop.

I blinked confusedly in her direction struggling to swallow her question.

Her words had sounded so disdainful, but there was an undercurrent of hesitant curiosity.

"I-mayb-yes. I love him. Why?" I narrowed my eyes slightly as I said the last part, watching her, intrigued- in an odd way.

This was the first time she had shown an interest in my feelings for years.

To be honest, I was preparing to defend him, readying the missiles and clutching at an invisible wand, like I was bracing myself for a tidal wave.

I was anticipating hurricane Petunia to hit hard, to tear roofs off houses and throw trees clear across the country.

But the chance to send my soldiers into battle never came.

Petunia just frowned, biting her lip and furrowing her brow, like I had suddenly become an irritating cross word in the daily paper.

I half expected to be scribbled over by a pen and ripped into pieces.

I kept my eyes trained on her, like she was an interesting new magical creature, cursing the fact that I hadn't brought a quill and a notebook to properly record her mannerisms.

Her frown became more and more horrid and disapproving as I watched, her mouth becomming a thin line in the process.

"_Why?_" she asked suddenly, sounding truly shocked, exactly like I had, when I was only fourteen, stunned by what kind of boy Petunia found attractive.

It seemed it was my turn now.

James had a crooked smile that spoke for itself.

He had a way of keeping me on my toes.

He made me feel secure while the world around me was constantly shaking and shifting violently.

He listened to me rant and rave and still said that I was right, that I still sounded intelligent.

He wasn't scared to yell across a crowded hallway that he loved me, and even though it was _thoroughly_ embarrassing the first seven times he did it, I still loved him back for it.

I could make a list that would trail onto the floor, but I decided I'd answer her with a question of my own.

"Why do you like Vernon?"

She looked taken aback at first. But I could see in her eyes that she was composing a list, just like I had.

What was _on _that list, I couldn't even begin to guess.

Was Vernon secretly endearing in any way?

She suddenly seemed to snap out of it after a minute or so.

"Why do I have to explain myself to you anyway?" she answered icily.

Our heart to heart, however brief it was, had come juddering to a permanent halt.

I shrugged, but there was the tiniest of all smiles on my face.

* * *

><p>"It's cute Willa, it honestly is!" Alice laughed.<p>

"_No!_ No it's _not!_ Other girls do stuff like that, I don't!"

Alice simply laughed again, making to look at the parchment a second time.

Willa, seeing this, flung herself forwards across her four-poster and yanked it out of her hands, falling back and clutching it to her chest.

Her face was the bright red of a tomato as she curled herself into a ball around it.

"Oh come now Willa, don't you think I haven't done the same w-with Frank?"

"I will _literally_ kick the bucket on the _spot _if Sirius _ever_ saw it properly! I would _die _Alice! I'll keel over backwards, stiff as a board!"

"Oh _now_ you're just being unreasonable."

"I would like white marble for my headstone please."

Alice fell over the edge of four-poster with the force of her giggles.

It was all too much.

The situation was just too hilarious for her.

The half finished essay, written in Willa's slack script, was occupied by a truly detailed drawing of Sirius's face in a large heart, accompanied by writing, but Alice hadn't been able to read it, thanks to Willa's inhuman reflexes when it came to Sirius.

Alice adored it.

She hadn't known Willa to be the arty type, but the inky sketch really did Black justice.

The only _really_ embarrassing part were the floral hearts around him and even those Alice found pretty.

All and all, it was a very female thing to do.

It was completely normal in the falling-in-love process.

Now, if only they would swallow that concrete pride of theirs and, _hopefully,_ not choke on it before they came clean with their feelings.

What a mission.

* * *

><p>Vernon came back to the table looking thoroughly stormy. James followed in his wake, his hands in his pockets, whistling and looking at an invisible watch.<p>

"What happened?" I whispered to him from the corner of my mouth as he settled into his chair.

"I just started talking about my broom and the bloke blew a gasket. People stared. I think he even made a baby cry."

"I see, poor baby," I answered, biting my lip to keep from letting out even the smallest of giggles.

"I know right? Poor little tyke will be scarred for life."

Our food had arrived by now; the waiters bustled around our table as they set up the cheese fondue Petunia had ordered without anyone else's opinion.

Vernon began spearing bread cubes like they had offended his mother.

The table was silent for awhile, until Vernon decided to recover from earlier and began boasting again.

I could see James getting visibly annoyed by all this car talk.

"The _hubcaps_ on your car are probably worth less than a galleon. I don't have a shortage of gold, so your shiny toy does _not_ impress me."

He muttered it just loud enough so that Vernon could hear.

It shattered the non-sociable silence.

Things happened very fast after that.

Vernon's eyes narrowed, which seemed impossible, as they were already beady to begin with and his face went the color of a beetroot.

He looked like a maroon mandrake.

It was like he was about to erupt with the force of his unreasonable rage.

He spouted a string of words, sounding like he was swearing heavily in Gobbledegook or Mermish.

He gestured wildly with his arms, knocking over the fondue.

This had disastrous repercussions.

* * *

><p>James couldn't stand the sound of this man's voice.<p>

He didn't care for his stupid, mechanical, tin _shoebox_ and he _certainly _didn't like the way he kept glancing at him, like he was some strange creature in a zoo that had to be distracted, lest it not attack.

Like he was only talking so much so that he didn't have to have an actual conversation with James.

He had an inkling that Vernon was only here because his wife had dragged him along.

James had actually been interested to learn about Lily's family, but he had been woefully unprepared for her sister and her fiancée.

He now knew why Lily had been so stressed. He should have deciphered the signs better.

_Idiot!_ He thought, hitting his forehead, feeling like a failure.

Although his patience was wearing thin, he hadn't meant to say what he did at all.

It was meant to be said in his _mind_, where no one had a hope of hearing it.

Then the fondue toppled over, cheese splattering over Petunia's extremely expensive looking dress and catching Vernon right on the face.

This just made the two of them hysterical with anger.

Only Lily seemed to notice that the gas burner had set the tablecloth alight.

The cheese covered Petunia and Vernon were yelling at the top of their voices, looking like a pair of enraged pigeons, flapping their wings and squawking like their lives depended on it.

Vernon hadn't noticed that, in his fury, his blazer sleeve was literally, well, _blazing_.

He had caught on fire and when he saw the bright yellow flames eating away at the fabric on his arm, he only yelled louder, his face puffy and a most fantastic color of plum, spraying anyone within a two metre radius with spittle.

Petunia, seeing her husband on fire, reacted by squealing like a boiling kettle.

James, thinking fast, began feeling for his wand, only to discover it wasn't in his pocket, but safely tucked away in his trunk back at Lily's house.

Swearing profusely, he instead grabbed an empty metal wine cooler and dashed around the table, throwing melted ice and corks over the screaming duo.

"Oh Merlin's saggy left buttock, sorry!" James gasped, dropping the cooler onto Vernon's head in his shock.

This seemed to shut Vernon up slightly, as he only gibbered from under the cooler, which seemed to rattle on his skull with the suppressed anger he was still harboring.

Lily meanwhile had sprinted over to a red canister hidden behind a trolley of pudding, pulling out the safety catch hastily and spraying the table and the people behind it, with puffy white foam.

Petunia was now coated from head to toe with the stuff and had attempted to let out another scream, only to choke on some that had gotten into her mouth.

Lily looked mortified, rushing around the table and accidentally dropping the heavy looking canister on Vernon's big toe.

Vernon howled like an injured elephant, clutching at his foot and hopping backwards, losing his balance and falling onto the small waiter that had seated them earlier.

James would never forget that poor boy's face as the giant's shadow enveloped him.

He also swore he heard the guy's spine snap as Vernon obscured him completely, but that could've been his imagination.

James stood there stupidly, his hands falling to his side, seeing the chaos through disbelieving eyes.

Muggles were staring and the waiters were frantic, assuring people and dashing about like the fire was everywhere, when it had just been extinguished.  
>When Petunia came out of her horrified trance, she wiped the foam from her face, looking completely repulsed, gave Lily a disgusted look and yanked Vernon up by the collar (which was an amazing feat of strength).<p>

She then stormed out of the restaurant, stopping only to shove cash under a quivering waiters nose.

Then the worst possible thing that James could ever imagine happened.

Lily burst into tears.

He had heard of broken hearts, but just then, he literally felt his crack in half.

* * *

><p>I didn't like that anxious waiter, so I had to punish him...heh.<p>

I hope you enjoyed the pandemonium. To Petunia this whole ordeal was probably equal to armageddon.

See y'all lovelies later!


	25. Chapter 25: Art isn't for Sirius

Ok, I know- I have a valid reason for not updating. I was sick and Buckbeak ate my computer cables :D.

But I just know after this chapter, I'll be completely and utterly forgiven, I'll be welcomed back with open arms and people will be giving me gold plated Harry Potter novels!

James: Dude, that's like, never going to happen. (Since when does James say "dude"?) James: since ever!

OwlEyes: A girl can _dream! _

Lily: Oh James, can't you see she just likes being dramatic?

OwlEyes: I am the drama queen of the year as of 2007! (5 years off I know! But still...)

Anyway, don't you have a chapter to read?

Go on, get!

* * *

><p>The drive home was silent, punctured only by tearful hiccups and thoughts.<p>

James had his hands clasped tight in his lap, biting his bottom lip painfully, his stormy hazel eyes darting to Lily.

She was resting her forehead against the car window, her head angled so that a curtain of scarlet waves obscured her face completely from James's view.

The only thing that told him that she was still awake, were the small snuffles and throat burning hiccups that issued from behind her hair.

He didn't have even the foggiest idea of how to comfort her- and he was right peeved with himself because of it.

What a lousy boyfriend he was turning out to be.

He couldn't even keep the tears from his girlfriend's eyes- and what was worse, was that, if she did cry, he didn't know how to stop them rolling, fat and fast, down her cheeks.

The words left him in a rush of air and all he felt was pure misery at seeing her shatter, it was the raw kind of concern that he had only felt once before in his life.

Only once.

He had watched her hands smother her face, tears flowing out from beneath them, in the middle of the stuffy restaurant.

He had seen himself, as if from a distance, just stand there, agape, not knowing what to do.

He just went numb- like he had sustained a stunner to the chest.

He stumbled over to her, immune to the gazes of the people around them, gently taking her elbow and leading her to the door.

That was all he did.

It was Lily's mother who had picked them up afterwards- and, upon seeing the ghoul couple that had replaced the living, breathing, laughing humans she had seen merely hours before, she had said nothing.

And so, the ghoul couple had climbed into the car, in somber silence- a silence filled with thoughts.

* * *

><p>The glass of the car was cool to my feverish forehead.<p>

I closed my eyes, feeling tears still crowding behind the lids, some oozing out from underneath and catching on my eyelashes.

Petunia had given me such a look of disdain, such a look of dislike that it was worse than her saying anything to my face.

It was worse than calling me a "freak".

It was worse than calling James a "freak".

It hurt, like a million pin pricks.

It burned like a fresh stinging hex.

It wasn't the pain that it brought that reduced me to tears though, it was the way she had silently said, that she just didn't, wouldn't, refused to, understand.

Her unuttered words didn't connect with the situation of course, but her eyes did all the talking, and the conversation it conveyed, was a new one.

It wasn't anger about being turned into a pile of bitter whipped cream or Vernon catching on fire, but of course, that was there, too.

It had been about everything- not getting accepted to Hogwarts, her secret dream of having magic too, of not being able turn toads into teacups, her sudden decision to just not understand, to just stick a label onto my forehead and move on.

I didn't feel upset for myself, as people would expect me to be- being hated by my own sister and all.

I felt sorry for her- to not understand magic, to not see how beautifully wild and wondrous the wizarding world could be- it was sad.

Maybe I was reading into that one glare too much, or maybe I was right.

Either way, the situation hurt, no matter how much I complicated it.

Like Professor Slughorn would say, I was adding too many ingredients to the potion.

If I added too much, if I stirred too vigorously, it would get sticky and thick.

But- he was forgetting one thing.

If a draught of despair was thick and sticky, it was much more potent.

* * *

><p>Alice was rummaging shame facedly through Willa's bombsite of a trunk, having all manor of things brush against her hand.<p>

She later would swear she felt the feathers of an owl down there.

Tongue between her lips, her eyes set with a steely determination, her fingers finally closed around a scrunched up piece of parchment.

It wasn't just _any_ piece of scrunched up parchment though, oh no, this was _the_ scrunched up piece of parchment.

She straightened up, smiling triumphantly, gently folding the ratty square of paper in her hands.

This smile was quickly replaced by a pursed line and a furrowed brow that creased her forehead drastically.

If she were an owl, her feathers would have been thoroughly ruffled- practically fluffy with agitation.

_Oh, shut up! _She snapped at the moral voices raging a war in her head. _It's for their own good- I just know it is! Besides, the two of them have been doing my head in! Their voices are still ringing in my ears from their last row!_

Her two consciences continued to clash swords, but the vigor with which they fought had dwindled down to almost nothing, their swords dropping dismally to their sides.

Willa and Sirius's last fight had been just as explosive as the last, they had erupted like volcanoes at one another, spitting magma and blackened rocks- like two dogs just waiting to nip and swipe at the others ankles.

It had been like this for half the Christmas holiday, even Dumbledore belting out "God rest ye merry Hippogriff" didn't banish their fowl moods.

After each row, Willa would stomp up the girls' dormitory stairs, throw herself onto her four-poster and bawl her eyes out for half an hour, while Sirius sat, clutching his legs to his chest, looking surly and unresponsive in front of the common room fire.

Alice could have hit him with a Levicorpus spell and all he would do was spit flames in her direction, growling like a dog, all sharp teeth and crimson gums, before settling back into his gruff expression.

His rigid jaw hid his guilt as well as a fake invisibility cloak (which had begun to crop up on the Hogwarts black market these last few weeks) or Peter behind a couch cushion.

A _teeny tiny_ couch cushion.

Willa would always deny the fact that she had shed more than one tear after a row with Sirius.

Her pride would swell and she would fold her arms, holding her head as high as she could, cricking her neck in the process and declare: "Me? Weep? Honestly Alice, you have such an imagination. _Willa Tonks_, _cry?_ The thought is _ridiculous._ I traded my tears as soon as I could walk for a _sherbet lemon._"

Alice had _finally _cracked today, like the plates Peeves threw at the stone walls near the kitchens, to annoy the house elves who had spent hours cleaning them.

However, she was not alone in her plight.

The same strain was evident on both Remus and Peter's faces.

Remus seemed to practically grind his teeth when he spoke to Sirius- like he was fast losing his patience. He would have to stop and take a small breath before continuing, trying to drill some sense into his wild wand spark of a friend.

_So Sirius is driving them bonkers too, huh? _She had thought, noticing the irritated twitch Remus had developed over the course of three days and how Peter cowered whenever Sirius was within spitting distance, looking apprehensive and guiltily annoyed.

Drastic measures had to be undertaken.

There was _absolutely_ no other alternative.

Alice knew Willa didn't have the guts to toss it; after all, she was grudgingly fond of her doodle.

Maybe it would have felt like chucking her feelings in the bin to her?

Alice could only guess _why_ Willa had chosen to stash it, like some guilt ridden piece of evidence- which would ultimately stick her in front of the Wizengamot and be the _one_ thing, which would doom her to a cell in Azkaban.

Knowing Willa, she would probably start playing cards with the Dementors and accuse all of them of cheating- when she was the one who had half the deck up her sleeve.

Alice knew this because she had participated in one too many games of exploding snap with the girl.

Willa just didn't have the capacity for guilt of any kind- or so she let on.

_She's pretty smart, stashing it someplace booby trapped_, Alice thought darkly, glancing back at the offending trunk.

Willa had changed the hiding place according to how observant Alice was, so locating it had been more difficult than her first study session with Frank.

Now _that _had left them both perfectly flustered and no homework had gotten done at all.

But now that the drawing was within her grasp she could carry out her _dastardly_ plans unobstructed.

_Muahaha_, she thought.

Then; I_ kind of like playing cupid, I wonder how much it pays? _

* * *

><p>"What've you got there Sirius?"<p>

"Something I'm not showing _anyone_, even if I _snuff _it… want to have a look then?"

"Honestly Sirius, I do not _get _you."

"I am a devilishly handsome _enigma_ my dear Moony. I am not to be solved," he answered, winking cheekily in Remus's direction and sporting an arrogant grin that displayed his canine teeth perfectly.

"Those are some dictionary worthy words there Sirius. Don't tell me you've taken to eating books instead of James's footwear now? Or am I hoping for too much?"

"_Ouch,_ Moony, that was painful, why do you have to kick my ego when it's down mate? It's bloody black and blue already."

Remus shrugged, looking coolly unaffected by Sirius's tone.

He was heavily disapproving of how he was acting after all. Sirius was being perfectly _childish_ and Remus had taken special liberties to tell him so.

Something Lily had said to him in passing had been nibbling and gnawing away at his conscience.

It was what put him into action, what made him think harder about imposing his opinion.

_Do something Lupin; you're a prefect too, aren't you!_

"_I_ don't know, maybe so you don't use such corny pick-up lines on anyone else?" Remus said, letting the sentence slip between his teeth while he lamented her words.

"Just keep abusing your dear, _poor_ mate with words Moony; just keep on kicking a bloke when he's dead depressed. If I decide to throw my handsome self into the lake, it'll be on your head!"

"I doubt you'd do that Sirius."

Sirius barely paused before answering.

"Yeah, you're right; it would be too much of a loss for the female population. I just _couldn't _bring myself do something like that. I'm thinking of the ladies, not myself."

Remus had been trying to make Sirius show the tiniest shred of guilt since the whole Silver short-snout episode, and here, after wearing away at his rock solid ego for two days straight, were results.

Pathetic results, but Remus would take them nonetheless.

Sirius went back to the scrap of parchment in his hands, feeling less belated about it than before.

In fact, he felt deflated, like the tire on the second hand motorcycle he had gotten that summer.

He and Remus had settled in a secluded corner of the library, far from Madam Pince's razor sharp eagle eyes and hissed threats.

Since it was the last day of the week long Christmas break, only fifth and seventh years were lurking around bookshelves and hurriedly scribbling away at unfinished homework, their quills flashing through the air.

Sirius had begun digging around in his bag, his tongue between his lips, his eyes narrowed.

When he drew back he had procured a fresh, somewhat bedraggled, piece of parchment.

Remus opened his mouth to inquire casually, only to have his innocent question turn into a protest when Sirius, too lazy to delve back into his bag, plucked his quill from his fingers.

"Oi!" Remus spluttered. "That's my favorite quill…" he trailed off, his eyes falling onto the ruined scrap of parchment Sirius had begun smoothing out reverently.

The sketch looked like a photograph, only it wasn't winking or pulling faces- like all the existing photos of Sirius usually did.

Remus let out a low whistle, thinking better of reaching across and taking it so he could get a better look.

Something about the way Sirius had eased down the curled edges of it had put him off- he seemed protective of it, in a way.

Remus could almost see the dog like curiosity in his gray eyes, like he was mentally tipping his head to the side, his dark floppy ears perking up as he darted out a paw, touching the dry ink gingerly.

Sirius stole glances at it occasionally, eyeing it like an intrigued puppy, as he drew his own picture.

At first, Remus thought he was trying to copy it, but he soon found he was wrong.

After a couple of minutes Sirius sat back, beaming victoriously.

"There! All done, have a look Remus, am I an artist or what?"

Remus leaned across, perplexed.

One look at Sirius's masterpiece had him in stitches.

"Or _what_ more like!" he gasped, clutching at his side, his shoulders shaking with hysterical laughter.

Sirius looked affronted, holding the drawing to his chest.

"Well _that's_ not very nice of you Moony! I'm offended mate!"

Remus choked on his own hysterics, rubbing away tears of laughter and attempting to compose himself.

"Well, what's, that, err, _thing_ supposed to be?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly with amusement.

"Willa…" Sirius mumbled to his shoes so that Remus had to strain his ears to catch what he said.

Remus nearly lost it again then, half from what he was calling "irony" and half because he found this very _very_ funny.

Remus contemplated how to break his critism to Sirius kindly before answering.

"It looks like a troll in drag wearing an awful amount of make-up. Like the trolls doing ballet on that tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy on the seventh floor," he said with a wise nod, squinting at the drawing. "Is that a _skunk_ on its head? A _dead_ skunk?"

"No! That's her _hair_," Sirius cried loudly, giving his drawing a look of deepest disappointment.

It was then that Remus realized that he had maybe been a bit _too_ brutal.

"Look, it's not _too_ horrible Sirius, I mean, if you squint at it, it doesn't look half bad," Remus said, trying to heal the gaping hole in Sirius's confidence.

Sirius simply groaned and let his head drop onto the table with a bang, resting on top of the unfortunate drawing and smearing ink onto his forehead.

Remus sighed and patted his shoulder.

"Maybe art just isn't for you?"

Sirius wailed again, louder this time.

* * *

><p>James couldn't get to sleep.<p>

He was stretched out on the hard, unyielding camp bed, listening to the rain outside the house pounding against the windows, as if demanding to be let in, ready to soak both him and Lily.

The sound was hard and cold, like the miniscule drops were made out of steel not smooth clear rainwater.

Lily had crawled into bed as if exhausted, curling herself around a pillow and burying herself under her duvet, as if barricading herself in from the world in general.

James hadn't taken his eyes off the peach colored ceiling, knowing that if he didn't look there, his worried gaze would drift over and lock onto Lily's dark form, close enough for him to reach up and touch, if he stretched.

He could hear her still stifling dry sobs, and with each breathless sigh, sniff and shuddery breath, James felt himself slipping further and further into his own personal gloom.

The rain seemed louder in his ears. It cast watery shadows across the quiet room, rippling like water over the walls.

"James?" Lily whispered hoarsely through the dim light.

She had turned onto her back and was also staring up at the ceiling, a single tear running down her pale cheek and into her hair.

"Yeah, Lily?" he answered, his voice aching with concern.

"I think I need a hug."

"Is that an order m'lady?"

Lily gave a small, broken bell chime of a laugh.

"Comfort me, please…"

She had barely finished the sentence before James had heaved himself up onto her bed, slipping his arms around her and pulling her close.

Suddenly, the rain seemed to become a calm, pattering sound, like the paws of a dog against a wooden floor- relaxing and hypnotic.

James supposed that he had simply been waiting for permission, waiting for her to poke her head outside of her sadness and invite him in.

She needn't have asked.

* * *

><p>I breathed in his smell of treacle, soap and wand smoke, curling myself into his chest, finding his warmth so much more comforting than my pillow had been.<p>

He settled against the wall, cocooning us in my duvet and burying his face in my hair, his hot breath brushing against the back of my neck.

He held me protectively, his arms strong but gentle, like he was holding an egg instead of a person.

"I'm sorry," He murmured quietly, pulling back and resting his forehead against mine, his hazel eyes smoldering and sincere.

"For what?" I whispered sleepily in answer, settling against him and leaning my head onto his shoulder, listening to his steady heartbeat.

I felt him rest his chin on top of my head, watching the droplets of rain running down the glass of the window.

"I reckon I must've ruined everything tonight-"

"You did your best; you tried so hard for my sake. Don't you _dare_ blame yourself or so _help_ me James Potter, I'll hex your nose off."

"But I like my nose!" James chuckled, a warm throaty sound that created giant butterflies in the pit of my stomach and made my heart float instead of sink.

"So violent, but I guess that's why I love you. Don't stop giving me bruises; otherwise I'll start to worry."

He smiled and pressed his lips to my forehead, tucking a messy strand of hair behind my ear with a free hand.

I felt my face burn, but there was a smile on my lips too. I reached up and pulled his ear.

"Alright then, but you _asked _for it," I answered with a small laugh.

"_Ow!_ Geeze, Lily, I'm trying to be romantic here, don't ruin the mood," he said in mock indignation.

I laughed tiredly, feeling safe and warm, protected against the elements.

We continued to talk to each other sleepily after that.

I could feel my eyes drooping and my voice trailing off.

I suddenly felt like I didn't need to cry- not ever again.

* * *

><p>There! Next chapters a biggie people so look foreward to it! My apologies for my lateness (I'm AWFUL, I know it!) but I hope I'm forgiven!<p>

See you!


	26. Chapter 26: laugh yourself stupid

THE WAIT IS OVER!

Here it is! Finally! *dabs at eyes with tissue* I find this chapter to be highly sentimental- it's incredibly long though, some bonuses snuck in here and there.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>James was trying and failing not to laugh.<p>

It was bubbling up inside him like hot water in a screeching kettle threatening to overflow.

Sirius looked defensive from his sloth like perch on his four poster, just across from James.

James would have been hurt, if he wasn't so amused.

Remus was lingering near them, not standing but not sitting either- leaning instead, against Sirius's bed post, analyzing the situation carefully.

James couldn't take it anymore, a snort escaped him.

That was all it took.

Both Remus and James took that snort as a green light and began laughing heartily.

"H-honestly Sirius, you couldn't draw to save your ruddy _life!_" James choked, straightening up and beaming at Sirius, to show that the tease was playful and had come in peace.

Sirius's drawing was held in James's slack grasp, signed with a deft signature, the kind that nobody could ever decipher.

"I already told him that drawing wasn't for him," Remus said, clapping Sirius consolingly on the shoulder and giving him a rare smirk.

Sirius just grunted, looking down at his shoes, but his annoyance and gruffness was badly faked.

James squinted at the doodle again, adjusting his glasses and staring hard.

"Is that a skunk on her head? A _dead_ skunk?"

Sirius made an odd sound, like a dog being stepped on or a bagpipe with a hole in it.

Remus just chuckled, and shook his head.

James, ignoring the two's odd behavior, didn't wait for an answer and just mumbled under his breath "It's definitely a dead skunk" before adding aloud.

"Where's Peter? He hasn't been creeping around the girls' dorms again while I've been off meeting my girlfriend's parents, has he?"

Remus, who had been busy patting an uncharacteristically hysterical Sirius's shoulder (who was muttering under his breath; "It's her bloody hair!") was the first to answer him.

"He's hiding, I think."

James gave him a bemused look.

"Hiding?"

"Yes, from Willa. He drew on her face when she was asleep- a mustache no less."

James grimaced, feeling ocean deep sympathy for the poor, watery eyed boy.

He ran through all the things that could have happened to his friend- it was like an awful movie that you just couldn't stop watching, that, or road kill- you didn't _want_ to look, but you did all the same.

Would they even be able to recognize his body after she was done with him?

"Peter Pettigrew will live on forever in our memories," James said, putting on his best mournful voice and struggling to keep his face straight.

Remus, who was more adept at acting solemn, nodded slowly.

"How're we going to break it to his mother?"

"There'll be no consoling the poor woman."

"Unless, maybe Willa went easy on him?" Sirius offered up hopefully. "You know, only broke two of his limbs and let him crawl off?"

The three scrutinized each other fiercely, chewing over this possibility.

"Nah," they all said simultaneously, nodding wisely.

Then; "Jinx! You owe me a butter beer!" Sirius cried, back to his usual, hyperactive self, arrogance intact after all- the drawing forgotten... or so it seemed.

* * *

><p>The beginnings of spring coaxed the sun back out from behind the clouds, but, even though it was back in the sky, it couldn't make up its mind.<p>

Some days it shone and baked the forbidden forest, others the clouds over took the light and drizzled dismally.

My eighteenth birthday had passed by now- with lots of jokes from Sirius about James dating an "older woman" as his birthday's a month after mine- it's also already been.

Sirius got soaked in butterbeer for that comment, which made him think twice the next time he opened his mouth- the stickiness would remind him to monitor his tongue that's for sure.

I gave James a pair of Quidditch gloves, trying to _not_ turn the color of my hair for his birthday.

We've been through so much together already and I'm still a flustered idiot around him.

Usually, sentimental moments between us, in front of others that is, end with me stepping on his foot or stealing his glasses.

The first week after the whole Petunia episode (James calls it "The Ordeal") he was constant in his reassurances, his grins were exclusively for me and his jokes were told for my sake.

I got the feeling, that if I didn't laugh, no matter if everyone else was in stitches, he wouldn't feel satisfied with himself, like the joke would be meaningless.

I recovered rapidly, because he was cute when he was trying hard.

It was the middle of May now and the air was caked with nerves.

Exam month was approaching.

By now it was excruciatingly boring for us seventh years, not even the sight of some fifth years breathing into paper bags and revising until their eyes couldn't stay still, even when they weren't reading, didn't make the experience any more amusing.

Well, it still entertained Sirius and James, and, even though I knew the latter was trying _extremely _hard to pull his smirk into a neutral face and to swallow his laughter, it didn't lessen my feelings towards him.

Sometimes, I just lay back at night, listening to the soft, smooth breathing of my dorm mates sleeping soundly, their minds blank as newly cleaned chalk boards, letting my head soak in thoughts, letting it simmer until it was well over cooked.

I let my mind grab me by the wrist and run off with me, like that day with James on his broom.

My imagination would fly off into the distance, dipping, twisting and swirling wildly in all directions, through damp clouds and into the blinding light of the sun.

Fantasies of James, of houses, dirty dishes and warm crackling fires.

Of days spent with my head on his shoulder, playing word games just so I could hear his voice rumble in his throat, because we'd run out of things to talk about.

Thoughts of how beautifully mad this all was-us and these odd fuzzy longings that would chase me all day, just as persistently as the memories.

I wondered briefly if this was how it was for Alice or even Willa.

Then there was the nostalgia; it was like a dedicated stalker- but unlike an _actual_ stalker, it was welcomed.

Exam month, June- the oncoming dry summer, would ultimately mark the end of schooling- the end of not-knowing.

Somehow I didn't _want_ to know.

Not anymore.

I just wanted to curl up with James, with everyone else chattering away, their voices bubbling away and joking in the background, with the common room fire flickering familiarly at us- and just focus on him.

And Alice, Willa, Remus and Wormy.

On homework and what I was going to have for breakfast.

On evening watch with Filch.

On telling Sirius off for locking Severus in the girls' bathroom with Moaning Myrtle.

I wanted to suspend myself in the here and now, stop time with James's arm draped over my shoulder casually; trying not to laugh as I levitated his glasses off his nose with my wand.

But, although I felt like clinging onto the desk chairs in my transfiguration classroom and never letting go, even if people tried to _forcefully _remove me, there was a part of me that wanted to brush a hand over them fondly before turning briskly and walking out.

Down past doors that are only door knobs stuck to walls, past freakishly tiny first years, past the great hall and house point hour glasses and out the front doors.

I won't look back as I stride purposely down to Hogsmeade, because this part of me, this sliver of reason, wants to tear the curtains off the Daily Prophet articles, to expose the nuggets of truth embedded in their words.

A part of me is willing to leave.

I'm not yet _emotionally_ ready to say good bye just yet though, not to my first year self and not to ignorance- but I can't stay eleven forever.

No matter how much I wish I could, even if I squeeze my eyes shut and cross both my fingers until my knuckles turn white, my half-hearted longings will just be whipped away by the wind, like a dandelion weed.

After all, I can't stay eleven forever.

* * *

><p>*JUNE 2nd, <strong>1978<strong>*

Professor McGonagall would always get sentimental when it came to these meetings.

Where it meant the beginning of freedom and independence for her students, it just meant another incoming spate of goodbyes for her.

They were all crowded into the common room now, sitting casually before her, on the floor and arms of the sofas and armchairs, chatting and laughing easily.

Their demeanors were breezy and free.

It was almost impossible for Professor McGonagall to imagine them as the white faced first years they had once been, squished into the small side room, their innocent eyes wide and anxious.

There was Sirius Black, trying to act indifferent and suave as he talked hesitantly to Willa Tonks, who, much to Professor McGonagall's surprise, also looked earnest and tentative, as she clutched a scrap of worn parchment he had just slipped her.

Remus Lupin was next to them, looking highly amused, like he was trying not to smirk with knowing.

It was a glad change from the shy, mousy haired boy with patched and frayed clothing that Minerva had seen sorted into her house years before.

Sirius had grown up, even if he was still reckless to the point of idiocy, there was a maturity in there somewhere, next to his wild instincts- Minerva was sure.

Next to them, wedged in between Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewett, was James Potter and Lily Evans, their knees touching and their eyes bright, focused completely on one another.

They might as well have been alone and not in a room filled with their peers.

They were talking like they would never run out of things to say, the air around them warm and calming- content where it used to be strained.

Professor McGonagall almost lost it there, but, steeling herself and snapping inwardly at her emotions to keep a stiff upper lip, she addressed the chattering seventh years.

"We are nearing the end of your final year at Hogwarts-"

Cheers and applause interrupted her here.

She eyed them sternly and it died down rapidly, but the smiles on her students faces were fixed permanently in place.

Clearing her throat she continued.

"I hope, and all your teachers hope, that your years at Hogwarts have treated you well- I expect to see great things from _all _of you. Yes, you too Peter-" she added, singling the nervous looking youth out, who had squeaked at her last comment.

A wave of harmonious chuckling seeped through the crowd as Sirius Black clapped him on the shoulder with a devilish grin.

"I expect to see you on the morning of the fourteenth to take your graduation photo. There will be a short morning tea and some words from the Headmaster, he wishes to bid you all a proper farewell-" she took a deep breath here; her voice had begun to quiver during the last bit, before continuing.

"Dress appropriately for the photo, full school uniform will be required- nothing less. I expect Gryffindor to be the _best_ at conducting themselves," She shuddered to a halt, peering around at her attentive audience.

She would miss these faces, but they weren't the only group of students she would have to see leave.

There were new groups each year after all.

But, still, a special place was reserved in her for these fresh faced young people.

Blinking back dry tears, she nodded curtly.

"I believe you have time to study before your first N.E.W.T examination. Please make use of the free time."

And with that they were dismissed.

This was probably one of the last times she would say such words to these eighteen year olds.

The next words would hopefully be;

"It's so nice to see you again."

* * *

><p>*JUNE 13th, <strong>1978<strong>*

Sirius sniggered.

"Oh, I can't wait until tomorrow, I swear, I'm going to laugh myself stupid."

James smirked in response, feeling the thrill of the prank mixed in with his adrenaline.

"I still don't approve of this," Remus remarked dryly from behind him.

All four marauders were hunched under the now curiously small invisibility cloak, shuffling slowly back to the Gryffindor common room, slightly _less_ cautiously than usual.

"You've never approved Moony," James whispered, a laugh burbling under the surface of his answer.

Remus frowned, but his eyes didn't follow through.

"I still say we should have included the girls in this too-" Sirius started, only to be have the sentence sliced roughly in half by Remus.

"No! No blooming _way!_ Drag your mind out of the gutter, why don't you Sirius?"

"My mind isn't in the_ gutter_; I just want to enjoy my second to last day at Hogwarts!"

"It's in the gutter Padfoot," Peter agreed, who felt safer saying such things when he had Remus in front of him- he was a human shield.

Sirius opened his mouth to argue- loudly if you went by the look on his face- but James _shhh_ed him by stepping heavily on his foot and stalling.

"Shut up- I hear foot steps- Wormtail you were supposed to be checking the map!"

Peter's eyes widened and he gave a silent "eep" before scrambling for the ratty piece of parchment.

"Filch!" he mouthed, wrenching it open hurriedly, looking mortified.

They stood stock still as heavy footfalls drew nearer.

Mrs. Norris slunk around the corner, her eyes glowing through the dim light like tiny lanterns, probing the darkness like a lighthouse by the beach- always observant and unwavering in its duty.

Her lamp bright eyes fell on the four statuesqe boys and didn't flinch away, not even for a second.

James felt an incurable urge to step on her tail or something- he was leaving, he could do what he wanted surely?

She gave a loud screechy mew as Filch, puffy eyed, his jowls quivering as usual, rounded the corner, looking hungry for justice- his _warped_ sense of justice that is.

"Are students out of bed, at _this_ hour_?_ On the second to last day- ohhh this is good, my dear, very goo- is that a foot?" he was talking very fast and his eyes seemed to bulge even more as they focused on where the marauders stood, believing they were invisible.

Peter gave a wheezy gasp- but it was too late.

Without realizing it, he had let the cloak at slip off him, until it was hard _not _to miss him.

James, Remus and Sirius gave him a look of pure horror, the movement of their heads twisting around in his direction only making the situation worse- the silky fabric of the clock slipped.

Peter was now fully visible, clutching the Marauders map in his pudgy hands and looking sweatier and seedier than ever.

"Aha! Out of bed are you? Sneaking around are you?" Filch cried triumphantly, grabbing Peter by the scruff of his neck. "What's this then? _Contraband?_" he continued, spotting the Marauders map and running a slimy tongue over his dry lips.

With simultaneous pained looks all round, the three watched as the caretaker confiscated their precious map with a cold, sour swipe of the hand.

As Filch continued to bear down ominously on Peter, even after the map was in his grubby fingers, looking like something a Boggart with a sense of humor would produce, Remus had a brain wave.

He slid his wand out of his pocket sneakily and, angling it with nimble fingers, aimed it at a distant set of armor.

There was a loud, resounding bang that had Filch screeching "PEEVES!" at the top of his lungs in a couple of seconds flat.

Immediately, he dropped Peter with an uncaring thud and scuttled off, muttering darkly about "_finally_ having things _his_ way".

Peter looked dazed for a few seconds before being grabbed roughly by the elbow and forced back under the cloak.

Remus and James stared after Filch with a sort of childish indignation.

"Our map…" Remus remarked dully, shoving his wand back into his trouser pocket numbly.

Sirius put a heavy hand on his shoulder.

"It's for the best mate."

"Yeah, we're leaving it for future generations of out-laws," James said, recovering with a warm sense of pride.

And so, they continued on their way, not hollow at the loss of their hard work, but proud, strong senses of accomplishment keeping their good moods alight.

* * *

><p>*JUNE 14th, <strong>1978<strong>*

"Hold still will you? Honestly Lily, don't you want to look_ nice?_" Willa muttered reprovingly as she braided long locks of my hair, tugging slightly.

I could tell by the shudder of her voice and the clumsy way her fingers plaited that she was emotional.

Everyone was today, even I felt a little tearful.

"Alright, alright mum, I'll stay stock still," I replied with a wide smile.

She swatted at me playfully, shoving my pointed black hat onto my head, affectively ruining her hard work.

"Right, you two ready? We have to be early otherwise they'll forget us!" Alice chimed, hurrying into the room and quickly slipping her feet into a pair of crimson flats and tying her hair up at lightening speed.

She was halfway across the dorm, Willa and I at her heels, before she realized she was still wearing her pajama pants.

We doubled back, throwing amused smirks at one another.

* * *

><p>Everyone gathered out in front of steps, milling about and darting over to speak to friends from other houses.<p>

There was laughter, jokes and tears- mixed in with the sound of the giant squid disturbing the water as it peered curiously at us and grasshoppers buzzing- it was the soundtrack of my graduation.

I scanned the crowds and saw that every house was present except Slytherin.

Don't get me wrong, all the girls in their uniform venomous green and silver ties were clumped together- but there weren't any males from the house to be seen.

"'Ello love," came a familiar voice from behind me, an arm snaking around my waist.

I laughed- it came out fresh, just like how I was feeling, before suspicion hit.

"James Potter- do you have anything to do with-"

"I admit nothing, but I suggest you watch closely Tiger Lily."

I eyed him beadily, pursing my lips in a slight frown.

He just grinned secretively, glancing expectantly at his watch.

An explosion of voices rang out suddenly from the entrance hall; making students near it jump with surprise and wheel around.

"What do you mean there're no spare robes!"

"We can't have photos taken like _this_! Are you _mad?_"

"Yes, yes I know this isn't ideal at all-"

Professor McGonagall appeared, backing out of the doors, looking flustered.

She was followed by a large group of boxer clad Slytherin boys.

"Nice underwear boys," called Sirius from where he was standing with Remus, looking like he was going to erupt with laughter.

Remus gave him a look, which positively oozed disapproval, but even he was having trouble containing himself.

Laughter rang from all sides, punctured by wolf whistles and cat calls- surprisingly mostly from the Slytherin girls, who seemed to find this turn of events amusing rather than offensive.

Probably because they weren't victims themselves.

The smart ones had put on pajama pants and night gowns, but they seemed to be resisting the urge to itch themselves- while others scratched without care about who was watching.

I tried very hard.

I really did.

"You know this isn't funny," I said, my voice burbling with suppressed amusement, twisting my head around to look at James.

His expression was sheepish, his smile guilt ridden.

"I know, but we had to step over the line- just once. I mean come on, we're leaving- the line was asking to be crossed!"

I couldn't take it anymore- I dodged behind him, letting myself laugh for a few seconds before I forced composure back into my voice.

James couldn't hide the grin on his face- it stretched from ear to ear and was as inconspicuous as the giant squid in a wedding dress.

I gave him a suffering look and pretended to act huffy.

"What? It's funny; even I have a sense of humor!"

James just shook his head, with a look that read; what am I going to do with you?

"No, I was just thinking that _maybe_ we've influenced you a bit too much."

I scoffed and sent him a sly smile.

"Is that suddenly a bad thing?"

* * *

><p>"Alrigh', alrigh', scooch in there a bit pink headband! Not you, I meant <em>er'!<em> Igit, you're a bloke! Righ', say 'cornish pixies' everyone!"

"Cornish pixies," we all chorused obediently, giggling immaturely to ourselves at the photographer's choice of words.

The old fashioned, boxy camera flashed, sending a cloud of vivid purple smoke up into the crisp air.

The photographer swore loudly, his face going such a brilliant color of beetroot, that even Tuney's fiancée would have been proud.

"You three, in the back! Stop ruinin' the shot! It's supposed to be a clean, nice photo yeah? A photo yer mumsie would wan' to hang on the wall!" he shrieked, pulling at his already thinning hair.

James and Sirius sniggered and, as if in unison, Remus and I rolled our eyes- but even I couldn't find the resolve to scold them.

Everytime the photographer was getting ready to take the picture, James and Sirius would pull a face and stick their hands behind people's heads, making their fingers into peace signs.

They did it for five attempted photographs straight, until the poor man behind the camera looked like steam was about to pour out of his ears.

"Fine! Do what you like! Ugly faces everyone! I wan' this bloody over with!"

The whole class looked at each other in bemusement, before shrugging and contorting their faces.

I couldn't help but laugh and follow suit, sticking out my tongue and crossing my eyes.

"Cornish pixies!" everyone chimed, their voices lively and festive.

A sixth plume of violet smoke drifted into the air with a sharp pop, chased closely by a blinding flash.

"Now get, the lot of you, before I 'ave a meltdown! You'll get your photos tommorra!"

The class dispersed, laughing and smacking each other on the back as the Slytherins assembled themselves in front of the steps into the castle- most of them were wearing nightgowns they had borrowed from the girls.

They all looked like they had a fowl taste on their tongues, their brows dark and their eyes bitter- excluding the girls that is.

I could hear the faint, aggravated cry of the photographer, snapping at the males as I fell into step beside James.

"Stop lookin' so sheepish! What's with yer attitudes, smile for heaven's sake! Just because yer in yer boxers don't mean you gotta be a lot of sour pusses!"

We headed down to where the Hufflepuffs were chattering comfortably.

They were lingering about under the shade of some trees nearest the lake, throwing toast to the giant squid and strolling down memory lane.

The Professors stood nearby, looking solemn and straight faced as they conversed.

"Hello Professor Mcgonagall," James called, making a beeline her way, taking hold of my hand and steering me after him.

As we got closer we could see that Professor Sprout had been patting her back consolingly and that her eyes were rather red behind her spectacles- or was that a trick of the light?

"Yes, hello Mr. Potter, Miss. Evans- I see Gryffindor was exemplary during the photo."

We sent each other shamefaced grins before turning back to our Professor.

"As, err, headboy and girl, we just want to thank you," James began clumsily before I stepped in.

"It's been a great seven years- thank you Professor."

Mcgonagall looked like she was about to burst into tears- seemingly for the second time today.

"Are you _crying_ Professor?" James blurted. I dug him in the ribs roughly with my elbow, arching a disapproving eyebrow up at him.

"Ow- Lily that hurt!" he laughed before Professor Mcgonagall could respond.

"O-of course not Potter! Don't be ridiculous, I just have awful allergies- haven't I told you? Now off you go- the Slytherins are almost finished."

James shot her his signature, compelling smile and fished a hanky out of his robe pocket, holding it out expectantly and averting his eyes.

McGonagall gave it a long, hard stare, before whipping it out of his open palm. She then twisted around on her heel and hurried off, blowing her nose loudly into it, sounding uncannily like a trumpet as she went.

Professor Sprout gave us a grateful smile and a pat on the shoulder each before following suit.

"That was incredibly gentlemanly of you Potter," I murmured, leaning against him.

"Hey, I'm no longer the barbarian I once was Evans," he answered quietly, pulling me close and lacing his fingers through mine again, slowly and deliberately.

"I suppose not," I agreed, letting my eyes fall shut contentedly, feeling the chilly shade of the tree overhead splay across my face and shoulders.

* * *

><p>"Black!" Willa called, dodging around the trickle of students heading towards the trees after the photo.<p>

She flitted past snickers about the Slytherin boys and wistful eyes as groups of two discussed past events.

She flung out a hand and touched Sirius's broad shoulder to catch his attention.

As soon as he turned around, Willa took a long, deep breath, sucking in a huge amount of air before grabbing his tie and wrenching him forward.

There was no space for apprehension in her mind at that point in time, instead she focused on how much she'd wanted to do it- to say it, to get it through his thick skull.

She would, even if she had to drill a hole in it and scream into his ear with a bull horn.

Shrill wolf whistles, catcalls and immature applause burst from those closest and Remus, beaming at the thought of the bet he had on with James, swiftly covered Peter's eyes.

Willa finished kissing Sirius reluctantly, a wily, Cheshire cat smile quirking the corners of her lips upwards.

"I love you Sirius Black," she announced, dropping his tie and planting her hands on her hips, a kind of poise only a girl with an _insane_ amount of confidence could possess.

It singled her out like a spotlight, making her easy to pick out of the crowd.

Needless to say, it was much more affective than a sore thumb.

Sirius's eyes were huge in his head and he had to give himself a very hard mental shake to force himself out of his reverie.

"What-did you just-I-what the-_huh?_" the words didn't link up at all and Sirius just settled with goggling at her foolishly.

Willa let out a long breathless sigh, stretching out like a cat on a sun warmed rug, her face the picture of relaxation- she seemed oblivious to her eager audience.

"Ahhh you have no idea how good it feels to get that off my chest! Well, see you Sirius!" she exclaimed chirpily, throwing Sirius one last glance, her eyes aglow with relief, before bounding off to where Alice stood, agape.

Sirius stared after her, stunned into an awed silence.

Remus was at his shoulder in the blink of an eye, followed by a befuddled Peter.

He choked back a laugh and a well deserved "I told you so!" and instead remained quiet until Sirius managed to kick a sentence out of his constricted throat.

"You're _loving_ this aren't you?"

Remus lightened up then and let out a gravelly chuckle.

"Yep, I'm very amused- who told you to stop gaping like a fish anyway?"

"Yes, very funny Moony, ha ha, look, see? I'm laughing. But more importantly- was that a hallucination? Brought on by being mad? Because if so, I like being insane."

Remus felt his eyes roll, driven by instinct alone- if Sirius said something stupid, it was Remus's eyes gut-reaction to rotate a full disapproving circle.

"If that was a hallucination, then we're _all_ barking."

Sirius stared at the explosion of caramel hair in the distance and went eerily silent again.

"It was a pretty vivid day-dream."

Remus smacked his forehead in exasperation, counting to ten.

Even Peter looked visibly irked by Sirius's three centimeter thick skull.

* * *

><p>TO BE CONTINUED!<p>

They're not exactly done graduating yet- they still have to go out with a bang, remember? This was only phase one!

Anyhoo, thank you for all the AWE INSPIRINGLY AWESOME reviews, favorites and all those other gloriously spontaneous gestures- who doesn't like surprises? :D

Later alligators!


	27. Chapter 27: Going out with a bang

*JUNE 15th **1978***

There was a loud, eardrum shattering bang, followed by a hiss of sparks- words appeared above the astronomy tower, just visible through the pine trees.

**THE MARAUDERS**

**HAVE LEFT THE BUILDING!**

The invisible horses continued to trundle along steadily- but the sound had done it's job. It alerted all the students to the message in the air.

It was met with cheers, whistles, tears and laughter.

They had been waiting for just _one more _sign from the notorious Marauders.

Their catcalls and whistles sent birds shooting into the air from the trees rimming the dirt path- the road to Hogsmeade station.

The seventh years took this message as a goodbye- from them to Hogwarts.

James saw Lily through the chaos of cheering students, two carriages ahead of him, obscured by a few other seventh years.

Her smile made his insides go all gooey- so far, Lily was the only person James had ever encountered in his whole life that could do that to him.

He had been dating the girl for a year- you'd think the gooey-ness would have dulled or subsided, but it just got warmer and more sugary the longer he was with her.

_Sugary_, James grimaced at the girly word, as Sirius clapped him on the back, accepting waves of praise from surrounding students.

Lily made Mr. Potter into Mr. Mushy.

"I think that was a satisfactory bang," Remus remarked, with a proud nod.

"Yup," Sirius replied, popping the p, "I reckon that it's a good thing James didn't add the 'I heart Evans' message though- it would've been overkill."

"That it would have been Sirius. Well, at least you can't say we don't have style," Remus replied, ignoring the way James was trying to get around him, swiping at Sirius, his neck tomato red.

"Outta the way Moony- Padfoot deserves a cuff about the head!" James said, gritting his teeth.

Sirius laughed, throwing his head back jauntily- like an arrogant villain.

"Just try it Prongsie! We all know you wanted to add that to it- as if Evans doesn't know you love her."

James paused, becoming business like and plopping back into his seat with a thoughtful expression- really laying it on thick, as usual.

"Right- I accept defeat. But hear this Padfoot- at least _I'm _romantic- I'm as smooth one of the giant squid's tentacles- the top part of course, not the suction cup part."

"I was half expecting you and Lily to be snogging during the class photo- the way you two were eying each other. Now _that's_ what I call romantic," chuckled Sirius with a bark like undertone.

James went back to having skin the color of a stunning spell and Sirius returned to dodging him, rocking the carriage so much that Peter almost fell out.

Luckily, Remus has very good reflexes.

He sat there, completely composed and content, holding Peter's collar in a vice like grip.

He knew that James and Sirius weren't actually mad at each other- just nervous and excited for what was to come. They were easy to read, when they were together.

Later on, he would remember these moments with fuzzy fondness.

* * *

><p>I tried to spot James, but there were too many carriages separating us. Giving up, I turned away from the words in the sky and, trying to keep myself upright, as Alice and Willa had stood up to see them better, I pulled out our year's group photo.<p>

I grinned at it, before flipping it over.

_**Remember? Tiger Lily, the first time I asked you out? You left me hanging there upside down- good times right? I don't miss the old days though- because I've got you now.**_

_**I'll keep telling you I love you, so you'll never forget. **_

_**-James.**_

_**P.S A Potter man is always true to his word! **_

I traced his writing slowly, the smile on my face almost painful because it was suddenly so big.

Once the graduation photos had been issued out, people had taken to writing messages on the back. Some held empty promises of keeping in touch, others were tender and to the point.

Either way, I knew that I'd definitely be hanging this photo over my mantel- crazy faces, empty words and all.

* * *

><p><em>I love you Sirius- even though you're deaf to everything, moody, reckless, immature…in fact, you ruin everything when you open your mouth- you should just keep it shut! You're gruff, clueless- scratch that, hopeless- yet… <em>

_-Willow Tonks._

Sirius puzzled over this message until his brain was issuing steam- just like the train.

They were already halfway to Kings Cross.

Remus was sitting across from him, seeming to be buried in a book- as usual. It was a well thumbed copy of _Hogwarts; a history. _

Peter was snoring loudly in the corner, drool dribbling over his chin.

James had wanted to see Lily the first chance he got- there was no telling how long he'd be.

And so, Sirius had seized the opportunity- the short space of time, in which he could do something very unlike him.

The only thing that interrupted him from his thoughts, was the sound of the train rushing through the country side- that and Peter's fog-horn snoring.

After ten minutes of soild thinking, thinking, _thinking_- Sirius came to a conclusion.

Firstly- he had not day-dreamed the whole kissing episode the day before, and it was high time he admitted it to himself; he had enjoyed it.

Secondly- if she loved him… _why_ was she insulting him!

"Woman- they should be studying _them_ at the department of mysteries," Sirius mumbled irritably, stuffing the graduation photo back into his trouser pocket.

* * *

><p><strong>To Willa,<strong>

**You know- I think you're some kind of experiment from the department of mysteries; "How to annoy the sanity out of Sirius Black". You drive me mad- you're manipulative, loud-mouthed, indifferent and you love cats- what's _with_ that anyway?**

**You're poisonous and hard to understand and well…**

**-Sirius.**

**P.S I noticed you long before my cousin's wedding. **

Willa smiled as she read Sirius's message- all those things were true of course. She accepted that she was that way, that she was overbearing and sickeningly confident at times. She classed herself as a 'caring' disaster- because manipulative, albeit well meaning, was who she is.

Besides, insulting one another was just their cryptic way of saying 'I love you'.

It was a fact that had Willa laughing under her breath, as she read and re-read what Sirius had written her, while Alice and Lily were preoccupied with James.

It was the sweetest thing that Willa had ever read- that and it was pretty amusing.

* * *

><p><em>Remember, James, the day I first turned you down? I felt like pushing you into the lake- but I left that temptation til' the fourth time I rejected you.<em>

_Sorry about that by the way! I didn't know the squid would try to drag you under…honestly, I'm glad you didn't drown! _

_Honestly. _

_Don't go flying off on your broom James, away from me, for good- ok? Like you could have that day._

_~Lily. _

_P.S Don't call me Tiger Lily...oh and…love you._

James read the message on his way back to his own compartment, dodging around the young woman selling sweets with a polite nod.

He had decided it was time to leave after almost being mauled by Lily's cat- whom he had now dubbed 'The Rabid Fleabag'.

'The Rabid Fleabag' didn't seem too fond of him for some reason.

He was surprised at her worry for a few seconds, before realizing it was a credible fear- with Voldemort on the rise and all.

If he knew one thing for sure- he wasn't packing his bags and climbing onto his broom anytime soon.

He was staying with her, for as long as she wanted him there.

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath, breathing in as much Hogwarts express smoke as possible, even though that was probably unhealthy.<p>

It was a scramble to get off the train, as usual, but for once- I wasn't rushing.

I wondered why the first years were so eager to get off, practically tripping over themselves to get to the platform.

Didn't they realize how quickly it all went?

How soon, they'll be standing on platform nine and three quarters, thinking the same things I'm thinking?

How they'll be taking millions of mental pictures and still knowing somehow, it's not enough?

I gripped the handle of my trunk and squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the tide of students brushing roughly by me- readying myself.

Willa and Alice, who had gotten off behind me, had also been lingering in this weird forlorn limbo- of suddenly being eighteen and realizing… you're really never coming back.

Willa was the first to snap out of it.

She straightened up and pushed back her shoulders, shooting a grin behind her before she headed over to where her brother stood with his wife, his little girl perching on his shoulders like a bubblegum pink bird.

The grin was the most solid promise I'd gotten all day- she would be the one to write every week and visit unannounced every second day.

She didn't say a word- but she didn't have to.

Alice, taking strength from Willa's confidence, let out a long shuddery breath.

"Right- well. I'll see you soon Lily, look after yourself until then, alright?" she said over the din of families reuniting.

I gave her a smile, which I hoped was a cheerful, strong reassurance instead of a grimace.

With a hesitant nod, Alice headed off into the crowd, searching for her family and Frank.

I continued to linger- but knowing I'd have to set off eventually made it difficult.

I took another deep breath, taking more mental pictures as I did so and stepped forward- only to be stopped by James.

"Lily!" he called, weaving through the thinning mass of scattered students.

"James," I breathed, sounding relieved.

* * *

><p>James could hear his own heart beating in his ears as he lead Lily away from silently watching eyes and to a more secluded place, just behind a pillar.<p>

He was planning on getting permission from her father of course- he couldn't do this halfway.

But- he wanted an answer from her.

* * *

><p>He looked me straight in the eyes and I could see it again, something mirrored in them, tinted hazel, gold and green- a life together?<p>

Or was it a future I couldn't predict?

One where there were holes where one of us should be.

"Lily- do you want to get married?"

* * *

><p>(<strong>EDIT:<strong> I've done a small edit on the story- adding in what Sirius wrote to Willa.)

And that was the final for Memories of a Tiger Lily! I'll be splitting the story in half- so look out for the sequel, because there will definitely be one. **Definitely. **But first I have to go through the naming process!

Thank you for all the reviews- to be truthful I didn't think I'd get this many. I hope you'll stay on to read the second half!

Oh and I'll be steadily editing this one- adding on and clipping off- like a bonsai tree. (The first chapter especially- it's so freaking LONG!)

**The first chapter for the sequel should be out in the middle of next week. **

Well- I'm off to spit ball with my Gryffindor sister!

This is not goodbye, but simply- see you soon.


End file.
